Dating more than 1 person at once

[brian8713]

I want your thoughts on where my life is heading. Feel free to be brutally honest if necessary. I'm a pretty honest and moraled guy.

As of yesterday, I am now dating 2 guys, neither of which knows about the other one. My 1st boyfriend has been with other guys since we started dating. I said it's fine with me, and it is. Sometimes, you just want sex with someone else. But, I'm not going to sit around at home pining away for him while he's out getting it on with other guys. So yesterday, I went on a 1st date with a very nice gentleman. We talked considerably and are both interested in pursuing something more than just sex with the other person.

So now I have 2 boyfriends.

I've never been in this position before. I didn't agree with open relationships (for myself) until my marriage ended. It can be hard to commit yourself to just one person. At least for me. I'll admit that. My question is, should I tell them both about the other guy as soon as possible? I'm not looking for them to fight over me. I'm just honestly having a good time with both of them, and would be up for an exclusive relationship with either of them if they really want one. Should I tell them both about the other one? I've literally had 1 date with boyfriend #2 and (to disclose everything) I haven't had sex with either of them yet. Three dates with Boyfriend #1.

[Nancy5]

Please don’t get mad at me, but you are rushing this way too fast.  No, don’t tell either one about the other.  You are just casual dating now with both, there is no reason they need to know about the other.  Before I married I dated more then one guy at a time.  How do you know either of them don’t have other boyfriends?  Take your time, have fun, date them both and if you find another person you want to date - go for it!  Enjoy your life you only go around once.  When you and your boyfriend (whoever it is) becomes serious then you stop seeing other men, but until you meet Mr Right have other dates.  Good luck and I hope you find your sole mate you seem like a really nice guy.

[brian8713]

I'm not mad at you. I wanted brutal honesty!!! Lol. You're right. I really don't know that they both don't have other boyfriends, so I'm gonna take my time and get to know both of them like you said.

[metsrock69]

I think this is ok because before I was married, I actually dated 2 or 3 women at a time. I always told the women I was dating, If someone tells you they seen me with another woman, its most likely true. I actually met  my wife  while dating someone else. I told her the same thing. She lived in the same town I lived in. 3 months later we were married. 27 years later we are still  happy

[Nancy5]

Brian, I hope you find someone you love and who loves you back.  Please keep us updated and I’ll keep you in my prayers.  Best of luck.

[shawnix]

I agree with Nancy5. Just take your time... no need to tell one about the other yet.

[mrisha]

What are you trying to prove?  That is awful.  Is this a payback for the first boyfriend and his catting around.  What happens if you end up losing both of them.  You are playing one against the other and it's not fair if you don't tell the second gentleman what you are doing, you might just lose him or both.

[breazybu]

You should be open and discuss what you want. You don't need to tell them that you're seeing a particular other person. But you do need to have a talk with both of them about if they want to be in a closed or open relationship. That way everyone is on the same page. If you like the other guy better, you can discuss the fact that it's a new relationship and at this stage you're not ready to commit but if things go well in the future, it's something you can see yourself doing.

I'm currently single and I'm in the 'talking stage' with two guys. They both have been told over and over again that I am going to go out with whoever I want, whenever I want. One guy doesn't like it but deals, the other pouts and throws temper tantrums. They've both been given the option to 'just be friends'. I know that open relationships aren't for anyone, but at this time in my life, it's what I want.

[jwkelly]

 more stds in a shorter time

[lguzman1]

I don't believe in dating more than 1 person. I believe you will never find your right person if you cheating on the other, because that's what your doing is cheating on the other person. Many don't get away with it. Don't you feel bad about what your doing? or tired of lying? be careful it just might go bad on you.

[heidi0902]

If you just went on one date with one and three with the other then you probably aren't serious enough to consider it dating two people. You can go on a date with one person, not like them, and date somebody else the next week. If you want to be in a more serious relationship with one of them then they need to know you are still dating other people though.

[ancmetro]

   Both  sexes do it. Why? Friends come and go. Some of them do not want serious relationships.
   If they do not like you, they will leave you.                                                                                                                                               
   Once you find the one you really like: Become monogamous.

[sak4kat]

I'm certainly old fashioned - but I'm still going to put my input in none the less.  I believe dating is just that.  Dating people... not dating person.  When you're dating you're not committed to only one.  I think there is a clear difference between dating and "just having  sex".  One is simple and the other is destructive.  Emotional, physical and spiritual health is easier to destroy once sex is introduced into any relationship. Use caution - be safe - have fun but be smart while doing it!

[nannycoe1]

sounds like trouble to me

[PGS28]

I second that.

Brian, I hope you find someone you love and who loves you back.  Please keep us updated and I’ll keep you in my prayers.  Best of luck.