friends not paying back because no money

[tashamjoy]

So i feel like i am the friend people go to for money not because i am rich but because i will give money and wont ask for it back but it is hard because people take advantage of it and i kind of have resentment towards these people like for example like i would pay for a concert and my friend never paid me for tickets i bought and years later she paid this time and asked me for money is it bad to say no because i paid last time even if its 4 or 5 years later because to me its fair but im afraid the friend would be like you remembered from 5 years ago and think that i like still am mad from that what you think?

[TAZALISCIOUS]

Wow, I know how you feel. With two separate friends I have had the same situation. From years back on two separate occasions I had bought tickets to a concert. I was able to get a deal and my friend asked me to get her 2 tickets. I got them for her and never saw the money for it. She has always had more money than me, this is like 8 years ago, we are still friends but I have never seen any cash back! My other friend I bought two tickets for with one of them being for myself, again this is about 8 years ago. We went to the concert had a great time, I drove and bought drinks and still have not yet received any money! I don't think if could personally ever bring it up but I will always remember! If I am ever asked again to get tickets I won't. I also won't put myself in the situation to have my friend get the ticket and have me pay them back. I think that would be just too weird for me. In the end, it's just cash, it doesn't really matter. I will never forget but I know I am the bigger and more responsible person. Life goes on is my bottom line.

[hvnlydevil]

With friends and family, you need to consider every lending of money as a donation. If you still want to lend them money, consider setting up a pay back schedule with them. More often than not, though, I think it's safe to not expect repayment.

[ladavia89]

This is the reason I don't loan out large amounts of money unless I know the person will actually return it.

[Nancy5]

All I can say is before you "loan" money, remember....if you can't afford to "give" the money and don't expect it back, don't loan it!

[msmoneybags48]

People are strange creatures of habit.  I gave my check to my husband (we have an account together)  and told him I needed 2 money orders to pay my bills.  He sent his niece's husband in to get the money orders and this boob chose to take 2 dollars from my money.  It is the principle involved; he didn't call me and ask me, but he took it upon himself and I sent a message by my husband to tell him I wanted my money back in its entirety.  He said he was going to pay it; don't nag him.  My husband told him that he asked him to go buy two money orders and my wife doesn't work, so she has no money to give you.  Back to your situation, if you paid before and she seems to have forgotten, remind her.  If you lose a friend because you did something nice for her, she was not a good friend.  I have heard it said that you should lend money and not expect it back.  I say it depends on the situation.

[patycake56]

Thats how it used to  be with me esecially my grown kids but beleive ive learned that little word and i stick by it

[camellia0]

All you have to say is "no, I don't have any money that I can lend?" .  if you say it like that, you're not telling a lie and you don't have to feel guilty.

[Tresbn00]

Neither a borrower or a lender be...especially with friends and family. People will always pay friends and family back last...if at all.  I bought a duplex that my sister lived in and never let her know that I had purchased it.  She continued to make her rent every month, on time, for two years-never knowing that the rent was going to me.  She went hungry sometimes to make sure that she had enough money to pay the rent. She found out that I owned the duplex when I put it on the market to sell. It took three months to sell and she was late on rent for two of those months and never paid the third month.  I fronted a commission check to an employee once and his sale fell apart.  He split with the commission.  People can't be trusted if they are familiar with you.

[mstevenson2]

i dont loan money

[Delphyne]

I think the most valuable thing that people need to think about is this:  Which is worth more to you?  The friend or the money?  I have loaned money, books, and electronics to people -- only to never see them again.  Perhaps the person could not afford to give the money back, or the books, or what have you.

My friend is more important to me than money or inanimate objects. 

 

[sherryinutah]

It one thing to be kind and generous...and...it's another thing to be a doormat.  My policy is to tell friends....

Let's make a deal.  I won't ask you for money and you won't ask me for money.  Fair enough?

It's easier to maintain healthy friendships/relationships if there isn't any frustration and/or resentment over money.  By all means, SAY NO.

The worse case scenario is that they might find a different friend to take advantage of.  

[lynnc35]

You shouldn't loan money to friends, it will break up friendships and then you will wonder if they were only your friend for the money, it doesn't mix.

[handllucas]

I was taught not to loan any money that you cannot afford to lose.

If a person owes me money and asks for more, I just say I cannot afford it.

[twol]

I never loan money because I know I will never see it again. I've been gullible in the past with friends/family and I've learned my lesson.