Do you think this is cheating?

[djohnson43]

If you broke up with X you were broken up and you can see anyone you want. But obviously you and X were meant to be together and it just took breaking up for you to figure that out. He needs to let it lay and not say anything.

[kqa]

I would reconsider staying with X. You left for a reason and now he is hammering you about what you did in your own time. Find someone who respects and trusts you.

[rdy2pl8]

No, it doesn't count as cheating, because the two of you were not together. Both of you should talk about why you broke up in the first place, and try to work through that.

[ricdsm]

Sounds awful complicated.  Perhaps you should look for another letter.

[huskylover895]

no you are not cheating now if x mentions it and x gets a rise out of you that could be why he keeps bringing it up next time try not reacting you could say yes that happened its over and in the past lets change the subject or come at it with a very assertive approach like i feel hurt and annoyed every time you bring up Y can we not talk about it

[vp44]

I was with X for a year and a half, but I broke up with him for Y. I had relations with Y, realized he was not my type, and broke up with Y. Then I went back to X, told him I had relations with Y and X took me back happily, saying that he would never bring up what I did with Y. It has been a month since he took me back, and he brings up what I did with Y every. single. day. He's made me apologize hundreds of times and even made me admit that what I did was cheating. I don't think it was cheating at all because I was not with X at the time. What do you think?

Well now you know that X is not accepting as he said. Put yourself in X place and figure it out if you would be accepting of this.....  Sometimes you just can't go back.

[tfw6693]

  What you did is a problem for the one who said it didn't matter. Time to move on. 

[Tresbn00]

I don't think that it was cheating because you clearly weren't with X at the time. Many people would say that X needs to forgive and forget but I don't think that is possible. You broke up with X for a reason...stick to your guns.  There are over three hundred million people in the United States alone...I think that your options are wide open.  There is bound to be someone out there that is your perfect match, you can be happy with, and will keep you from following passing fancies. Why narrow your self down to just X? Life is too short to commit to someone that is incompatible and is unable to forgive and forget.

[alice44]

Don't stay with anyone who treats you like that.  You deserve better.

[tjshorty]

No, it not.  Seems to be a problem there any way.  Good luck with that.

[anitaraemillspalmer]

I was with X for a year and a half, but I broke up with him for Y. I had relations with Y, realized he was not my type, and broke up with Y. Then I went back to X, told him I had relations with Y and X took me back happily, saying that he would never bring up what I did with Y. It has been a month since he took me back, and he brings up what I did with Y every. single. day. He's made me apologize hundreds of times and even made me admit that what I did was cheating. I don't think it was cheating at all because I was not with X at the time. What do you think?

If you were 100% not seeing X at the time you were seeing Y...then no you didn't cheat...remind X that if he truly wants your relationship to move forward then you can't live backwards 

[autumnsparklemom]

No. But it is always double standards as far as females go. Look at what he/she is doing to you now. You deserve better. Consider why you left X in the first place?

[madeara]

Dear Hollister,
No, it was not cheating.  I hope X lets it go.  You were right to be honest with him.  X holding a grudge is no way to solve the situation.

[cathy37]

If you were broke up and started seeing someone new, that is not cheating.  If he told you he would not bring it up, then he should not keep bringing up the subject.  That is just wrong.

[sharonpatri55]

My suggestion is to drop Y, forget about X and find a brand new letter that will make you happy.