memory

[djohnson43]

I don't really expect a reply from anyone on this. This is strictly a mom honoring her child. And maybe sounding off a little.
        Rachel, my darlin, today is thriteen years that you are gone come three-ten this afternoon. We all miss you so very much. Jess may not literally know you but your daddy, Pat and I do talk about you. Even though Jess looks just like you and even acts like you quite alot she can never replace you. You were my first born almost 21 years ago and will always hold a place in my heart. I still relive your last week of your life when this week comes. I remember what you did, even what you wore that night before you had your asthma attact that landed you in ICU. Which by the way both Pat and Jess did wear all the time just like you did, and now it is put back to make a quilt of all the things all three of you wore along with your individual baby blankets you each had. I love you my little angel.     one for each year you are gone.

[bretay]

I am so sorry for your loss.I do understand what you're going through.My last baby girl was born March 20,1983 and past away November 29,1983..She would have been 8 months old the next day..She past away from transposition of the great arteries.In other words as they told us, she was breathing her own blood.She had a major heart operation at 7 months old.She never made it past the 24 hour critical stage.It gets easier to love day by day.But you will never forget the day.I would have love to known what type of person she would have been today...Again I am so sorry for your loss.

[djohnson43]

Thanks. And I know how you feel. I do hate it though when someone else says that to us who has never lost a child cause they really don't know how it is. Rachel didn't have surgury but she did have asthma from the time she was about 18 months old and about every other year we ended up in the hospital when she had a severe attack. When we landed in ICU on the ninth Rachel was the first child on the unit to have had a severe attack but within 24 hours there was five others but she is the only one who didn't make it off. When she went into cardiac arrest between us and the EMT's it took six minutes to get her heart going again so the damage was already done. There was even a doubt when she was air lifted from the hospital to the childrens hospital if she would survive that. But some good did come from her passing besides for my youngest. At the time the kids in our schools weren't allowed to carry their inhalers on them physically, even though she didn't have her attack at school, now they are. Everyone kept saying that you can't die from an asthma attack well our family and a family who's son did have an attack at school in January after Rach are living proof of it. We have been able to tell people about Rach and that has helped a great deal with the pain but as I'm sure you know the holidays and birthdays are still ruff. This January she would be turning 21 and my mom and I have decided that we are going to throw her a little party of just the family and buy little gifts that don't mean anything really, just to mark this date she never reached just like we did for her 16th. 

[Wshngstr]

I wont pretend to know what you are going through. I've never lost a child. Closest person to me that I have lost is my mom, this past July, and that is hard enough. I have 3 kids and couldn't imagine losing either of them. I just wanted to say that I am truly sorry for your loss.