KICK HIM TO THE CURB??????

[unojuno]

I HAVE BEEN WITH MY GUY FOR GOING ON FIVE YEARS.  2 YEARS AGO HE HAD A STROKE AND RECOVERED QUICKLY AND COMPLETELY--EXCEPT FOR HIS ATTITUDE.  NOW HE IS MEAN SPIRITED, COMPLAINS ABOUT EVERYTHING, AND IS NEVER SATISFIED WITH ANYTHING.  I WORRY ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF ANOTHER STROKE, BUT HE'S MAKING MY LIFE M-I-S-ER-A-B-L-E!!!  I AM STRESSED TO THE MAX.  WHAT TO DO?

[Wadeer123]

If you really love him you will stay with him.

[PMZ908]

well my dad died from  a  stroke on new years day 2005 he was only 54,and theres not  a day  that goes by were  me or my family miss him.  your lucky ur man is still alive, but  im not going  to tell  u  what to do, but  in ur case  u have only been  with  him  for 5  years and 2 of the years were after his stroke. if u love him stay, but if u fallout of love dont stay. i guess what im  try'n to say is that life sometimes life deals  u a shitty hand and your only choice is to fold or play it.  do u have a sure win or do  u bluff?? i  hope this helps. lots of love and good  luck

[kmhoehl]

yea that's rough. i can't tell ya what to do.. life can be pretty hard. just do what you think is best. is he making it so that you're not even yourself anymore? if so, maybe there's another fish out there in the sea for you. it's up to you. if he really loves you, and you really love him, maybe its just something that life and time will fix if it's meant to be.

[julius11]

I voted that you should leave.  Why?  Any days wasted on someone who makes you unhappy are years wasted.  If you are having issues, now, then its inevitable that you guys will eventually break up. And who knows it could be him leaving you. And it could happen twenty to forty years from now, and you will be all old and dried up. And you are going to say to yourself. " I could of been with my true love years ago but I stayed with this guy who made me unhappy all this time" His stroke is unrelevent now since he has recovered. I think you should keep that seperate from your decision to stay with him.  sorry,but thats my honest opinion. :-

[cah5525]

does he relate this new mean spirited attitude to the stroke? in all seriousness, a stroke affects the brain - it may be something he will always struggle with. that doesn't mean he's absolved of his attitude/actions towards you. i offer this- if He doesn't feel good about the way HE's acting and HE wants help- support that and stay with him. If he doesn't see what you see then, go.

[heather177]

If he is making your life misreable then why stay. Have you tried telling him how he is acting since his stroke. Maybe he can work on it. But again dont make your life misreable just because you feel sorry for the guy.

[trop8cana]

I voted that you should leave.  Why?  Any days wasted on someone who makes you unhappy are years wasted.  If you are having issues, now, then its inevitable that you guys will eventually break up. And who knows it could be him leaving you. And it could happen twenty to forty years from now, and you will be all old and dried up. And you are going to say to yourself. " I could of been with my true love years ago but I stayed with this guy who made me unhappy all this time" His stroke is unrelevent now since he has recovered. I think you should keep that seperate from your decision to stay with him.  sorry,but thats my honest opinion. :-

I actually agree with this and couldn't find better words to use.

[Kymberli0529]

If it's bad now, it won't get any better.  I understand any guilt you might feel about leaving him because of the stroke but you can't stay with him and make yourself unhappy.  If you really think about it and truly feel you'd be happier without him, leave.  You can't make someone else happy at the expense of your happiness.

[dreamyxo]

Leave.  Life is too short for you to spend it with someone you're not even married to and being this miserable. 

[jester2dr]

It really saddens me to read this thread.....

alot of people want to tell you that you should leave this guy.....

here's what i think.....

and i'm going to be blunt....

I think you started this thread to justify the decision you already made to leave him.....

You've already decided that it's just too hard dealing with this guy but felt guilty because of his health issues....

so you wanted others to tell you that it's ok....

most have told you just what you wanted to hear.....

i'm not going to be one of the "pack".....

relationships are difficult...

they take work....

my dad became handicap (paralyzed) when he was just 38 yrs old....

he also became bitter.....

but by working through it, my parents are still together..... (he's 70 now)

and they have something much more profound than alot of the superficial  relationships that are out there now....

but you have to decide....

are you willing to put the work in to build somthing deeper and more profound....

or is being with the next guy so much more important? (just so you can think that you're happy)

[mrisha]

Was there something going on or lacking between you 2 before your mate had his stroke?  Have you sat down and had a heart to heart talk with him  to see what is going on with him emotionally.  Possibly the stroke terrified him and this is his way of lashing out at something that wasn't going too good with you all before the stroke.

If you love him or care about him-Talk to him before make this major decision.  No one else can make this decision for you.   

[jkc715nyc]

I voted that you should leave, but after reading what some of the other people have posted, I'm wondering if I judged to quickly. If his change in attitude is medically proven to be due to the stroke, you should see if there's anything that can be done to help him change. Have you discussed getting him therapy? Does he realize how much he has changed, and is he unhappy? If he's willing to take the steps towards regaining what you used to have, I think it's worth fighting for.

[viva05]

Will if you love him then you will not leave but, if thing don't get better then you know what to do which is leave him don't go back to him after you have left him the worst mistake you could ever make.

[SoontobeLane36]

It really saddens me to read this thread.....

alot of people want to tell you that you should leave this guy.....

here's what i think.....

and i'm going to be blunt....

I think you started this thread to justify the decision you already made to leave him.....

You've already decided that it's just too hard dealing with this guy but felt guilty because of his health issues....

so you wanted others to tell you that it's ok....

most have told you just what you wanted to hear.....

i'm not going to be one of the "pack".....

relationships are difficult...

they take work....

my dad became handicap (paralyzed) when he was just 38 yrs old....

he also became bitter.....

but by working through it, my parents are still together..... (he's 70 now)

and they have something much more profound than alot of the superficial  relationships that are out there now....

but you have to decide....

are you willing to put the work in to build somthing deeper and more profound....

or is being with the next guy so much more important? (just so you can think that you're happy)

I can understand about what she is feeling because my ex-husband has those issues and more without even a stroke. But I whole heartedly agree with jester2dr. Take his advice....it might come across a little strong and harsh, but it's great advice. And girl, if you honestly and truly love him, then you will be willing to try to get through it. Sit him down and tell him how he is making you feel. Ask him if he can understand what he is putting you through. IF he doesn't, don't give up. Just tell him you can't do this alone...and you can't no matter what. I hope it works.