Should I let my parents be a factor to not going to a University of my choice?

[anotherlaujgirl]

I'm not sure.

So can I get some inputs from you all? I'm still a child so I don't know
what things are going through my parents mind. Right now it really just sounds like
transportation and money issues, but really,

Are there more to that?

[gwendolynconrad]

Listen to your parents and pray about this situation.

[msmoneybags48]

There are several options for you to seek out.  I am going to school online at the age of 54 and, unless your parents are paying for your education, you have to consider their feelings.  You can go to a community college, or do you have a choice of going to school at a university right now?  Here is my suggestion:  talk to God and ask Him for guidance.  He won't fail you, and you may make up your mind quicker.

[sigmapi1501]

Don't pray about it... God thinks most Universities are evil because they teach science. 

[mperez7372]

I am a college graduate, as well as have my Master's Degree.  If you are going to college, you are not a child.  You are making decisions for your life.  Literally!  I would definitely listen to your parents concerns and consider if you can find solutions.  At the end of the day, it is what feels right to you.  As long as you are making a well thought out, responsible decision, you will be okay.  Formulate your plan of action then present it to them.  Hopefully, they will respect the "adult" way you have approached the situation and will be supportive of your decision.

[darkxtsuna]

let yourself pick it the choice is yours.

[bobes915]

Listen to your parents on the student loans/debt side of the equation.  That is difficult for most incoming College students to fully fathom.  If you have less debt or no debt coming out of school, you will have more choices.  The "well, everyone gets student loans" argument is really dumb in my opinion.  Not having any student loans meant that I did not go to an Ivy League school, but having no student loans has been a major blessing for me.  It has enabled me to engage in work that I am passionate about instead of taking a job primarily because of what it pays.  As a result, I was able to spend a year living in Germany and a year living in South Korea.  Pretty good for someone who was never in the military. 

Ultimately, if a certain school is more money but has a significantly better program in your desired field of study, it might be worth it.  However, my wife attended an Ivy League University and I know that she has been considered "overqualified" for certain jobs because of where she went to school.  So going to the "best" University is not always worth it financially in the long run. 

 

[acurtsinger2]

only if you're willing to pay for it yourself, otherwise they're in charge

[levettepough]

Listen to your parents and pray about this situation.

Yes I think that the parents play a great role in college picking for their child. don't get mad they are thinking about our future.

[Gerianne]

have a conference with your parents. Discuss both your side and theirs.
Offer to take a job on campus and/or a part time job.

[lvstephanie]

I guess it depends on how much of themselves they are putting on the line... If they are paying for it, then you really should listen to them. If on the other hand you're the one paying your own way, then you can listen to hear what they say, but the ultimate decision is yours. If you want to have more control, look into getting scholarships... If you get several scholarships that will reduce the amount they pay, then you should get more say in the decision (plus it'll show your parents that you are acting responsibly by trying to reduce the costs for school).

One last thing to consider is whether college will be the final step in your education journey or if you plan to go on to graduate school. If you are planning to move on, then the best University in a chosen field isn't always the best for your undergraduate work. For example, you may not want to go to Harvard as an undergraduate if you're planning to go into law... Go to a college that is a little cheaper and really excel in your classes. Then when you are applying for law school, you can choose Harvard; they usually won't down-play anyone that comes in with a 4.0 GPA when it comes to admissions to their law school, and you'll save some money in the process.

[skrogman]

I think you have gotten some great advice above.  I really agree with saying that you can get a lot of answers first from prayer, then with an adult-minded sit-down talk with your parents with respect to if they are paying for your education or if you have lined up your grants and other financial aid options.  If your parents are footing the bill, then it is important to respect and appreciate what you are being given.  And, yes, of course you can go in to your first few semesters with the goal in mind of doing what you need to do to attain a scholarship to the school you want.  In that, your parents will have pride in what your are doing.  But at the same time, in the situation you are in, you need to keep that goal in mind.  College can be a time of great fun, but you are in a unique situation.  Have fun and enjoy, but limit yourself and keep your eye on that big picture and before you know it you will have the degree you worked SOOOOOO hard for  and be following the path you were intelligent enough to decide at such a young age that you wanted.
I'm not your mother, but I am proud that you are thinking this through in the way that you are.  You will do great.  I have no doubt.  You are showing a lot of maturity already.


GOOD LUCK!

[kapeh12]

You should at minimum listen and consider what your parents' advice is regarding your choice in university.  There are many factors to take into account that one may not think about having lived at home 100% of the time.  If your parents are paying for some or all of your college, then that would give them the advantage in the decision of where you go.  If they are willing to pay for in-state schools, but your choice is an out of state - there are definite extra financial burdens to commit to.  Also, depending on how your personality/relationship is with your family, the further away from home you are, the more on your own you would be if you find you need assistance.

There's also the consideration of whether or not you'll get into your school of choice - maybe you will, maybe you won't which will make the point moot.  Most applications will cost money too - some schools offer cheaper application fees than others.

Things they are probably considering is the cost of tuition/books, room/board (are you going to live in the dorms or in an apartment - if the later, then how are you going to get groceries, pots, pans, etc...), items you need to live away from home (clothes, bath towels and other accessories, computer, furniture, cooking supplies or dishes, etc...), transportation (will you need a bike, scooter, car...will you need to drive or take the bus to get home), will you get a job or study full time, extra expenses like tickets to school games or movies or eating out..., phone bill charges, etc...

Often when one is still living at home, you don't fully realize how much it costs to live on your own until you start receiving the bills.  There are those that pass them off to their parents to pay, not taking any responsibility for their spending habits; then there are those that gain wisdom and understanding about how to budget.


The advice from others about considering longer term goals is a valuable tip too - do you need a full university degree now, or based on your financial status, would it be better to get some breadth courses completed at a local tech college that can be later transferred to a college when pursuing your degree.  Doing that could help save up for the university studies by working while attending school to save up for the full university costs.  Others mentioned online courses (which can also be transferred).

When I graduated, it took me 8 years to pay off the debts I accumulated while in college, and my parents helped pay for some of my schooling (they paid room/board, I paid tuition - when I moved out of the dorms, they gave me a monthly stipend I had to budget for paying rent, food and utilities).  You could get student loans, but how much in loans will you have by the time you expect to graduate...how long will it take to pay that amount off when you are on your own - paying rent, food, utilities, transportation, insurance, etc..plus paying off the loans.

Good luck in your decision!

[coreyw87]

Yes, if they have to provide finances.  Its only fair because even though its your life your parents have to make the ends meet if they are providing finances.  Now if you are going to meet all your own needs I guess it would be ok for you to totally make the decisions.

[dorannmwin]

It really depends on your particular situation. You see, my mother encouraged my little brother to not go to the university of his choice because of the costs that would have been associated with his going to an out of state college. However, in our situation, my mother was covering the cost of college for which we were not able to qualify for scholarships, so I really do think that there was a place for her to include her opinion.