What to do with an angry adult kid with a family

[moonangel]

my friends kid her daughter has decided that she absolutely hates her mother and texted her some very very harsh words even going so far as to say the her mom absolutely never done anything for her ever.. I have been great friends with this woman and her husband for over 20 years we live nest door to them  yes over the years like most families they couldn't afford just everything but they done their best for her and now all she wants to do is have her mom babysit all the time and here lately her mom has had some health issues starting about 4 months ago Her dad has no idea what is going on with the daughter she is 27 she has 4 kids  one is her husbands kid the kids range in age from 13 to 2 his mother passed away several years ago My neighbor showed me the texts from her kid and she said some pretty harsh things to her mom and her mom did not deserve this kind of treatment I have no idea what to say to my friend she of course is very upset she told her mom in the text of course that she will be changing her phone number and to never contact her again

[kimber62372]

Sounds to me the daughter is ungrateful and is overloaded with responsibilities that she thinks it's her mothers duty to help her out. She is spoiled and needs to grow up. Unfortunately I too was that "daughter" but realized that your mother is the most important human being to you in life! I grew up but took me a while and it just hit me in my 30's. The daughter will most likely need her mother once again, so just tell your friend to show her some tough love like my mother gave me. It's a taste of our own medicine!

[Timberlan127]

It sounds like a very sad situation. The saddest part of all is that I know of a few "children " that age that are the same way. Their parents have done everything for them and the children seem to think that they should continue to do so for the rest of their lives. They should bring up their grandchildren with out complaint and see that their children get everything they need. What has happened to this generation? I think the problem is too much was done for them.

[jmccaskill]

It is no concern of yours. I would stay out of it in every way possible and let these people deal with it on their own. Nothing you can or should do.

[candycane4009]

My son at 18 moved away and was every angry , it took him 3 small baby to be daddy and now at 26 he came home dec 15, 2013 told me he was sorry and sound he loved me ..I told him long ago when your a daddy you will understand what your mom told you..

[Penwoir]

Yes that does sound very harsh indeed. All of us go through a phase when we are in our teens where we think our parents are unhelpful, unco-operative and don't understand us. But usually when we get into our twenties we reach a point, especially if we've had kids of our own, that life doesn't revolve around us and that we should get over ourselves. It sounds like your friends' daughter has never reached that point. Perhaps if she had children of her own when she was very young, she feels like she never even had the time to grow up herself. Maybe she feels her childhood was stolen. Whilst that's not very nice, it doesn't give her the right to say such nasty things to her mum. I would say to your neighbor that you are there for her and that if they're anything you can do, she should let you know. Sometimes just to talk about it helps.

[moon29]

my sister in law is going through something similar with her 20 year old son.  he was always a great kid who loved his parents and treated his mother with respect however he started going out with this new girl and ever since he thinks that he is so much better then his family.  he has actually been banned on Facebook for being so rude and disrespectful to his mother.  theres just no talking to him.  that sad thing is that one of these days he will come to his senses and realize how many mistakes he has made but by that time it will be too late.

[davidh121]

I'm sorry to hear. I do not know all the circumstances, but there are some children who are just ungrateful.  I do the best for my daughter and she is very loving, but there are times we do have disagreements too.  I just hope she will never forget or hate me.

[tantricia44]

I don't know what the situation is but depending on the issue we can't judge what is going through that adult child's mind. 1. It could be a just falling out due to something silly or stupid & time can only heal it.2. If she knows that her mom is ill maybe she's just scared that her mom will die too as she already lost his father. 3. If she knows but continues to heat her mom for what ever she'll feel really bad if her mom dies without resolving the blow out fight. 4. Stay out of you friends problem but give her one advice that really works. Don't change your phone information just ignore anything her daughter does & don't show anything of feeling toward kid. Ignoring always gets kids mad or upset. 

[countrygirl12]

Sounds like this brat needs her face smacked.  Why issue having her mom babysit if she intends on changing her phone number and never speaking to her mother again.  Also sounds like there is more to this.  Is there something she asked for that her mother said NO to?  She should tell her husband what is going on.  He needs to know.  Maybe they can make the cut first.  Next time she wants a free baby sitter tell her uh no sorry we are busy.

[ro901]

sorry. it's just too hard for me to read a whole paragraph with one sentence.

[vickysue]

I was that way with my real father and he passed away before we could get back together and i will forever wish i had been a stronger person and took the first step. All i could do is make sure he had  a good send off, although i am not of the best of friends with my stepmother i do love all my half siblings and would do anything for them. 

[tuyetmai]

I think she need to do something about it.  Kid this day are ungrateful of what they have.  Just take away what they want most until she or he behave.