New slogans for United Airlines

[cateyes1]

                             

                              We have First Class, Business Class, and No Class.

                             

                              Our prices can’t be beaten...but our passengers can.

                             

                              We put the hospital in hospitality.

                             

                              We beat our passengers, not the competition.

                             

                              We have an offer you can’t refuse. No, really.

                             

                              Board as a doctor, leave as a patient.

                             

                              Not enough seating? Prepare for a beating.

                             

                              And you thought legroom was an issue.

                             

                              Proudly offering Admiral’s Club, Captain’s Club, and Fight Club.

                             

                              If our staff need a seat, we’ll drag you out by your feet.

                             

                              Good news: We’re serving free meals again. Bad news: It’s a knuckle sandwich.

                             

                              We treat you like we treat your luggage.

                             

                              Fight or flight.

                             

                              You may have patients, but we don’t have patience.

                             

                              We have red-eye and black-eye flights available.

                             

                              We’ll even hit a guy with glasses.

                             

                              Now serving free punch.

 

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[gsdoss]

Or the scene from Airplane

[sbenkoski]

TOOOOO  FUNNY!!  thanks for the giggle time!!

[Nancy5]

Funny but sad too!

[MichelleHW101]

They literally should use these!  At least customers would know what they were in for.   

[JediJohnnie]

  Hah! Those are Hilarious!

[pureasarose]

How did you come up with all these? These are brilliant.

[davidh121]

That is kind of catchy. If it wasn't for the fact that I know people in the airline industry, I would be heckling a bit more on this topic. I wish the origins came out better where there was a person who took the offer to leave the plane, but it didn't happen.

[dwiley11]

Awesome live entertainment

[tuyetmai]

This is so funny but it's true when we think about it.

[lmrbean]

Haha. These are so funny and clever!

[AdedotunOlufunke]

Just changing their slogna does not change anything, unfortuantely the news is already dead.