Posting Therapy

[JaniceSW]

I am posting this particular post today because during the past 7 months I have lost my brother-in-law, my only sibling, my long-term relationship of almost 16 years, and a good friend.  I didn't feel the loss for awhile, but now the grief is starting to well up.  I am having a somewhat difficult time but am trying to stay positive and think about new opportunities.  Still, at times, it is quite overwhelming since I come from a very small family and my parents have also been gone for quite some time.  They were in their 40's when I was born.
I may come back to this post from time to time to simply talk about what I am feeling and how I am coping.  Sometimes I am fine; other times, not so much.  Being older and out of the workforce seems to make it doubly hard.  I need to keep my "chin up."

[bshee58]

Sorry for the lost of your loved ones, just keep God in all you do, never think you are alone, because you're not, he there with you always, and i believe that your parents and others whom you've lost is also with you, you may not see them, but just know that they are there watching over you. The slightest noise you hear, the drop of an object, a gentle breeze and smooth touch on the cheek, just know that its a loved letting you know they are still with you.

[computermanjd3]

Just go easy on yourself and try to involve yourself in calming activities that refresh and recharge you.

[sbenkoski]

Well you sound allot like me, I lost every one then moved to a place I knew not a soul. I ran away for 3 years after losing my mother again to a place i didn't know any one. Have 0 family left and its really hard doing every thing by ones self.  I think the worst part is the people who try and force their ideas of how I should make myself happy! Or this one... you know your mom wouldn't have wanted to see you sad  ??  HELLO   you never even knew my mom and now you think you know what she wanted ??  I hate being alone !!!!  it suck !!!  AND i hate when people say well isn't time you move on ?? How about you not tell me what I should do or how long I should grieve !!  Making a new life at 58 isn't easy and making new real friends now days is impossible.

[JaniceSW]

sben:  I surely know how you feel.  It sounds as though we have a lot in common.  I appreciate you letting me know I am not alone.  Sometimes I surely feel it.  I wish we lived near one another.  I would invite you to meet me for coffee or breakfast or whatever. (By the way, I live in Michigan.)

To the others who have cared enough to share their thoughts, I love it!  I appreciate your sentiments.  I feel like I need support right now and am doing my best to support myself, but your kind, insightful words surely do help.

[sbenkoski]

sben:  I surely know how you feel.  It sounds as though we have a lot in common.  I appreciate you letting me know I am not alone.  Sometimes I surely feel it.  I wish we lived near one another.  I would invite you to meet me for coffee or breakfast or whatever. (By the way, I live in Michigan.)

To the others who have cared enough to share their thoughts, I love it!  I appreciate your sentiments.  I feel like I need support right now and am doing my best to support myself, but your kind, insightful words surely do help.

I'd love that as well.... I been to Michigan a few times and am a Pasty Fan big time.  Do you facebook ? 

[JaniceSW]

I do occasionally, Sben!!!  I would love to friend you and talk privately once in a while.  I am not real familiar with Facebook though.  How could we do that?

[sbenkoski]

Then you have a face book account ?   

[countrygirl12]

I am posting this particular post today because during the past 7 months I have lost my brother-in-law, my only sibling, my long-term relationship of almost 16 years, and a good friend.  I didn't feel the loss for awhile, but now the grief is starting to well up.  I am having a somewhat difficult time but am trying to stay positive and think about new opportunities.  Still, at times, it is quite overwhelming since I come from a very small family and my parents have also been gone for quite some time.  They were in their 40's when I was born.
I may come back to this post from time to time to simply talk about what I am feeling and how I am coping.  Sometimes I am fine; other times, not so much.  Being older and out of the workforce seems to make it doubly hard.  I need to keep my "chin up."

Well you sound allot like me, I lost every one then moved to a place I knew not a soul. I ran away for 3 years after losing my mother again to a place i didn't know any one. Have 0 family left and its really hard doing every thing by ones self.  I think the worst part is the people who try and force their ideas of how I should make myself happy! Or this one... you know your mom wouldn't have wanted to see you sad  ??  HELLO   you never even knew my mom and now you think you know what she wanted ??  I hate being alone !!!!  it suck !!!  AND i hate when people say well isn't time you move on ?? How about you not tell me what I should do or how long I should grieve !!  Making a new life at 58 isn't easy and making new real friends now days is impossible.

People are just trying to help.  And they are right.  Doesn't matter if they knew your mom or not.  She would not want you to be depressed.  No mother would want their child to be depressed.  I agree that people should not say "isn't it time you moved on".  If you talk about your problems to people then it is not fair to get mad at their response.   The same as if you post in a public forum and ask a question and then get mad because everyone doesn't agree with you.

[countrygirl12]

I am posting this particular post today because during the past 7 months I have lost my brother-in-law, my only sibling, my long-term relationship of almost 16 years, and a good friend.  I didn't feel the loss for awhile, but now the grief is starting to well up.  I am having a somewhat difficult time but am trying to stay positive and think about new opportunities.  Still, at times, it is quite overwhelming since I come from a very small family and my parents have also been gone for quite some time.  They were in their 40's when I was born.
I may come back to this post from time to time to simply talk about what I am feeling and how I am coping.  Sometimes I am fine; other times, not so much.  Being older and out of the workforce seems to make it doubly hard.  I need to keep my "chin up."

There is nothing wrong with being sad.  Nobody could expect you or any one else to be upbeat and happy all the time.

[PGS28]

I truly hope you find peace soon.

[sherryinutah]

It's natural to grieve when you lose loved ones.  My understanding is that love is the emotion with the highest vibrational frequency and grief is the emotion with the lowest vibrational frequency.

When I worked as a hospice volunteer we had a saying that goes like this:

"Everyone travels through the valley of grief; however, it's not in our best interest to pitch a tent and camp there."

I wouldn't tell someone what to do or not do.  I would only make a suggestion to find ways to lift yourself mentally and emotionally.  That's an important part of the healing process.

 

[sbenkoski]

I am posting this particular post today because during the past 7 months I have lost my brother-in-law, my only sibling, my long-term relationship of almost 16 years, and a good friend.  I didn't feel the loss for awhile, but now the grief is starting to well up.  I am having a somewhat difficult time but am trying to stay positive and think about new opportunities.  Still, at times, it is quite overwhelming since I come from a very small family and my parents have also been gone for quite some time.  They were in their 40's when I was born.
I may come back to this post from time to time to simply talk about what I am feeling and how I am coping.  Sometimes I am fine; other times, not so much.  Being older and out of the workforce seems to make it doubly hard.  I need to keep my "chin up."

Well you sound allot like me, I lost every one then moved to a place I knew not a soul. I ran away for 3 years after losing my mother again to a place i didn't know any one. Have 0 family left and its really hard doing every thing by ones self.  I think the worst part is the people who try and force their ideas of how I should make myself happy! Or this one... you know your mom wouldn't have wanted to see you sad  ??  HELLO   you never even knew my mom and now you think you know what she wanted ??  I hate being alone !!!!  it suck !!!  AND i hate when people say well isn't time you move on ?? How about you not tell me what I should do or how long I should grieve !!  Making a new life at 58 isn't easy and making new real friends now days is impossible.

People are just trying to help.  And they are right.  Doesn't matter if they knew your mom or not.  She would not want you to be depressed.  No mother would want their child to be depressed.  I agree that people should not say "isn't it time you moved on".  If you talk about your problems to people then it is not fair to get mad at their response.   The same as if you post in a public forum and ask a question and then get mad because everyone doesn't agree with you.

And I will tell you as well "you did not know my mother" So do not tell me what she wanted for me !  How ever you'd like to believe all mothers want whats best for their kids, I'm suffering PTSD because of my mother so if you can over ride what my Dr.  says  then I'll listen !

[mrsmere]

I'm praying for you.  I think on the good memories and fun times I  had with them and this helps me.

[JaniceSW]

You have all been so thoughtful and helpful to post and try to be uplifting to me.  I truly appreciate it.  I seem to be so emotional lately.  I feel VERY alone in many ways.
And yes, sben, I have a Facebook account!  Would love to communicate a little from time to time.