About children's and these days technology and devices

[cashrose]

Hello everyone! I just wanted hear anyone comments on parenting! I have 3 girls age 11,9,7 and 8years old boy.
Just said that they are well behave every time we went out in public, which is very good. But when we're home
they all will stare down on the iPad all the way, and if you don't call out they won't take a break staring on that
iPad. On last Friday they came back from school and I told them that I wanted them to get in the shower and shampoo their hairs, they didn't do it and Saturday I told them again, shampoo hair make it smell good so I could
fix them up, couple times like three times I told them they didn't do it but spending their times in their rooms
and play games on their iPads,kindle. Sunday I told them again during noon to get in the shower and shampoo their hair. Yet still on those devices. So in the last minutes that I had no time to do their hair they went shampoo
and took shower. Now I didin't have time to fix their hair in the morning cuz I have to make their lunch box for school. I didn't buy these devices to them. Their father like buying things for them which is good. But is it good
for parents?  It making hard for parenting, don't y'all think that too? Before they didn't have theses devices they
listened very good and they did what I asked them to do. But these days, they listen when they wanted to. Or do if they wanted to do! And if i don't fix up their hair very good who got those blames? Me offcourse. Isn't it painful when your husband telling you that you are lazy to fix your kids hair, when you knew that you told them many times to go shampoo their hairs so you can fix them up? Is he talking against me cuz he's the only one bringing in
money for this family? You he is making every thing to be easy for these kids but what he doesn't know he is making very hard for me to decipline my kids. It really hurt my feeling. We just got arguing about hair so I told him why could't he fix up his daughter hair if he know how? 

[kingozzy]

Its very hard to get them off of their machines, but once they get used to the idea of doing things together as a family it gets better

[lvstephanie]

If they don't listen to you and rather continue to play on an iPad, take the device away. Maybe even lock it away for a few days as punishment for not listening to you. Make them understand that the devices are a privilege that they get to use when they are behaving themselves. And make sure that you and their father are on the same page, so that if you take away the devices and they go crying to dad, he'll respond by saying that they can get them back after they do as they're told. You could also let them play with these devices as an incentive for doing their chores. They are all old enough to understand about work and compensation; if they do work / chores, they get "paid" either with spending money or with time on the iPad. If they learn this lesson, they may actually try to earn more time by doing extra housework. Maybe your eldest daughter can help with the lunches in the morning to allow you to spend more time monitoring the younger ones as they get ready for school.

[PGS28]

Them not getting off the devices when you want them to has more to do with a lack of respect of authority than their love for the items.  I have daughters who LOVE their mp3 players, nook, ipad, etc. but I set a limit for the amount of time they can be on it and my word is law. I also randomly check their histories right in front of them to make sure they aren't looking/listening to anything appropriate and I always say "it's not that I don't trust you, it's just my job as a parent to stay informed on the kind of things you are being exposed to" and they completely understand. You say they're good kids so I believe they are, but definitely don't take it lightly that you feel your control over their devices is slipping away. 

[ancmetro]

    There is no way to stop these kids from using electronics. For some of them, the keyboard and the mouse are too big for their fingertips. Companies  should build big screens with small keyboards and mouses for them.

[BlackSheepNY]

cashrose, if your kids aren't paying attention to you and doing the things you tell them to do, there's a simple solution.  Walk right in their rooms and TAKE the iPads/Kindles AWAY until they DO listen to you.  Just let them all know they'll get their toys back when they get done doing what has to be done.  It's true, the kids get "involved" on all the new technology and lose track of time.  It's up to you to make them pay attention.

[lywb2168]

If you have to repeat yourself more than twice, then take away the offending item.  They will learn the lesson pretty quick believe me.  About a year ago, I had an incident with my then 13 years old daughter, I embarrassed her so bad that now she pays attention to what and when I say something.  My daughter had the bad habit of calling me to go get her from school/friends/movies, etc. and when I get there still had to wait 15 to 20 minutes for her to come out.  Well, so happens that the day of the incident, she had an appoint to get an MRI, they had given me the appointment at 8:15 pm and she had called me asked me if she could wait for me at her friend's house, which I said yes to. Told her that I would pick her up at 7:30 for the appointment and she said OK.  Well before I left my house I called her, she did not answer, I did not know which was her friend's house, I knew the street,  so I am trying to find out the house number and she is not answering.  Called my oldest daughter, who knew where the friend lives and she tells me, I don't know the house number but is the one with the red door, well there are 5 houses with a red door (this are townhouses).  30 minutes later no luck finding the house, I knock on 2 red doors and of course they were the wrong ones.  My hubby and I kept calling and texting her phone without any luck.

Finally, I made my oldest come to the neighborhood (she was about 5 minutes away) and showed me the house.  When I knocked I was so mad that the first thing I did was start yelling in front of the other parent, my daughter was upset told me that I embarrassed her in front of her friend's mom.  Then had the chick to tell me that she did not answer because she did not want to be rude and have the phone at the dinner table.  Uh..she would not do that at my house, the phone is a permanent attachment of her hands.  So I told her that she did not want me to blow off again in front of friends and parents, she better listen to me and keep track of the time, that her phone is for me to be able to reached her whenever and not for her to be with her friends all day on it.

She has never made me wait again and better yet answers the phone at the second ring when I call, problem solved.

Take the device away if and when they don't listen to you and see if they will not like it, they will be more attentive to your words next time.  if they did not watch their hair on time and went to school looking like witches then it is their own fault.

[almorin]

It is so easy to tune everything out when you are using electronic devices.  I know that even as a parent I have problems.  But since I do use electronics so much my children also do.  Whether it is my teenage daughter and her MP3 player or my teenage son on his laptop computer.  Often times, we are off in our own little world and don't hear or pay attention with all that goes on around us.  It is a big problem for society as a whole.   

[ghunter]

If your children do not listen, take the devices away and I am sure they will start listening then.

[kimberlymgiles]

I have four daughters that are totally addicted to social media. It is hard to pull them away from their devices but I have found ways to distract their focus. We have started back going to the park together, and having family playtime.

[demaina]

If I ever did that when I was younger, I wouldn't have that device for a while.  This is more about respect then anything.  And believe me, if they don't respect you now, they won't when they are teens.  My aunt is dealing with a teen who wouldn't clean his room when asked and now she's having problems with him going off and not coming home for days.

Technology is great and all, but you should set limits if your kids don't limit themselves.  If you have the time, sit down with their dad and discuss this.  Possibly make a video of you asking the kids to do stuff so he can see what's going on if he doesn't believe that they kids aren't listening.

First, you both should figure out your game plan with the kids so you are both on the same page, then sit them all down and explain how the rules are going to change.  That way, they have fair warning and know what the consequences will be. 

Obviously, don't go overkill with these limits.  I know this one family who only lets their kids play video games for an hour a day.  They will go over to a party or something where everyone is playing Wii Tennis or something and yet her kids have to sit in the corner and read cause they already got their allotted hour.  Leave room for exceptions like family gatherings, parties, etc.  That or focus your limits to when they are home.

Also, if they aren't already, consider giving them some chores around the house.  Something that isn't hard but takes some time is good like collecting and sorting their laundry, emptying their trash can (assuming they aren't heavy), keeping their room clean, etc.  You could give them a small amount of money or maybe extra time on the devices for doing these chores.  That way, adulthood won't be such a shock and they will learn to manage time and/or money better.

Also, do some things as a family.  Family game night, movie night, or pizza night can be a way to keep you all together.  If they are old enough, ask them their opinions about things going on in the world, not just about how their day was at school.

[PGS28]

Amen!!!!!

cashrose, if your kids aren't paying attention to you and doing the things you tell them to do, there's a simple solution.  Walk right in their rooms and TAKE the iPads/Kindles AWAY until they DO listen to you.  Just let them all know they'll get their toys back when they get done doing what has to be done.  It's true, the kids get "involved" on all the new technology and lose track of time.  It's up to you to make them pay attention.

[vickysue]

set a time limit on them and then if they don't get up and do what  you want them too, take away all their toys. Yep they will throw a temper fit but oh well. They have to learn to respect you. After all you proably paid for them. As for having them at school.it should be a nono. Kids to learn that there are bounderies at home, school and at work.

[sak4kat]

I have 3 kids.  15, 13 & 6.  All 3 have rules about there techno gadgets...I'm a little laxed on the rules when school isn't in session but when it is.  I mean business.    my 15 year olds grandparents bought her an ipod touch when she was 13.  After having it for only a few months I packaged it up and mailed it back to her Grandmother and told her although it was a nice gesture it wasn't appropriate for a 13 year old...particularly without discussing it ahead of time with me.  My son has a wii.  He and his little sister play it more than anyone. 

Rules are as follows.  No wii or gadget after school until home work is done.  If homework is done by 6:00 my son can play the wii for an hour.  1 hour of his play is also with his little sister.  After dinner and showers if time allows he get's to play for 30 min.  Alone.  Lil sister is already in bed at that point.  15 year old girl is allowed to have her ipod...one hour at a time.  She's real good bout her homework and helping around the house I just don't want her becoming a zombie.

Kids don't listen - they don't get privileges.  Very simple.

[erinelise2]

The best thing about devices is that you can remove them. That ability gives you great leverage. When one of my kids loses the privilege they loose it for ALL their electronics.