I'm sorry for your loss. Death of a loved one is never easy, even after many years. I'm lucky enough to still have both of my parents, but there is always a part of me that worries about how I will cope when their time comes. It's an anxiety for me, and sometimes I fear that the phone is going to ring and it's going to give me bad news that somebody I love has passed away. But I try to find comfort in my religion. I know that one day, we will all meet again, our souls, in the afterlife. We will have no physical bodies, but only our spirits in which we can be free of earthly pain and suffering. I know the pain of your loss will never completely go away, but I hope you find comfort somehow too, in whichever way is best for you, whether it be religion or something else.