Jealousy of a friend

[o2bnocn]

So I'm not a jealous person at all. However, I have always wanted to own my own home. A "dream house / home" as the saying goes. I've spend the last few years focusing on my career. A friend of mine just moved into a house. She has been bragging about it a little bit. She is with a man, and has three children. She lives in another state so we mainly only talk through email, facebook, and rarely on the phone. I know it is a lot easier to distance myself since she lives in another state. Sometimes it just doesn't feel right knowing that she accomplished this goal in life by being with a man than having a career. I know I sound cruel in this way.

[debidoo]

No it is completely understandable.  You sound more wistful and disappointed than jealous to me anyway.  I have been going through something similar regarding my niece so I understand - I hope your homeowner dreams come true.  I spent most of my adult life going to school and then became disabled so I really do know what you mean.  Hang in there and hopefully things will work out for you.

[o2bnocn]

Thank you. Yes, having a career or trying to get ahead in life can almost seem impossible. I spent a lot of time studying in college, and now have a career. However, I still do not earn the income I thought I would. I'm seeing progress and slowly starting to earn more but it also doesn't help that I don't earn hourly. In some ways getting paid fixed prices is great but most of the time I feel underpaid. It really does sound like you can relate! I've really been trying to get more work, increase my income. However I know a better paying job is my best possibility of a decent wage and having dreams of owning a home. Best of luck to you!

[BATISTAGIRL663]

we all get jealous from time to time and want what others have --thats called being human and i have mercy i am human !! it is also ok to focus on a career and and want to be solid in life as far as work goes and yours will come just keep pushing forward --

[o2bnocn]

Thank you. That is a very good way of thinking.

[Nancy5]

Everyone is jealous of other people at times.  I can understand how you feel, she has what you don't and want and got it by being with a man.  I don't want to sound terrible, but look at the divorce rate in this country.  Suppose we flash ahead 5 years, she is no longer with him, and not in a home, but you have worked and saved and have a home you bought by yourself not by being with a man.  That is an accomplishment you made, she did not!

[teresa3200]

My High school best friend and her family came to visit me about 20 years ago and saw where I was living. At that time she was a renter and had no problem that I was living in a home that was a partial mobile home with improvements and additions making it a partial foundation home. I hadn't spoken to her for many years and when I did her and her husband had built a new home. At that time she asked me if I tore my home down and built a "real" house. I was so upset by her comment. I told her there was no reason for me to do that, my home was paid for, why would I rebuild to have a payment? She said she was just wondering. But I have never forgotten that comment. Since then I have always thought my home wasn't good enough. So I'm not sure if I'm jealous or if she is.

[Penwoir]

I really admire you for wanting to achieve your goals all by yourself, without the assistance of anybody else. That is remarkable, there is no doubt about it. However we all have different goals and different standards. Some people want to own their own house, some people are happy to rent perhaps because they don't know how long they may be in the area for. I always wanted to own a house and make it my own, but more than that, I wanted to share my life with somebody. So I looked for the somebody first and then we shared a house together. But that doesn't mean I took an easy route, it just means I have different priorities and that's okay. It's also ok for you to want to achieve this on your own. I take my hat off to you as you set yourself high goals. There is definitely something to be said for those that don't have to rely on anybody else, because nobody can let you down. Good luck to you, and I hope you find your dream house.

[amyDAST]

So I'm not a jealous person at all. However, I have always wanted to own my own home. A "dream house / home" as the saying goes. I've spend the last few years focusing on my career. A friend of mine just moved into a house. She has been bragging about it a little bit. She is with a man, and has three children. She lives in another state so we mainly only talk through email, facebook, and rarely on the phone. I know it is a lot easier to distance myself since she lives in another state. Sometimes it just doesn't feel right knowing that she accomplished this goal in life by being with a man than having a career. I know I sound cruel in this way.

I would be happy for her. Sure she may not have a career but raising kids is a job in itself. The grass isn't always greener on the other side is a great motto to apply here. Just because she has purchased a home doesn't mean her life is so great. Keep focusing on you & your goals & your time will come as well. Hope that helps your mind a little!

[ancmetro]

     We all have dreams and goals. She is one of the very lucky ones. Some have the home and no husband and children. Others have a husband and children but have no home. Do not be jealous. Concentrate with "what are you going to do with your life?"

[o2bnocn]

Everyone is jealous of other people at times.  I can understand how you feel, she has what you don't and want and got it by being with a man.  I don't want to sound terrible, but look at the divorce rate in this country.  Suppose we flash ahead 5 years, she is no longer with him, and not in a home, but you have worked and saved and have a home you bought by yourself not by being with a man.  That is an accomplishment you made, she did not!

Wow, you explained what I am feeling so well right now. I understand why this sounds cruel though. Not that I would ever want her to get divorced.

[countrygirl12]

So I'm not a jealous person at all. However, I have always wanted to own my own home. A "dream house / home" as the saying goes. I've spend the last few years focusing on my career. A friend of mine just moved into a house. She has been bragging about it a little bit. She is with a man, and has three children. She lives in another state so we mainly only talk through email, facebook, and rarely on the phone. I know it is a lot easier to distance myself since she lives in another state. Sometimes it just doesn't feel right knowing that she accomplished this goal in life by being with a man than having a career. I know I sound cruel in this way.

Did you not make the choice to "not be with a man"?  Yes, people who are married or just living together can have more than the single person.  The only thing that would irritate me would be bragging.  Or maybe she is just happy and wants to talk about it.  I get irritated with people in my life who have never really struck a lick at anything and yet every thing seems to fall in their lap and they act like their life is SO hard.  I have worked for every thing I have and still fighting to stay afloat.  So I can understand what you are saying.

[countrygirl12]

we all get jealous from time to time and want what others have --thats called being human and i have mercy i am human !! it is also ok to focus on a career and and want to be solid in life as far as work goes and yours will come just keep pushing forward --

I would not really say that she is "jealous".  I would get irritated too.  But I would also probably answer emails less and texts less. haha

[countrygirl12]

My High school best friend and her family came to visit me about 20 years ago and saw where I was living. At that time she was a renter and had no problem that I was living in a home that was a partial mobile home with improvements and additions making it a partial foundation home. I hadn't spoken to her for many years and when I did her and her husband had built a new home. At that time she asked me if I tore my home down and built a "real" house. I was so upset by her comment. I told her there was no reason for me to do that, my home was paid for, why would I rebuild to have a payment? She said she was just wondering. But I have never forgotten that comment. Since then I have always thought my home wasn't good enough. So I'm not sure if I'm jealous or if she is.

Uh no, you are not jealous.  And she isn't either.  She does not want what you have.  A junky run down fake home. lol.  Wow, that was beyond rude.  I would have told her...I have a real house.  If you like where you live then it is good enough.  It does not have to be "good enough" for any one else.  The first house I bought some family visited because they wanted to see my new home.  And it has been 18 or so years and the comment was made "well it is cozy".  Yes, it was an insult.  The house was small and I knew that.  But it was what I could afford.

[vickysue]

I would just ignore  her and her remarks.  Just be thankful you have a house to live in and a job.
so many are so unfortunate right now.  The homeless  are not being treated right nor are our vets. Thanks to obama. I pray Trump will  take care of them.  and those who are jobless and want to work need jobs so badly.