~* Humorous and Funny Quotes *~

[jcribb16]

Thanks for starting this post. It was very entertaining to read every ones quotes. 

Thank you!  I enjoy a spot of humor - it adds something nice to the day! 

[DeliriousKris]

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Robert Orben

[ShadeTree]

This is a Zen joke I read in an article the other day. I thought it was kinda funny.


How much “ego” do you need? Just enough so that you don’t step in front of a bus.
~ Shunryu Suzuki

[jcribb16]

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road."
~ Henry Ward Beecher ~

"The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood."
~ Lou Holtz ~



I thought these kind of matched up with the title of this thread! 

[DeliriousKris]

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Robin Williams

[jcribb16]

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Robin Williams

Ha ha!!  That's a good one! 

[DeliriousKris]

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Erma Bombeck

[braggin]

"Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."

-- Mark Twain --

[paints]

"Usually when you go to someone's house they offer you coffee. They say, "You want some coffee?" I tell them, "No thanks, I have coffee at home. But I could use a little pancake mix." I try to get things I need."

George Carlin 

[stretch1967]

I thank everone for the posts som times things get to frustrating and you really need it.

[clickers]

"Usually when you go to someone's house they offer you coffee. They say, "You want some coffee?" I tell them, "No thanks, I have coffee at home. But I could use a little pancake mix." I try to get things I need."

George Carlin 

That is really funny, I laughed out loud, thanks so much for this thread!

[ilovepatrick]

 :in-love:thanks for making me smile

[DeliriousKris]

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood

[paints]

“When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?”
― George Carlin

[greenthumbjan]

Shut-up shutting-up!    WB