Grown children living at home.

[surveypro2016]

Show of hands, how many of you support your grown children?
I have two children: a 30 year old daughter and a 25 year old son. Both are on their own, supporting themselves without help from me. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has a 25 year old son with an Iphone 8 that lives in my boyfriends apartment AND my boyfriend pays all the bills, rent and his cell phone bill!!! His son only works 17 hours a week in retail and he got that job after he quit college after completing 3 years of a 4 year degree. He dropped out as he was tired of going to school. My boyfriend started staying in my apartment a year ago but refuses to give up his apartment. Am I crazy for seeing this as not ok? Or, am I wrong and many people still care for their grown children? Thoughts please....

[debidoo]

Well my two grown sons and I bought a brand new house and third the bills - here is where the unhappiness comes in - right away my youngest son moves in his girlfriend and her 9 year old daughter who has mental issues.  So if I complain about it he threatens to move out with them which would be good except then my other son and I get stuck with the younger son's third of all of the bills. I think there is no way to win so all i know to do is pray about it.

[kingozzy]

Yeah living at home while going to college is one thing, after that, time to move out kids!

[cathy37]

My daughter lived me with after she finished college for a few months, but she worked a job and paid her own bills and helped me with groceries.

[sak4kat]

There is a problem with adults not living as adults in our society.  I've invited my kids to live in our home when they become adults or graduate from high school (whichever comes first).  If they wish.  They have to pay rent. If they don't like that, they can pay rent somewhere else.  Rules still apply as respect to the rest of the family.  Again if they don't like em' they can leave and make there own.  I don't pay for there frills.  I refuse as I've gone without frills for years to raise them. 

[brian8713]

That seems to be the norm these days. I live on my own at 31, but I'm frankly in a bit over my head. I wish my parents would help me with expenses a bit more, but they expect me to scrape by on barely enough to keep a roof over my head, and in the process, I'm accumulating 10's of thousands of dollars in debt. One of the reasons I use this site!! I'm hoping to one day get back on my feet.

[aflyingmonkey]

I don't see a problem with kids living with their parents... as long as the kids are achieving & working on a future.
I know people from differing cultures here in America that do this as normal, like those from India. I know a lot that move their parents in with them & a lot that move their family in with their parents.

It is odd that a father is still paying all the expenses for a son when he doesn't live with him, it sounds like the son, dropping out of school after 3 years needs to see a therapist, could be suffering from depression.  The father just might not know how to deal with it, so by paying for everything is how he is dealing with it.

[BATISTAGIRL663]

i am currently going through this now my daughter moved out right after she graduated high school --my son who is 22 and not in school --who works and makes much more money than me --just won't pay is rent which i only charge him 200 dollars a month --i hate to be a bad ugly parent and put him out but i can't keep doing this all alone off of a disability check and 12  hour part time job ? i would love some advice

[mrsmere]

I feel it's enabling kids to allow them to stay home and have the latest items and not contribute.  No one lives for free.  I say charge them rent and if they refuse to pay show tough love and give them a moving notice.  This is becoming a lazy generation because parents let the young adults do these things and it's really not helping them.

[Nancy5]

My girls both lived with us ( summer months) when they went  to college When they graduated they came home and immediately looked for jobs, and both were lucky and found them shortly.  They both continued living with us for about 1 year, the younger one about 18 months _rent free.  They paid their own bills (phones, gas, insurance, etc),  once they had their “nest egg” they moved out.  My friend has 2 sons both in their 30’s living with her, rent free.  They both work, but only part time.   She buys all the food, pays all the bills, pays their insurance, and now one has brought his girlfriend in with him.  And she’s paying for her, she , girlfriend, doesn’t work.  I think she is so wrong in allowing this, at this rate neither will ever leave the house and I feel she is not helping them, she is hurting them. 

[w3s]

My brother used to live at home, but he was trying really hard to get out.

[dsosnowski06]

I have a daughter lives on her own and just finished her Master's degree in May and we helped with her normal bills as much as we could. (Did a non paying internship and worked part time and attended classes)    She finally landed a job and starts Nov. 6th (not her dream job but a job).  I believe that they all need help at time if they are actually trying to better themselves.  I do feel sorry for the ones that work so hard and then get rejected because they don't have the experience. 

[ccandpam]

I feel that kids need to learn how o be responsible and live on their own. if something happens to their parents. they are not going to know how take care of themselves.

[surveypro2016]

i am currently going through this now my daughter moved out right after she graduated high school --my son who is 22 and not in school --who works and makes much more money than me --just won't pay is rent which i only charge him 200 dollars a month --i hate to be a bad ugly parent and put him out but i can't keep doing this all alone off of a disability check and 12  hour part time job ? i would love some advice

It's tough to do anything to your children to cause them grief but sometimes, it has to be done. I cut my son off at 20. I cried a lot after as he was my baby but it had to be done. Now he's 25, married and they live an hour away from me. Sometimes you have to show the tough love. Good luck to you!

[gtdoss]

Both of my boys know that after they finish college, they are expected to set out on their own: their own jobs and their own homes. If there are emergencies, then of course they will be welcomed home with open arms. But even at that point we would expect them to be working to fix their emergency situations so that they could strike out on their own again. It isn't because we don't want them at home. It's because we think it is best for them to be out and supporting themselves. I've seen situations of which you speak where the child never really becomes an adult, and it's just very sad. I don't want that to ever happen to my boys.