I Thought My Husband Was A Born Again Believer But

[natashaspy]

Someone once told me we should realize that since God is omniscient that every sin we commit is like we're doing it at the foot of His throne.

Romans 6:1-2 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase?  May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?

Is he Catholic?

No, he isn't Catholic...he's supposedly Southern Baptist.  Either way, I've tried to explain to him what he does isn't right, but as you say..he'll be the one to have to answer for his actions.

[LenoraMinogue]

I also agree with some of the other responses here that religion is a private thing, and it doesn't necessarily have to be shared in a couple. What's of more concern is that it seems to be causing friction. My advice would be to talk to him openly about what he thinks, expressing your support of him. Listen to what he has to say. It may really help in this situation.

[sherryinutah]

In a codependent relationship, if one person is extreme about something...the other person could easily swing to the other polarity to create balance.  It all takes place on a subconscious level so neither person is consciously aware of what's happening.  I would suggest that you create balance within YOURSELF by taking a vacation from thinking about and talking about religion. 

Let him initiate the conversation occasionally and you might be surprised when you experience HIS spirituality.

Another suggestion.  Spend some time alone in nature with him where you are both silent.  Then you can experience the purity and love of each other's spirituality. 

 

[countrygirl12]

Do you know that he isn't saved?  Just because someone does not want to talk about God with every breath, watch Christian television and preachers all day and night, and only listen to Gospel music does not mean they are not saved.  If you want to do that then that is fine.  But you can't condemn others for not doing the same thing.  I have an aunt that watches the tv preachers constantly.  And all she wants to do is tell every one else what their sins are when by doing that she is sinning herself.  The Bible says to get the beam out of your own eye before you worry about the spec in someone else's.  I don't know how to say it without it sounding like I am being smart or hateful and I am not trying to be.  I am a Christian but I do not try to shove God on everyone all the time.  What you say verbally is nothing.  IT is what you DO that counts.  How you act.  I know a person who screams about God to people all the time and how they need to be saved but their actions are far from anything that says they are a Christian.  So people don't want to hear it.  Again, I am a Christian, but a few weeks ago this guy came in to where I worked and went off in a rant about God and now I should have just walked off but I didn't lol.  He was yelling at me and the manager about how the muslims, catholics, and mormons are all going to hell.  Then he'd say your a muslim aren't you?  You're a mormon aren't you?  I just wanted to say "You're an idiot!  All I could think was "keep it to yourself".  smh.  Does not mean I am not saved.

No, it's not even me preaching to my husband about Him sinning - I just like to talk about God.  I don't know about you guys but from what I've studying the central theme of our lives should be God.  It is all about Him.  He should consume our minds and our thoughts and we should long to make Him the center of everything we do.  Deuteronomy 11:18-20 "You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.  You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up.  And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates.."

John 4:23 ..the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.

We are saved for God - He doesn't save us so we don't go to Hell, although that is a benefit for us.  We are saved for the main purpose of worship.  It's splattered all over the Bible.  Worship is so incredibly important to God, I'm convinced it's the most important thing to Him.

I don't sit around watching preachers on TV all day - don't get me started on televangelists - I believe the majority of them are health and wealth / prosperity teachers.  Word of Faith.  Not good, not good at all.  Joel Osteen's wife Victoria just made a comment a week or so ago on national television about how when we serve God we aren't really doing it for Him, we are doing it for ourselves.  That's not what the Bible says.  That sounds selfish and self centered in my opinion.

And we are supposed to judge other who claim to be believers, but not judge unbelievers.  Matthew 18:15 "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. (it continues by saying what to do if they don't listen).  BUT we have to confront our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ in love.  Ephesians 4:15 speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ..

1 Corinthians also has some examples, to list one:  1 Corinthians 13:3 ..if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

If we do ANYTHING in an unloving way, it is completely done in vain.

We aren't supposed to shove the Gospel down people's throats but we are certainly supposed to spread the Good News about Christ and forgiveness:

Isaiah 52:7 How lovely on the mountains Are the feet of him who brings good news, Who announces peace And brings good news of happiness, Who announces salvation..

Ezekiel 3:18 When I say to the wicked, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand.

Matthew 28:19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations..

Mark 16:15 .."Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.

Acts 1:8 but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth."

1 Corinthians 9:16 For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for I am under compulsion; for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel.  For if I do this voluntarily, I have a reward; but if against my will, I have a stewardship entrusted to me.

How are people supposed to hear the Good News if we don't tell them?  And how scary is Ezekiel 3:18 that says if we don't tell them and they die in their sin, their blood will be on our hands?  BUT IT ALL HAS TO BE DONE IN LOVE, THE EVANGELIZING, THE CONFRONTATION OF FELLOW BELIEVERS, OR ELSE IT IS IN COMPLETE AND UTTER VAIN!  Useless in God's eyes.

Yes, it is also important that you walk the walk, but not primarily so it will draw others to Christ - it's primarily because Christ shed His blood and we should feel compelled to obey His commands perfectly (although that is impossible, we can still try).  I think God's commandments can't be kept on our human level, we need divine help through prayer.

But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved, and like the guy you said came into your workplace and started screaming at you about God - those are the people who give true, genuine Christians a bad name.  It's so unfortunate but it is what it is.

lol.  Yeah, I heard that little speech.  She is an idiot.

Actually, we are not suppose to judge anyone. 

Matthew 7:1 says "Judge not, lest ye be judged"     and

Matthew 7:5 says "get the beam out of your own eye before you worry about the spec in your brothers"    and

Luke 6:42 and Luke 7:3 also talks about worrying about yourself and not someone else.

I disagree with you saying 90% of the people who claim to be a Christian are really not saved.  I do agree that there are a LOT of people who show up for church every Sunday and act like everything is okay but I think deep down they know they really are not saved.  Either way, that is not for me to judge.  I don't have a right to say "well yeah you come to church but I don't think you are really saved".  I am sure there are people who look at me and say the same thing.  It does not matter what other "people" think about me.  It only matters what God thinks.  I totally get what you are saying but at the same time I know I am saved but everything I do and say it not about God.  It's the same with most people.  And if you have a job there is a 99% change you are not allowed to talk to customers about God.  I had a job once where when I was hired I was told "I know you are a Christian, the others working here are not, so keep it to yourself".  I was young, I should have demanded they keep their cursing and wicked ways to themselves.

We see people we are in close contact with different than others because we see what they don't.  All "we" know is what you have said on here and without seeing how your husband acts and lives it is hard to say and again not my place to judge him.

Here is a thought, have you ever just flat out asked him "hey "his name" if you died tonight do you know for sure that you are going to Heaven"  Or something along those lines.  I dated a guy eons ago and I thought he was saved.  He actually went up in front of the church and went thru the motions of "getting saved".   I can't remember if this conversation was before or after that but we were talking about people and dating and I told him he was the first guy I had dated that was a Christian.  And he said something , looked really weird and stuttered around.  I said "you are saved right" and he said no he wasn't.  I think this was before because right after that is when he went down at the alter call.  Anyway, we ended up breaking up because he was getting drunk and I was NOT going to put up with that.  When we broke up one of the things he yelled at me was how he had done all this stuff to try to make me happy.  I have done this, done this, I tried getting saved, I done this....  And I was like "WHAT?  You "TRIED" getting saved?  What does that mean?  You just went up for me???  Anyway, he just got mad.  And he never came back to church.

Idk about your husband but I do know guys will lie and do whatever or say whatever to keep a girl around if he wants her around. lol.

Asking him what I said is about all you can do.  But like I said just because everything he talks about or does is not all about God does not mean he is not saved.

[BK_Adores_Chase]

I also agree with some of the other responses here that religion is a private thing, and it doesn't necessarily have to be shared in a couple. What's of more concern is that it seems to be causing friction. My advice would be to talk to him openly about what he thinks, expressing your support of him. Listen to what he has to say. It may really help in this situation.

Religion should be shared in a marriage:  2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

That's just one verse I thought I'd post quickly!

[countrygirl12]

But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved

And you know this how?

They've actually done a country wide study and 89% of Americans called themselves Christians but when answering questions to determine if they were born again vs. attached the name Christian to themselves, I think it was 10% or less who passed the test.  I don't have time to look it up, I'll see if I can find the exact numbers and post them on here.

Questions that determine if you are born again? lol.  The only thing that determines that is if you have asked Christ into your heart.  No survey can determine a person's heart.

[JediJohnnie]

lol.  Yeah, I heard that little speech.  She is an idiot.

Actually, we are not suppose to judge anyone. 

Matthew 7:1 says "Judge not, lest ye be judged"     and

Matthew 7:5 says "get the beam out of your own eye before you worry about the spec in your brothers"    and

Luke 6:42 and Luke 7:3 also talks about worrying about yourself and not someone else.

So,you don't believe we're allowed to judge one another,yet you've Judged her to be an idiot.Anyone else see the irony?

[BK_Adores_Chase]

But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved

And you know this how?

They've actually done a country wide study and 89% of Americans called themselves Christians but when answering questions to determine if they were born again vs. attached the name Christian to themselves, I think it was 10% or less who passed the test.  I don't have time to look it up, I'll see if I can find the exact numbers and post them on here.

Questions that determine if you are born again? lol.  The only thing that determines that is if you have asked Christ into your heart.  No survey can determine a person's heart.

The Bible says again and again we are dead in our trespasses:

Ephesians 2:1 And you were dead in your trespasses and sins..

Ephesians 2:5 even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)..

Colossians 2:13 When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions..

How can we accept something when we are dead?  We can't, we need a revival.  Yes, there are questions to determine if you're born again - if you think you need faith + good works to get to heaven, for example, that's not putting your faith and trust in Christ alone and therefore you are NOT going to heaven.

There are a lot of things that you don't have to get right to get to heaven, but there are some things that if you miss - forget it, it's done, you're not going to heaven.  The Catholics believe in faith + good works.  What about when Jesus said on the cross, "It is finished"?  I could go on all day about this.




And I want you to read 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 in regards to judging fellow believers:

9 I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; 10 I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. 11 But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler-- not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.

[BK_Adores_Chase]

lol.  Yeah, I heard that little speech.  She is an idiot.

Actually, we are not suppose to judge anyone. 

Matthew 7:1 says "Judge not, lest ye be judged"     and

Matthew 7:5 says "get the beam out of your own eye before you worry about the spec in your brothers"    and

Luke 6:42 and Luke 7:3 also talks about worrying about yourself and not someone else.

So,you don't believe we're allowed to judge one another,yet you've Judged her to be an idiot.Anyone else see the irony?

THANK YOU, my pastor literally said that same exact thing last night.

[hawkeye3210]

But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved

And you know this how?

They've actually done a country wide study and 89% of Americans called themselves Christians but when answering questions to determine if they were born again vs. attached the name Christian to themselves, I think it was 10% or less who passed the test.  I don't have time to look it up, I'll see if I can find the exact numbers and post them on here.

In other words, someone wrote questions so that they can “judge” who has been “saved” or not. I don’t believe that man has the ability to do that.

James 4:12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?

if you think you need faith + good works to get to heaven, for example, that's not putting your faith and trust in Christ alone and therefore you are NOT going to heaven.

There are a lot of things that you don't have to get right to get to heaven, but there are some things that if you miss - forget it, it's done, you're not going to heaven.  The Catholics believe in faith + good works.  What about when Jesus said on the cross, "It is finished"?  I could go on all day about this.

This sounds more like a grudge against the Catholic faith than anything, which likely stems from confusion on the role of good works play in salvation. I’m not Catholic, so no need for a good works debate, but Jesus does bring them up in the book of Matthew.

Matthew 7:21-23 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

[JediJohnnie]

I think the concept of Judging people in the Bible is pretty clear.If someone is doing something clearly outside the Christian lifestyle (1 Corinthians 5 for example) you have the right to say it's wrong and that the person is not living by God's Word.

I think it's wrong to judge people as not being Saved over trivial things.I'm fairly conservative,myself.But for example,I listen to Rock music and there are some who act like all Rock music is "The Devil's Music".It's a case of judging hypocritically. Because I never listen to any music that glorifies Hell,the Devil and so forth.Not all Rock is inappropriate,though some is.

So it's really a case of not picking away at people and not trying to impose your standard for being Saved on them.

[bigfoot951]

I think guys are often someone they aren't in order to impress a woman.  One big reason for the divorce rate.  People may not agree with my view on religion but I certainly don't want to end up with a woman who doesn't know where I stand.  It wouldn't be fair to either of us.

[linderlizzie]

Just a little advice and I hope you read this.  Sometimes we can win someone over with out a word.  The scriptures state that.  This is what I believe it to mean that by your faith and actions he will see how much you believe and after a while he will notice that your faith means the world to you and you never know he might come around rather than you preaching to him all the time. Let him see you as a christian woman and he will come around and he will appreciate you so much more.  Now I am not saying not to talk about God just not so much other wise he might feel you are pushing him.

Good advice, Blondie71. This is precisely what I was going to say. Now that BK_Loves_Chase and her significant other are joined together in the sight of God, she can be a light to him. She can pray for him. She can speak about God to him when he's open to it.

Finding another Christian woman to talk to about this would be a great help to her as well, I'm sure. Perhaps there is an older woman in her church who would be willing to be her mentor for a time.

Above all, BK_Loves_Chase, stay married.

[hitch0403]

The world became very wicked in Noahs day.To the point God told Noah to preach to the world and salvation was only to come getting on the ark.We know the result from the bible.Noahs family survived while the rest of mankind perished.

Jesus said that the same would be true in our day. For well over one hundred years, Jehovah’s Witnesses have sounded the warning that Jehovah will take drastic steps to fulfill his promise to establish a new world of righteousness. Though millions have responded positively, billions of earth’s inhabitants take no note. “According to their wish,” they ignore the reality and the significance of the Flood.—2 Peter 3:5, 13.
Noah, however, did take note. He believed what Jehovah God told him. That obedience led to his salvation. The apostle Paul wrote: “By faith Noah, after being given divine warning of things not yet beheld, showed godly fear and constructed an ark for the saving of his household.”—Hebrews 11:7.

Ponder this before you say you are saved!

[BK_Adores_Chase]

But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved

And you know this how?

They've actually done a country wide study and 89% of Americans called themselves Christians but when answering questions to determine if they were born again vs. attached the name Christian to themselves, I think it was 10% or less who passed the test.  I don't have time to look it up, I'll see if I can find the exact numbers and post them on here.

In other words, someone wrote questions so that they can “judge” who has been “saved” or not. I don’t believe that man has the ability to do that.

James 4:12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?

if you think you need faith + good works to get to heaven, for example, that's not putting your faith and trust in Christ alone and therefore you are NOT going to heaven.

There are a lot of things that you don't have to get right to get to heaven, but there are some things that if you miss - forget it, it's done, you're not going to heaven.  The Catholics believe in faith + good works.  What about when Jesus said on the cross, "It is finished"?  I could go on all day about this.

This sounds more like a grudge against the Catholic faith than anything, which likely stems from confusion on the role of good works play in salvation. I’m not Catholic, so no need for a good works debate, but Jesus does bring them up in the book of Matthew.

Matthew 7:21-23 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

Once again, read 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 in regards to judging fellow believers:

9 I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; 10 I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. 11 But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler-- not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.

I believe there are certainly questions you can ask to determine if someone is saved.

If you are a professing believer who says good works get you into heaven or denies the deity of Christ or denies the Trinity or doesn't believe Christ rose from the dead, you're going to Hell.  Those are orthodox beliefs.

I believe good works do not have any play in salvation, I believe they are a result of salvation.

In reference to James 4:12, 4:11 right before that refers to slander.  This isn't forbidding confronting fellow believers who sin, which is commanded all throughout scripture (Mt 18:15-17; Ac 20:31; 1Co 4:14; Col 1:28; Ti 1:13; 2:15; 3:10).  Here it is referring to believers throwing careless, derogatory, critical, slanderous accusations at one another. (ref. Dr. John MacArthur)

When you judge, as with all things, you judge with love.