Frustrated over my brothers cancer

[teresa3200]

I know I have posted about my brother having stage 4 melanoma in the past. I'm not going to get into the details of that, but I am so frustrated with everything his girlfriend is doing and lying about. He is going to Moffit cancer center in Tampa. My brother is Dyslexic, so he doesn't have the ability to read his own paperwork. She has assigned herself to take care of everything for him. I was given the portal information so I could check on all of his medical info from this side since I can't go to his appointments with him. Now the portal will not let me in. She said there is a problem with the portal. I called Moffit, they said that there have not been any issues with the portal and nobody else has complained of any issues. She swears it is all Moffits fault and she didn't change the password. This is the second time she has done this, the first time she gave me a false password with a cuss word and way too many characters in it. Moffit of course won't tell me anything since she has told them she is his wife (which is a lie) and is the only one allowed to discuss his medical condition.

[Nancy5]

I really don't have an answer for you.  Can you talk to your brother about this?  If he gave her his power of attorney your hands are tied unless you want a battle in court and having him declared incompetent.  Do you have other siblings or are your parents still alive that have information to give you?  Are you not close (in distance) that you can visit him and find out information yourself?  If I were you I would get to the place where he is, hospital, his home, etc, as soon as possible to see what's going on.  Good luck, God bless. And please keep us posted.

[teresa3200]

He does live close by, but it doesn't matter. She has him convinced that whatever she says is the truth, even if the DR says one thing she will convince him otherwise. I have been to a couple of his appointments with him in the past, my schedule just doesn't allow me to go anymore. His DR explained things at that time when I was there, but I could tell neither my brother or his girlfriend had a clue what was going on. I had to explain it all afterwards. That is why I had access to the portal, but she has control of it. Now she has done something so I can't get into it. So I have no clue what medication they even have him taking anymore.

[vickysue]

Sounds like she is jealous of anyone else helping. I would go to a lawyer and declare him imcompentant, and you would have to prove she is not his wife so she really has no legal way of keeping you from him. You will just have to prove it.  or have papers drawn up  and explain them too him about  a power of attorney.
we had to with hubbies aunt.  It wasn't too hard. But she had  her great nephew on it and it was not working out. took a while to get it all changed. But glad we did it. as the boy was taking advantage of her.

[Nancy5]

The only other thing I can think of, if other family members can't or won't help is if he is over 65 find an organization that helps seniors.  Look up in yellow pages , senior solutions, area on aging, etc.  they might be able to help you. Good luck

[plennis]

I wish you the best of luck, all of this can be as you said very frustrating on top of all his health issues.  I would check into the power of attorney option. 

[teresa3200]

He is only in his 50s. He isn't incompetent, it's just that he believes everything she says. The Dr had said a while back when they did surgery to remove some of the tumor from his brain that he was suppose to stay calm and not be upset, so my parents don't want to do or say anything that might upset him. So she gets to get away with everything. I just wish I knew someone else that was going to Moffit that could verify that there has been no portal issues so I could tell him that and maybe he would understand she is lying about it and sign me on as an authorized person to check  on his information.

[lvstephanie]

Did he file the legal paperwork to make his GF his Power of Attorney? If not, I'd just go to Moffit and say that you are going to report them to the State for HIPAA violations. Although you wouldn't be able to sue for civil violations as your brother would have to be the one to do so, you can still alert the State to the criminal violations. She could also be brought up on criminal HIPAA charges for making fraudulent claims in order to circumvent the law to receive protected health information, which could lead to fines of +$1000 and jail time. I'd definitely talk with a lawyer to get her removed completely from the portal (as she shouldn't have had access let alone admin. authority for the account). She doesn't need to help him even with his dyslexia as the clinic should have staff (or some other way) of aiding him with his paperwork that wouldn't violate HIPAA regulations.

[tgreen20]

I know I have posted about my brother having stage 4 melanoma in the past. I'm not going to get into the details of that, but I am so frustrated with everything his girlfriend is doing and lying about. He is going to Moffit cancer center in Tampa. My brother is Dyslexic, so he doesn't have the ability to read his own paperwork. She has assigned herself to take care of everything for him. I was given the portal information so I could check on all of his medical info from this side since I can't go to his appointments with him. Now the portal will not let me in. She said there is a problem with the portal. I called Moffit, they said that there have not been any issues with the portal and nobody else has complained of any issues. She swears it is all Moffits fault and she didn't change the password. This is the second time she has done this, the first time she gave me a false password with a cuss word and way too many characters in it. Moffit of course won't tell me anything since she has told them she is his wife (which is a lie) and is the only one allowed to discuss his medical condition.

I live in Tampa too!! I would see if you could meet her at Moffit so you can get everything cleared up.

[killers2]

I'm sorry to hear this!  Hope his health sees improvement! 

[teresa3200]

I live in Tampa too!! I would see if you could meet her at Moffit so you can get everything cleared up.
[/quote]
We all live in Sumter county, I usually work in St Pete/Clearwater, so we are too far away to meet at Moffit. What I do I can't cancel my schedule since I am self employed and my schedule is very full and no way to rebook anyone and can't afford to lose large accounts.

[mjoseph1]

having family members deal with cancer i know the amount of stress the situation brings, i hope everyone can get on the same page if for nothing other than your brother's peace of mind while he's going through this