Question please??????????

[cateyes1]

I'm curious! What did he say??? 😄

Skyenkit, he said absolutely NOTHING grrrrr lol

[camellia0]

Yes, I agree with your daughter. If he never contacted her (or you), why bother him. He's living his life and has to live with the thought of not seeing his child (or grand kids). Leave him alone, is my thought. You don't want him to peek at your FB page and see what's goin on in your lives.

[licorice99]

 

I don't see anything wrong with it if it was something you wanted to do and it didn't hurt anyone.  I personally probably would not have even acknowledged him nor his birthday.  I would possibly send him an acknowledgement on the divorce anniversary, though.

 

[bremer51]

If he didn't respond, he probably doesn't know what to say.  How could he after 36 years. You opened a door for him. If he doesn't walk thru, that's not your fault.  You did what felt right at the time and all these opinions are merely opinions. Don't beat yourself up.

[premar16]

I know you were trying to be the bigger person! Kudos for that but you teach people how to treat if he ignored you then he doesnt deserve to interact with the person you have grown to be. Your daughter feels a little betrayed that your putting energy into someone who didnt care about her instead of using that  extra kindness to show her again how much love her. So my vote it was nice but not nessesary

[inertia4]

Well, that would all depend. If you did it to get him to acknowledge his daughter, then that would be fine. But just to do it, seems like a waste of time. And I cannot imagine a father walking away from a child and not seeing them.

[lucky382001]

I think it is totally up to you and how you feel about contacting him, after all you really are the one that had the relationship with him being that he hasn't been in his daughters life. It;s not wrong for you to do so but she also has the choice of refusing any part of him.  I think it says alot when someone is big enough to not stoop to someone elses lower level and behave badly. 

[Penwoir]

I think there is no right or wrong answer, it's your life and you chose to be nice in the moment. What's wrong with that? In my opinion he doesn't deserve your good nature, but that doesn't mean you can't become the bigger person and mend the bridges. There's nothing to be gained from keeping a broken relationship broken, not least for your daughter who has not had the pleasure of knowing a dad for most of her life time. You did nothing wrong and I would even go as far as saying, people could learn a lot from how forgiving you are! Whilst your daughter may not approve of your impulse move, nothing ventured, nothing gained!

[sherryfan]

I won't be surprise how your daughter felt. If he doesn't give child support or even response to you a "thank" you card after you send a happy birthday, why bother. For most biological parents it is easy to give birth to a child but ignore the child's finance and mental needs or even building up their relationship with the child. It remind me of Steven Jobs, but that's another story.

[Tresbn00]

I could not have messaged an ex-anything because I believe in moving on and not looking back. But you are a different person and have a heart.  You went out of your way to be nice to another human being even though they appear to have been less than nice in their ways. I don't look to the past to spread happiness and cheer but, instead, try to be as nice as I can to those in my present day life. If someone cuts me off I try to smile and shake it off-it gives me a greater feeling of inner peace. That person will go off angry and probably fester all day. Your ex is probably wondering why he let you go and not liking himself very much for the way that he treated you and your daughter.

[braggin]

I don't think there is any harm in what you did although it wasn't such a great idea in the first place. More like a small mistake. I wouldn't do it again if I were you.

[nannycoe1]

Let sleeping DOGS lie.

[6265AT99]

Well, I think out of "respect" for your daughter, it was a bad move.  After all you, yourself, said he "never looked back".  To me that means he didn't care enough for either you or your  daughter so why even bother wishing him anything!!  If it was me I would never have done it!!

[michele2042]

I believe it was simply a nice gesture on your part, that's it just a simple nice gesture and there isn't anything wrong with it.   We should all do small nice gestures every day.   Good for you.