I Thought My Husband Was A Born Again Believer But

[BK_Adores_Chase]

now I'm not so sure.  I'm wondering if it was all a charade - I know he wanted to marry me really badly and he was always afraid of losing me.  Not that he did it intentionally, I think he may have even fooled himself.  It's a long story, a LOT of background details, but now he doesn't even open his bible and he says he gets irritated because all I ever want to talk about is God.  He also loves the things of this world and thinks I'm being dramatic when I change certain things because I have been convicted / decided that those things are sin in God's eyes.  For example, there's this show I used to watch, Tosh.0, and in the show the guy makes light of homosexuality, abortions, Jesus, etc. (it's a comedy show) and I don't think God would appreciate me watching and laughing at those shows.

I just feel like I should stop talking about God to him so he doesn't get upset, even though he told me to keep talking about God because he probably needs to hear it.  But I don't know if that's a good idea (to stop talking about it) because I don't want it to negatively affect our marriage.  BUT maybe if I had another person I could call and talk to about the Lord, that would help.

Anyway, is there anyone out there married to an unbeliever that has any tips for me?  Am I wrongly evaluating the situation and maybe he IS saved but just not strong in his faith?

[Timberlan127]

I think religion is a personal thing and I don't think both partners need to have the same beliefs. I think you can both be open about what you believe but I don't think you need to change the other persons beliefs just because they are not yours.

[Nancy5]

I have to agree, religion is a personal private thing.  As a couple, sure it's great if you have the same beliefs, but that doesn't always happen.  My husband is Catholic and a semi practicing.  I am Lutheran and also semi practicing.  We got married outdoors at a beautiful location and by a justice of piece.  This way no side of family had hurt feelings.  We would go to his church and then another week to mine, always as a family.  We raised our daughters in both faiths and as they got older they choose which to follow or not to follow any (as adults they can make their own choices), it worked for us and  i hope it works for you. You can't make someone, no matter who, believe in what you want them to believe in.

[sak4kat]

My first husband wasn't raised in any religion.  I was brought up in a Catholic home.  A Catholic Church.  My mother is Catholic and my father's background was Southern Baptist.  He made the jump into Catholicism.  While going through a divorce I started visiting a Lutheran church through some of my ex's extended family members.  Although I wasn't at peace there.  Years later I found another Lutheran Church and I've learned there are different branches of the Lutheran religion.  When I go into Church to worship I have the most peaceful feeling.  I'm connected with the beliefs and people there.   The relationship one has with God is there business.  It doesn't mean as couples the relationship with God together is going to be the same. 

[alina6]

Is you husband really a non-believer or someone who is not as passionate about his faith as you are? To me that is a big difference. If he doesn't believe what you do then there are times that you won't agree with each others decisions. if he is just not as passionate then I would think you should be able to come to an understanding on most things. Good Luck!!

[debidoo]

Maybe 1 Corinthians 7:13 will help you - personal opinion as well I would just continue to be myself and talk to him the same way and about the same things as you did - You have to be true to yourself and you were a christian when you guys married so if you feel convicted against something you have to follow how God leads you.   Best of luck.

[bob1tina]

I know that people have different beliefs but if you stop talking about God than your spouse by not practicing the faith would not get the oppertunity to realize they need God in there life.  If he is doing nothing with religion than you are obligated to keep it in your life and maybe after a while your spouse would come around or at least see how serious and how important it is to you and if he truely loves you he will accept that you have not changed your way of beliefs since you got married, I would not do it all day long but hints here and there won't hurt.

[Screwedupclick4life337]

Everyone has there own beliefs an religions there's a point in which you guys won't agree an it might aggravate the other person but maybe it's just a part of the marriage were different problems are affecting it an no matter  what I just hope you guys work whatever it is out an god bless you guys

[rghvac69]

1 Corinthians 7:13-16 should help.

[alwaysinstyle]

i believe is not easy when only one person in relationship believes and actually have faith.
Everything goes together,then you fight,a lot of things going on.I personally thing i need GOD in my life.I am happy me and my husband have the same faith.

[dreamyxo]

You can't force anyone else to believe the same thing you do.  He has to make his own decision in what he believes.

[mjdoug03]

Maybe try talking to him and listening to what he has to say.  Can your marriage survive if he isn't religious?

[blondie71]

Just a little advice and I hope you read this.  Sometimes we can win someone over with out a word.  The scriptures state that.  This is what I believe it to mean that by your faith and actions he will see how much you believe and after a while he will notice that your faith means the world to you and you never know he might come around rather than you preaching to him all the time. Let him see you as a christian woman and he will come around and he will appreciate you so much more.  Now I am not saying not to talk about God just not so much other wise he might feel you are pushing him.

[bhiett]

People frequently are at different stages or levels in their Christian walk, even married couples.  He may feel pressured or judged when you talk to him about God if you are doing it a lot.  I would back off the talk but not the walk and pray for him in private.  If he is sincere in his profession of faith, he will come around eventually and in the meantime let God work in his heart.  You cannot force growth in someone else.

[ghunter]

Only you know if he is born again, does he walk the walk and talk the talk?  If not then he just pulled your leg.  A true believer always want to here about the Lord and talk about what the Lord have done, have done and will do.  I know my husband is a born again christian and he always talks about the bible and reads his bible daily so the Lord can guide and protect him.  So I say to you he is not... if so than he would not mind ypu talking about God to him.