KICK HIM TO THE CURB??????

[gayecat]

I'm a retired rehab nurse.  Strokes cause physical brain damage that will never heal.  Other compensatory methods can develop but this man will never be the same. Has he had rehab and neuro counseling? Take stock of how the siuatuation is now and decide.  I don't know how old you are but: 1. do you want children with this man?  bad idea for the kids. 2. what are YOUR life plans and would he fit into them as he is now.
It sounds like you feel a little guilty, but only you can live you life and it is yours - not his.   
I divorced a man who I loved dearly but he was an alcoholic who wouldn't stop drinking. It was not fair to me or my kids to drag us down with him. That was 20 years ago and we talk on the phone almost every day, but he is now not my problem but his own.

[mlainez]

the man sounds like he is miserable himself and therefore making you miserable. IF you truly and genuinely love him, you will endure, if not you will kick him to the curb.

[Kymberli0529]

I understand what Jester was saying but I also feel that not every relationship can be 'fixed'.  Sometimes, no matter how hard or how long you may work on it, a relationship just isn't meant to work.  I can relate to Gayecat's post..My father and mother were married for two years..two kids..house..etc.  My father was a raging alcoholic and would spend nearly his whole paycheck on booze.  Bills and mortgage payments came second as did mine and my brothers clothing, food, etc.  They tried to work through it.  He checked into rehab.  They went to therapy together and seperately.  My mother took me, bro was too little, to meetings while he was in hi AA.  Things just didn't work out so eventually she gave him an ultimatum..family or alcohol..he chose booze.  Somethings just can't be fixed. 

[jester2dr]

I understand what Jester was saying but I also feel that not every relationship can be 'fixed'.  Sometimes, no matter how hard or how long you may work on it, a relationship just isn't meant to work.  I can relate to Gayecat's post..My father and mother were married for two years..two kids..house..etc.  My father was a raging alcoholic and would spend nearly his whole paycheck on booze.  Bills and mortgage payments came second as did mine and my brothers clothing, food, etc.  They tried to work through it.  He checked into rehab.  They went to therapy together and seperately.  My mother took me, bro was too little, to meetings while he was in hi AA.  Things just didn't work out so eventually she gave him an ultimatum..family or alcohol..he chose booze.  Somethings just can't be fixed. 

i agree that a relationship can only be "fixed" IF both are willing to work at it.... but to give up at the onset of something difficult.... cheats you out of a chance to grow together..... maybe it wont work out..... but you have to try..... 

[cowgirlx]

Talk to him, if he really cares about you he will make the effort. ( it is a 2 way street).  If he still makes you miserable, at least you gave him a chance, and he will see it coming.  Good luck, either way it doesn't sound easy.

[rcbrad]

Daily life can be hard enough at times, but by adding these kinds of problems can really be just too much to deal with.
Life is too short to deal with a person who cannot or will not help himself/herself and make a strong effort.  It sounds like he may be depressed and needs help.  Depression and anger go hand in hand.

[sheliawheeler]

I did not get a chance to vote, but I would leave.  Life is too short to be unhappy with someone.  Enjoy the time you have left and try to be as happy as possible.

[delfonic22]

I agree that you should talk to him but, if he doesn't want to than you have to kick him to the curb because it shows how much respect there is. take care and best of luck with everything.

[discardedheart]

after reading all of the other responses, i don't really see that there's much left to be said.. i pretty much agree with:

I agree that you should talk to him but, if he doesn't want to than you have to kick him to the curb because it shows how much respect there is. take care and best of luck with everything.

if it's in your heart to try and work it out, sit him down for a long talk. and if you're ready to throw up your hands.. if you think it isn't worth the effort, leave
you can't make yourself miserable and unhappy for the benefit of someone else. that's completely unfair.

[nicholasbroo]

i would talk to him first!

[slim28]

i agree

[Phatkitty]

If you're asking for advice on a blog....your question is already answered.  You are just looking for absolution from annonimity.  Don't let guilt be the reason you stay.  Eventually that guilt will turn to hate.  Perhaps you don't want to leave with hatred in your heart.  Maybe absence will make HIS heart grow fonder.  The old addage is "you never miss your water until your well runs dry."  Sounds like your well IS dry and he got all the water.

[solomahn1]

Kick his azz to the curb ..why should you be punished for the rest of your relationship simply because he is a sourpuss.

[ybcorey]

 I do not waste time with men. If I believe he is a "loser" or mean in spirit. Then kick him to the curb. There are so many fish in the sea hunny. You can find a good man. It is just not your time. God has plans for all of us and when it your time to be in a relationship, you will. DO no force it. Relationships happen when you least expect them to come. MAybe you have to finish something more important  in your life first such paying off bills or settling old wounds, or finishing school. Life is wonderful. God does not give us anything we can not handle. Good luck. Kick him to the curb he abuses or emotional abuses. Call the police. Always use protection during sex. or birth control. There is so many ways not to get pregant now, it takes a stupid woman to get pregant. Or if she wants to trick a man into a baby. That is another story. OR if you do not want a baby . Do not have sex. Masturibate. Do you really want to put with b.s. from a man. Then have bABY BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO PROTECTION. sTUPID. nEXT THING YOU KNOW YOUR ON THE jERRY SPRINGER SHOW. OR MAURY. bAD NEWS. tAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK. tHERE IS NO REASON A MAN SHOULD WASTE A WOMAN'S OR REAL LADY'S TIME. kick HIM TO THE CURB.


lOVE YOUR SELF FIRST.

[tweeetybird]

I hope you left him.