Is it ok to lie?

[Nancy5]

Let me know what you guys think.  My girlfriend just spent about $10,000.00 for a complete kitchen make over.  I went with another friend to see the completed project.  My friend was so happy and proud of the kitchen.  Granted, it's not the color of countertop I would have picked, it has a pink cast to it.  The other friend told her 'I don't like the color, what the hell where you thinking?'  My friend was crushed, as I would be.  I told her I liked it, even though I didn't.  If she would have asked me before she bought it, I would have told her the truth, but after it's bought and installed, why hurt her.  What do you think?

[Mikena]

Let me know what you guys think.  My girlfriend just spent about $10,000.00 for a complete kitchen make over.  I went with another friend to see the completed project.  My friend was so happy and proud of the kitchen.  Granted, it's not the color of countertop I would have picked, it has a pink cast to it.  The other friend told her 'I don't like the color, what the hell where you thinking?'  My friend was crushed, as I would be.  I told her I liked it, even though I didn't.  If she would have asked me before she bought it, I would have told her the truth, but after it's bought and installed, why hurt her.  What do you think?

I think that you are a true friend. If she is happy with the results why should you hurt her feelings; after all you don't have to live with it. Now it is alittle too late, she has the kitchen finished. I have learned that sometimes it is better to bite your tongue rather than say what you may actually feel especially if it involves the feelings of another person. Part of a good friendship is not always seeing things the same way but still loving the other person for being whom they are.

[Nancy5]

Thank you Mikena, I didn't want to hurt her feelings as I knew she was happy and loved her choice.  My saying I didn't like it would serve no purpose as it was in and she loved it.

[paints]

it's not the color of countertop I would have picked

True, but then, it's not your kitchen.
If your friend is happy with it, allow her happiness by not voicing criticism.
Find something about it that you DO like, and compliment that.

[Nancy5]

paints, I did tell her I liked it, I would never hurt her feelings.  It was not what I would have choose, but I was not going to tell her.  It was her OTHER friend who criticized the counter top, not me.

[skrogman]

Yep, I probably would have said something along the lines of "Well, I am glad you can be cozy in your new kitchen, but it's not something I would have chosen."  But if it suits her functionally and her personality then I am happy for her.  I only say that because my house is decorated in tigers.  I love them.  They are a very regal animal.  And, yes, I love them so much and have them everywhere even to the point that if I could find tiger striped countertops, yep, I would do it!

[rghvac69]

I think it's OK to lie to avoid an argument or spare hurt feelings.

[samrhett2]

I think you did the right thing.  There was nothing to be gained by telling the truth.  The truth is, you are happy with it, if she is happy with it.  I think that hurting people for the sake of being honest when it really doesn't matter is just bad manners.  Now if her husband was cheating and she asked you about that and you lied, I would say you are not doing the right thing because that is information that it is in her best interest to know, but the truth that the other person gave her had no value other than to hurt.

[batmobile]

no... but you could keep your mouth shut if you need too

[msmoneybags48]

There is a saying, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."  In this case, I give you kudos for not hurting your friend's feelings.  You allowed her to be happy about her choice.  While you wouldn't have chosen the color pink for your counter top, she spent $10K for the remodeling of her kitchen.  You were right to let her be happy.  Her other friend figured she could be honest about her dislike of the kitchen, but she hurt her feelings.  If my friend spent $10K on her kitchen, I would lie too.  After all, she has to live with her choice, so it doesn't matter whether it is liked or not.

[tangeladeyoun]

You did the right thing. since sh edoes love it and has to live with it. She probably knows deep down you don't really care for it. But she will get over it. Then her friend shouldn't been trying to spark trouble. She shouldn't be telling her that you don't like it. Its none of her business and if it was that important that you liked it. She would ve taken you with her or had gotten your opinion in the beginning of the project before it was final.

You did the best you could and it was the right thing. Sometimes people ask questions they don't really want the answer to.

[am28slone]

I think you should have focused on what you did like and brag about it. There were other things about her kitchen that you did like and I would have highlighted on that. I also believe that true friends understand you no matter what.

[Kirenisa]

I would've said how I felt I mean if she likes it great but doesn't mean I'll agree, but if you want to tell a white lie like that I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

[florezitta10]

I don't know maybe just keep it to your self and you won't have to lie lol

[sarabtrayior]

You did the right thing... why hurt her feeling, you could say I would have done it this way (or another) but your way it right for YOU!!!