Jokes*Stories*Funny Pictures

[sms0922]

heard about the Irish gang in NYC?  The st. patty's day gang.   When they do a drive-by, if you're not wearing their colors,. . they jump out and pinch you!   

Wow guess I better wear green!   lol

[meadowsmay1130]

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.


Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than
I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I
knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released ALL the gas.


Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: 'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!'


He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone
rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.


The bake d beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.


Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage!!!


Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.


My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.


At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'


I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MystedMoon]

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.


Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than
I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I
knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released ALL the gas.


Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: 'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!'


He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone
rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.


The bake d beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.


Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage!!!


Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.


My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.


At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'


I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO!!!!

[clint08]

Heres the true definition of Rabbit Ears.

[clint08]

Heres another one

[sms0922]

lol!  That pic is hilarious

[clint08]

Which one?

[sms0922]

the  cat   

[clint08]

Oh, that one is funny. I actually know someone that actually did that to his roommate.

[lernest08]

hello im new in this site and i need some help

[sms0922]

hello im new in this site and i need some help

hey what do you need help with

[lernest08]

can you explain to me how this job works??

[clint08]

This is not a "job". This is a site to earn little extra cash.

[lernest08]

and how can I earn that cash

[meadowsmay1130]

go to your offers page and pick out what you like if you dont have a lot of cash the best way to start is the no cedit card needed offers and free if you want high paying offers then you have to fork out a little money