Determining Credibility of Online Friends- Modified to Include Original Comment

[minervaspirit]

Short of becoming a complete skeptic, how does one determine the credibility of people they meet online?  What clues would there be early on?
I was reluctant initially to include the following but am more comfortable now having been reassured it is not that unusua.l So I will add what I originally wrote:

Has anybody ever been involved in an online relationship that lasted for years?  Sorry to say I was.  At first it was fun and I became very attached.  He was very attractive and sweet and clever and I was quite vulnerable and naive (and gullible) and I found myself doing and saying things that were wayyyyy out of character.  I knew from the beginning it wasn't ever going to go anywhere.   We both had other commitments and there were other factors as well. We came close to getting together once last summer but it  turned out I sabotaged it subconsciously.  I finally realized it was all a facade and he was pretty much a loser and a liar.  But it's taking some regular therapy for me to get my head back on straight because I was head over heels for awhile.  Interesting period in my life.  But I feel foolish for having been so gullible.  Please tell me I'm not alone for having been so stupid.

[kimber62372]

No...you are definitely NOT alone! I too fell for fake-internet-obsessive-stalkers! I finally married one!!  But hey...I was myself the whole time and he finally realized I was this sincere and real chick! Do not let anyone make you feel indifferent. Just be yourself and you will attract a semi-normal person! lol...I mean, everyone I met online were a little weird, even  my husband but we managed to make it work...13 yrs & one son later! 

[sherryinutah]

I think it is important to be cautious; especially, if you're using dating websites and looking for a potential partner.  I think it's important to TAKE YOUR TIME and not rush into anything.  Remember that if someone tries to rush or manipulate you...that's a big red flag.  I used to have profiles on dating sites but I don't anymore.  When I met someone for the first time I would meet them in a public place for a conversation where I could have eye contact with them.  I believe in being completely honest with people and I expect honesty from them.  If I can't have that...I tell them that I'm no longer interested because I'm on a completely different page than they are.  I should also mention that I'm very selective about who I choose to be friends with.

 

[minioncookies]

  There is no set way to determine one's credability online due to lack or resources and shady information. Any information you recieve could possibly be contaminated information.(meaning not truthful or false information). Beware of people who try to get any information out of you as those are the ones you want to stay clear of.  When using the internet you must remember one Golden Rule Never give out any personal information. The Golden Rule Keeps you safe. When Developing Relationships Online Keep it Basic and simple. If you must meet the said person Always Meet in a crowded area. Anyone not willing to meet in a public place i wouldn't reccomend meeting. Also upon development of friendship If  asked for information to send gifts/suprises  i would reccomend getting a p.o box. No Friendship is worth Your Safety.Be careful and stay safe!

[countrygirl12]

Short of becoming a complete skeptic, how does one determine the credibility of people they meet online?  What clues would there be early on?

It's tough because people can be anything they want to online.   If you know their real name you can google their name and home town and stuff like that and find out quite a bit.  Which if you think somebody is lying to you I see no issues with that.  If you view their facebook you can get a good idea too.  If you pay attention people who are lying will tell you things different ways.  You may not remember all the lies you tell but you can bet the person you are talking to will remember if you told the life background different the last 6 times you told it. lol  I had that happen to me.  I am like gee you need to write this stuff down!

[linsanna]

You are better off meeting someone in person for sure! Forget meeting anyone online, you never
know who is really on the other end of the computer.

[melissajh44]

I agree with taking your time. Sometimes people reveal themselves as frauds on their own.

[loulizlee]

I am an older person and have never been on a dating site, but I have several friends who I have never met but in whom I can say I have a modicum of trust.  These are people I have met through such sites as Ancestry.com, survey sites, and prayer groups.  I have corresponded with several people on Facebook for some time, and I feel I can tell most of the time if they are telling the truth. 

[teenangel]

Use your judgement, if it doesn't sound right don't become that persons friend.

[thtrngng]

I do not know how you can determine the credibility of an online friend. there is no way possible for you to put to much in a relationship with someone you met online.

[demaina]

I always am protective of my personal information, but I will share the generics with people.  I may tell them about my day that I went to the store or something, but I don't share things like where the store is or my location or my name.

If you do that for a while and they can't deal with it, I wouldn't bother with them any more cause I wasn't comfortable.  However, if you've talked to this person for a while and they don't seem to be changing overall, then you may want to trust them a bit more, but I still would be a bit cautious with sharing personal things.

[ErinCarter]

I agree I am skeptical...However I stick to the "if it sounds to good to be true then it is" or if someone is not willing to video chat then there is something they are hiding. But nowadays you have to be careful regardless if it is online or in person.

[countrygirl12]

Short of becoming a complete skeptic, how does one determine the credibility of people they meet online?  What clues would there be early on?
I was reluctant initially to include the following but am more comfortable now having been reassured it is not that unusua.l So I will add what I originally wrote:

Has anybody ever been involved in an online relationship that lasted for years?  Sorry to say I was.  At first it was fun and I became very attached.  He was very attractive and sweet and clever and I was quite vulnerable and naive (and gullible) and I found myself doing and saying things that were wayyyyy out of character.  I knew from the beginning it wasn't ever going to go anywhere.   We both had other commitments and there were other factors as well. We came close to getting together once last summer but it  turned out I sabotaged it subconsciously.  I finally realized it was all a facade and he was pretty much a loser and a liar.  But it's taking some regular therapy for me to get my head back on straight because I was head over heels for awhile.  Interesting period in my life.  But I feel foolish for having been so gullible.  Please tell me I'm not alone for having been so stupid.

The additional info makes a huge difference here. lol.  uh No.  You aren't alone.  There isn't a woman alive who hasn't been sucked into something similar by a man.  Or done things they regret or feel stupid for falling for.  I have been in a similar situation although it didn't last that long.  But I got to noticing huge differences in his stories.  Then he started telling other people things we had talked about and things about me and eventually threatened me if I wouldn't sleep with him.  I didn't and he didn't back up the threats.  He lives about an hour from me and I had actually met him.  I still say I am stupid for ever getting into that mess.  So, nope, you aren't alone.

[countrygirl12]

I always am protective of my personal information, but I will share the generics with people.  I may tell them about my day that I went to the store or something, but I don't share things like where the store is or my location or my name.

If you do that for a while and they can't deal with it, I wouldn't bother with them any more cause I wasn't comfortable.  However, if you've talked to this person for a while and they don't seem to be changing overall, then you may want to trust them a bit more, but I still would be a bit cautious with sharing personal things.

Even sharing generics you can actually reveal enough that someone can find out who you are or find you.  Had that happen to me.  He knew my first name and how old I was and general stuff I didn't think about and he sent me an email one night with my full name and address.  I about fell in the floor.

[bhiett]

I have known people whose online relationships were very successful but I would recommend that you be extremely cautious.  Anyone can make themselves sound great when writing because they can edit what they write and even "pilfer" from the writings of other people to enhance their image and make themselves seem much more interesting.  Then there is the safety factor.  There are a lot of horror stories out there about people who have become victimized through online relationships.  You never know for sure if the other person is giving his real name, but it never hurts to check it out on the sex offender database online.