Going back to your former name (after divorce)

[brian8713]

OK, I'm a recently divorced male. I foolishly took my ex-husband's last name when we were married. Now that we're divorced, my legal name is my old name, however, it's just hard for me to process the paperwork to change my name back to my former name at work. I know I shouldn't be embarrassed, but I am. I feel like a hot mess. I can't even handle marriage. I want to be honest and truthful with my coworkers, but I also feel like correcting my name is an admission to failure. Can anyone relate to where I'm coming from? How long should I give it before going back to my former name?

[Azanne07]

your not required to take your last name back. if you don't wanna change it you don't have too but if you have already changed it with social security I suggest you get everything else changed over because it could really make a headache when it comes to certain things
good luck

[snuggleycutejc]

Don't forget the SS# office. Go back to your name is the first step in healing, a lot of people can't handle marriage as in I. I felt better when I shed the name, you go get that change now.     and....instead of doing the people relationships do the pet and the plant therapy it works - helps with your own disciplines and inner peace.   

[Katie_thehappywife]

I went back to my maiden name when I got divorced in my first marriage.  in the divorce case I told them in court I want to go back to my maiden name. once it was okayed I took and got my name changed on my ss as well as ID. of course we do that again but a different reason disowning my husbands family.

[bshee58]

I am divorced and still have my ex-husband last name, but have been trying to find out how I can get my birth last name back, I have been having my ex last name for over 25 years, longer than we been married. Any suggestions on how to get it back without paying a whole lot of money.

[Katie_thehappywife]

wish I could help maybe look to see if they have free name changes or a low cost way to change it. maybe go to avvon an ask the lawyer website

[makeblessed]

If you have changed official documents (ex.SS) then you want to change back so that all your official documents carry the same name; when I divorced  I asked  to have my name change back to my madien name in  the court documents, so for me it was easy since final court hearing was signed off on  it, if you need some legal assistance perhaps your local legal aid office can help,  I don't think co-workers and others will  care since  unfortunately for whatever reasons people get divorce every day; good luck.

[vickysue]

Go to your district court and ask them for help.  when I change mine I just went to  the social security office  and changed it. Nope does not always work that way. But the lady  helped me out at the district court. But now I  found out in order to get my  drivers license next year I will have to have a marriage cert. of my marriage now and also the divorce papers of my former marriage,  got it .  I burned the first one who knew I would ever need it again after  getting it in 1975. Also a lot of other paper work like  utility bills with my name on them. It is not  right that women here  in New Mexico have to jump through the loops and the illegal's  can just walk in and get a  special  one.  this happened because  our  old governor let the IA's get them.

[dreamyxo]

This is one of the reasons if I ever get married I'm keeping my name. 

[dsosnowski06]

If is going to help you heal then change it and it will probably be worth the effort.  I am not familiar with how to change it but I do know that my sister's divorce lawyer asked if she wanted to change hers back and she didn't only because she had kids and thought that it would confuse them especially when they went to school. 

[heidi0902]

Change it as soon as you are ready. There isn't any rush - focus on yourself and when you get the time change the name.

[vg7405]

I agree with one of the posters in this thread: if/when I get married, I am maintaining my maiden name. The way I see it, people have known me by it for several years. What is the point of changing it? Hopefully, my future husband isn't one of those super traditional men who get their pants in a bunch when a woman doesn't want to take their name. To the OP, it is OK. I wouldn't worry about what people think when you revert to your original name. It is far from an admission of failure.

[surveypro2016]

I've been married and divorced twice. I kept my second husbands last name when we divorced in 2004. Sometimes I wish I had went back to my maiden name after that divorce. I've had his name longer since the divorce than I had while we were married lol.

[Nancy5]

When I divorced I changed my name back.  If you changed your name anyplace, I would suggest you change it everyplace to avoid a mess.  I don’t know what you are embarrassed about at work, is it being gay (and they don’t know), or is it getting married and divorced.  There is nothing to be embassad about either.  Most people don’t care if you are gay and you might be surprised at the people who are divorced.  I have read your other posts and I know you are having a very hard time accepting the divorce.  I feel so bad for you, but you have to move on, please don’t spend time living in the past, enjoy your life, go out and find someone else.  I know it’s easier said then done, but don’t sit and cry for him, he’s not crying for you.  Good luck, and God bless you.

[catchow]

After divorce I kept my ex's last name