Should I be dating again?

[brian8713]

Linderlizzie, I’m actually not looking for assurance that I should go ahead and start dating again. I’m open to the possibility that it’s too soon or maybe I just don’t have anything to offer the single men out there. I have my issues (anxiety and depression) that contributed to the end of my marriage. While it really hurts to have the person you were in love with tell you they think that you’re “crazy,” I recognize it would be the truth to a lot of people. I don’t want to let someone fall in love with me only to discover that I’m “damaged goods” and they won’t be able to make much of a life with me.

Sbenkoski, I feel completely over my husband. I never want to see him again. But I recognize for a lot of people, 5 months isn’t a very long time. In fact, a big part of me DOESN’T want to date. I just wanna hermit and watch tv and play with my cats. But I fear that would be giving in to depression.

[mrisha]

Why are you feeling guilty about not dating again?  Does anyone you know really care or is it just you who feels that way.  Secret:  no one cares if you are not dating. 

[sherryinutah]

I wouldn't recommend rebounding into another relationship but it is important to follow your heart - when it comes to love.

You'll know.  I'm also single and I'm on the same page with you.  I'd love to have a best friend where we're compatible but have a deep love for each other, as well.

[oldbuddy]

All I can say is three weeks after my divorce was final, I got married again and have stayed happily married for 47 years.

[bshee58]

Nancy its not a follow up on any one's life, if he chooses to put his business out there its up to him. As far as him dating again its totally up to him,and only him. You can live your life to the fullest, but in all things put God first, and he will direct your path. If you trust and believe, he will send you someone that is right for you, don't rush into anything without talking to God first.

[snuggleycutejc]

I say life is very short. go for it and good luck in 

[madeara]

I can't say either way.  That is a personal decision.

[Ittai]

I do honestly think that everyone has given some great advise based upon what we know, go thru personllay and what we are still learning.

[w3s]

It's not your fault if you're not the person they want you to be. A the very least, you can try

[debidoo]

I would love to help you out but I honestly don't know how someone can advise you regarding this -  it is something you need to search inside yourself and decide.  My husband died after a 34 year marriage and it is something I can't decide for myself yet - I am searching within myself and praying about it.  I guess really in the end it will be determined by either meeting or not meeting someone I would feel that way about.

[Katie_thehappywife]

I agree 5 months is to quick to jump into another relationship. I would wait at least a year. can you maybe have some friendships with other men to help you not feel so lonely. maybe  they have a club for people that like hunting, football or in a group. that might help you. for me in my divorce I joined a womens support group  and we had ladies night out. that helped me fill my loneliness in other ways until I knew I was ready to date.

[freedavis]

Dating is so hard today.  Just so hard to find a good person.,

[sbenkoski]

Linderlizzie, I’m actually not looking for assurance that I should go ahead and start dating again. I’m open to the possibility that it’s too soon or maybe I just don’t have anything to offer the single men out there. I have my issues (anxiety and depression) that contributed to the end of my marriage. While it really hurts to have the person you were in love with tell you they think that you’re “crazy,” I recognize it would be the truth to a lot of people. I don’t want to let someone fall in love with me only to discover that I’m “damaged goods” and they won’t be able to make much of a life with me.

Sbenkoski, I feel completely over my husband. I never want to see him again. But I recognize for a lot of people, 5 months isn’t a very long time. In fact, a big part of me DOESN’T want to date. I just wanna hermit and watch tv and play with my cats. But I fear that would be giving in to depression.

My take is if you need that time to VEG  watch tv  and hang out with the cats , its what your inside is telling you to do, chill for a while and do nothing! You're smart, you have reached out and asked questions, take a deep breath ,Do nothing , and enjoy it ! 

[dreamyxo]

Only you can decide that. 

[linderlizzie]

Okay. So just get out there and make friends and do stuff for other people to make them feel good.
Do some hobby stuff or take a class, get out and meet people and do some volunteering. 

Make yourself the  best "you" you can be first and then let what happens happen. If you cannot climb out of your funk after that, maybe you should consider seeing a doctor. Perhaps medication or a therapist could help you through this season. Don't wallow in your misery. Feeling sorry for yourself is an easy hole to dig, but really hard to climb out of.