How Old Is Too Old?

[JaniceSW]

What do you think?  How old is too old to be living with your parents?  I have recently watched several TV shows as well as having some acquaintances where children ranging from 25 to as much as 36 are living at home.  I don't mean for 6 months while they get on their feet after a life circumstance.  I think the least time is 2 years.  Do you think some parents enable their children and want them to be dependent?

[adriarobi]

If they are comedy shows, the dysfunction of kids living at home that long is part of the humor.

In reality, there are times it makes sense...if the adult child has to have time to get a job/apt etc, or the parents need help.

But I too have seen situations that it is a lazy adult child taking advantage of the parent.  I personally find that kind of creepy.

[michele2042]

Our adult son recently moved back in with us, circumstances happened that made it necessary.  It's been a tremendous help to my husband and I.  The work he is doing around the house is amazing.   Things we really wanted to get done but became difficult due to our age and health concerns.   He also loves to cook so that's been great.   We are enjoying it while it lasts because I don't think it will be long term (forever).

[catchow]

I personally dont think its anyone elses business if adult children live with their parents

[blainehenry]

I agree

[jkhanson]

I haven't seen the tv shows. 
I rather liked the comment in here by catchow: 

I personally dont think its anyone elses business if adult children live with their parents

In our lifetime, we have had one adult daughter move back in with us with her kids on several occasions.  It is not necessary for me to explain to you the reasons why.  It was necessary.

Currently, we have a second adult daughter with her two children living with us.  Again, not necessary for you or others to know the story. 

Are there times when I feel stressed with the situation?  Yes.  Are there blessings because they are here.  Yes.

Can parents be "used"? Yes

Will I enjoy having the house to just my husband and me again someday?  Yes

Do I want my children dependent on us?  NO

Will I be there for my children? Yes

[aflyingmonkey]

Many cultures have the extended family living in one home.
I have several Indian friends who enlarged their home with the intent that their kids will marry & come live with them.  These are highly educated people with good incomes, so it is a cultural thing for many.

I think if more well paying jobs come back to America shortly, there will be more people able to live on their own.... as it is now, the middle class jobs have all but vanished & you are either working/poor - working while collecting benefits; or well paid.   Or just on some sort of welfare.   

[kathleenkleinhans]

I agree with Michele 2042, we just had a similar experience and our son was so helpful with all the fall chores

[Nancy5]

Once upon a time you graduated school, got a good job and moved out.  Once upon a time, sadly times have changed, the good jobs are disappearing and the cost of living is rising.  I don't see any problem with adult children living with their parents as long as both sets agree on it and there are rules set in place,  the children must help out financially and with things around the house (yard work, cooking, etc).   It's really no ones business why an adult child moves back in, or never moved out.

[davissy]

I think it depends on culture.  In some culture, it's usual for kids to stay with their parents until they marry and move out (unless they go to school/found work some place far away).  It lets the kids save up money so that they can afford a home when they marry.

[potluck6]

My 2 older kids moved out in their early 20's. My youngest is 25 and living at home. Fine with us cause he does alot of work around the house. He is  doing our kitchen floor . Learned how to do it on youtube.He also is only working 5 hrs a day  another reason he is living with us. My other son moved back in with his wifes parents for about 8 mns .He wanted to pay down his 20,000 truck and he did.

[tnshpalmer85]

I think it depends on the situation. If the adult child is working and helping to pay for bills, has their own private pace and is a single person, I think it is ok. If the child is lazy, does not help around the house, does not work or going to school to better themselves, they need to get out by 21. They are just taking up space and they need to do it at their own place.

[mrsmere]

It's up to the parents and the situation.  People have Sometimes different reasons.  I know older kids that stay home and help their elderly parents and that's better than getting someone in the house that can't be trusted.

[6265AT99]

Wow - things sure have changed!!  When I was young, I remember wanting to move out of my parents house when I was 18 yrs. old - of course I didn't until I was 21 and getting married but, even today I know my grandson moved out when he was 19 and so far he's doing ok.  Maybe parents need to push their kids out!!!!

[bshee58]

I had posted a question to this or almost the same, but i asked when should you tell your adult child to leave home or when is it time to leave the nest. My daughter is 19 and going to college, so i think when she gets herself a good job and save money, then its time for me to say i think its time.