TRUTH be TOLD...??? -jussathought-

[dokkbudd]

Is there ever a time when HONESTY should be sacrificed to spare ones "feelings"...?

[msmoneybags48]

It depends on the situation.  Sometimes telling the truth to a person can backfire big time.  If a woman asks you if she is fat, you want to say that she is; hopefully, she won't be too mad.  I had a situation where my ex-husband would not touch me.  I asked him flat out if there was something wrong with me; his response was that it was him and asked me what I would have said if he said there was something wrong with me.  I told him I would have wanted to know what the problem was.  I was tired of fixing my time to suit his anyway.  If a woman goes out and buys a dress and ask you, when she puts it on, how she looks, she is going to be pissed if you tell her she looks like a holy mess in it.  My husband bought a new suit for Father's Day with a bow tie.  I told him he looked handsome because he did.  He is used to wearing ties, so the bow tie was new.  Sometimes, telling the truth is good, and sometimes, it cannot be good.

[dokkbudd]

It depends on the situation.  Sometimes telling the truth to a person can backfire big time.  If a woman asks you if she is fat, you want to say that she is; hopefully, she won't be too mad.  I had a situation where my ex-husband would not touch me.  I asked him flat out if there was something wrong with me; his response was that it was him and asked me what I would have said if he said there was something wrong with me.  I told him I would have wanted to know what the problem was.  I was tired of fixing my time to suit his anyway.  If a woman goes out and buys a dress and ask you, when she puts it on, how she looks, she is going to be pissed if you tell her she looks like a holy mess in it.  My husband bought a new suit for Father's Day with a bow tie.  I told him he looked handsome because he did.  He is used to wearing ties, so the bow tie was new.  Sometimes, telling the truth is good, and sometimes, it cannot be good.

Interesting.... If a woman is asking for "my opinion" on her "looks"... and they're NOT preferable to ME... how does my 1 OPINION "upset her" as if I spoke undisputed facts...?

[waterbearer94]

thats a hard one, i think id have to know the situation

[timvolley]

I agree it really depends on the situation as to when to tell the truth. I believe for the most part telling the truth works for most people

[Nancy5]

It depends on the situation.  My best friend bought a home she loved, when I saw it for the first time I was not impressed.  She is not married, but my husband saw many things that were wrong, not major but costly, but she loved the home and had already bought it, had closing and it was a done deal.  So I lied and told her I loved the home, thought she had made a good deal, which she didn't, but why hurt her feeling?

[SherylsShado]

  I've always thought honesty is the best policy and I think the truth can be given in a way so as to not hurt someones feelings.  If feelings STILL get hurt then it's because they'd rather live in their cozy little world rather than face reality.

[BlackSheepNY]

I'm a stickler where honesty is concerned.  I would rather be told the truth, no matter how much it may hurt.  If someone could lie to you about something as simple as whether you look "nice" in a dress, what else are they hiding?  Being honest is just part of my moral background.  Lie to me just once and I will suspect EVERYTHING you do and say afterward.  "Trust and honesty" are major factors in a relationship and the relationship can never work without it.

[patti4me]

I believe the truth is usually the best thing but I know there have been times when I'd had to fudge on the truth to avoid hurting feelings.  I have a sister who always states she wants the truth about some new dress she's thinking about buying but I learned many years ago that if I tell her it doesn't look right on her she gets mad so I just find something good to say about the dress and play on that instead of directly answering the question.

[skrogman]

Yes, this is a hard one.  But, no, I would tactfully say what needs to be said and end the statement with something like, "Well, you asked".  If you don't want to hear the truth, don't ask.

[ernica96]

Yes and I've done so before but as stated it depends on the situation.

For example, my friend gets insecure every once in a while and always asks me if she's ugly.

She's not so I tell her she's not but even if she was, I'd tell her no. No sense in making someone feel worse about themselves especially if they're already feeling down.

[hawkeye3210]

A little white lie isn't the end of the world.

[hotcocoa]

I mostly go with "honesty is the best policy", but there are times a white lie is necessary to let someone down easily.  I don't like to be lied to, but my feelings can be very sensitive at times and I'd like to hear it "gently."

[BJohnsonPP]

If you're trying to avoid embarrassment or trying to "get over" on someone else, you're simply setting yourself up to produce lie after lie until you're crushed under a pile of them. That bit of embarrassment or whatever you're trying to avoid is such a small price to pay when considering the stress you'll put yourself through to keep a lie going and the disappointment and loss of trust of the people around you.

So, throwing a surprise party? A lie to keep that a secret is fine. A lie to keep an affair secret?  You can easily avoid big lies by not putting yourself in a position to have to tell that kind of lie in the first place.

[gaylasue]

I think it depends on the situation and the parties involved.  Sometimes a little "white lie" is needed to keep peace.....