Do you resent people who always ask for money

[braggin]

I have one family member who ONLY contacts me when she wants something. For example, she recently sent me a list of things her kids want for Christmas. She never calls or drops me a card or anything in the way of thinking of me with her own heart. That I find very irritating. I wouldn't mind her asking for stuff if she showed an ounce of caring back, but she never does.

[alice44]

I must be fortunate because I've never  had anyone ask me for money.  Except the kids when they were growing up!

[PGS28]

I have a resentment for family members who start acting funny towards me once I cut off them using me.  Most recently is my sister, which really hurts.  I won't be used just to have people in my life; I'm fine being on my own.

[PGS28]

Don't let anyone use you.  Only lend what you can afford to not get back.  When it becomes clear certain people only talk to you when they are in need then it's time for you to make it clear that you won't be their bank.  Easier said than done but do-able and necessary.

[bshee58]

I wouldn't say resent, but I think people who ask for money should consider the  circumstances of the person they are wanting the money from, everybody aren't well off, they are just barely making ends meet, they want it when they want it, and get upset with you when you tell them no, you just don't have any to spare.

[sfreeman8]

I got a very small inheritance in 2010 and used most of it to pay off my mom's mortgage as she had passed & although the house was in disrepair I figured I could fix it up with the little I had left. Before I knew it people came out of the woodwork asking for money and soon it was all gone and the house was in really bad shape.  So this past year I sold the house and again people are asking for money.  Worse is my mom's pastor who has kids who make more in a week than I do in a month.  I am not giving out any this time.  I am going to try and hang on to some for a rainy day (MY potential rainy day)  and do some things that make me happy. Does that make me selfish?

No, it doesn't make you selfish. You need to protect yourself for the future and look out for yourself. When my mom died, her insurance policy paid. No one knew except my husband that I had gotten this insurance money and it lasted almost 10 years.  it was some kind of policy like an IRA. I couldn't get the full amount but I didn't care.  If I would've been smart, I would have opened an account that would pay interest but I didn't think at the time.

[brian8713]

I hate those people. I have people who talk to me twice a year, one of the times is to ask for a $20K loan. Firstly, I don't have $20K. And secondly, if I did, they wouldn't be getting it. Everybody wants something for nothing. You just have to be firm and explain to these deadbeats that you're not an ATM. And I am HARDLY rich. I live paycheck to paycheck like everyone else, but I don't go around asking people for money because I want a new big screen tv or some other luxury item.

[PGS28]

I got a very small inheritance in 2010 and used most of it to pay off my mom's mortgage as she had passed & although the house was in disrepair I figured I could fix it up with the little I had left. Before I knew it people came out of the woodwork asking for money and soon it was all gone and the house was in really bad shape.  So this past year I sold the house and again people are asking for money.  Worse is my mom's pastor who has kids who make more in a week than I do in a month.  I am not giving out any this time.  I am going to try and hang on to some for a rainy day (MY potential rainy day)  and do some things that make me happy. Does that make me selfish?

Hello!

Exactly! We as women get so used to taking care of everyone else that we forget our own self care.  That needs to change.

No that does not make you selfish at all, you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. No, I don't resent anyone, however, I do question why you feel that I owe you anything without offering me anything.

[gaby_ro_2004]

You are not selfish,you know how to budget your OWN money.

[PGS28]

That's very humble and I'm sure/I hope she appreciates it.

If I have extra and I always share  it to my 83 years old mother. I always send her money almost every month. I just wanted her to enjoy life .

[PGS28]

That's terrible but karma eventually reaches everyone.

dancer139 that is exactly what happened in my family only a brother and sister.  And as soon as they got their share I haven't seen either one of them since 2010.  They shouldn't have really even gotten anything seeing as they got so much when my mom was alive.  That is why her dream house was in such bad disrepair she couldn't spend money on the house for taking care of them.  Oh well everyone can forget it now and "sink or swim"

[squirrelgirl44]

Money ruins more relationships than anything... I spent many years assisting a family member financially. When I stopped, the rest of my family stopped talking to me. seriously. It's been almost 4 years now and they pretend like I don't even exist.

[snuggleycutejc]

I had to use my small one to fix the house was really hard to keep it a secret. 

[vg7405]

Yes, I do. It is one thing to ask for money when you have genuinely exhausted all possible avenues. But knowingly and deliberately failing to do your due diligence in earning your own money and essentially panhandling for a hand out is absolutely atrocious...and aggravating to me.

[sbenkoski]

I have never been paid  a cent of what i  loaned out.        what i'm  amazed is thet act like you owe them.