Im not happy

[masked_brown_guy]

If you are so concerned with her education, then teacher her something. Do not take it to the extreme either, scorning her will get you no where. Do something simple yet tempting to get her interested into the activity. If that doesn't work, get out of the situation.

[yosav]

I have been very unhappy for the last 3 years.   I have an abusive boyfriend as to whom I dislike very much and he has turned me against him and when he starts his I give a piece of my mind, but here lately it's his daughter too.  I just want to take and whoop her little behind 11 years old in 5th grade and is very defiant all the time.  She has repeated 3 grade twice and failed, 4th grade she failed and 5th grade end of 1st semester and she is failing again.   I can't do anymore if her father doesn't step up and do what it right and make her do her homework and respect me and her teachers.  Who am I kidding he doesn't respect me so why would she? I don't know what to do anymore....Help me

i usually dont like to give advice about leaving someone cause in almost all cases people could work it out if they really tried together but in your case its different, if someone is abbusive then it like a bad sickness that will never go away, you should leave before its to late

[mc1962]

I have been very unhappy for the last 3 years.   I have an abusive boyfriend as to whom I dislike very much and he has turned me against him and when he starts his I give a piece of my mind, but here lately it's his daughter too.  I just want to take and whoop her little behind 11 years old in 5th grade and is very defiant all the time.  She has repeated 3 grade twice and failed, 4th grade she failed and 5th grade end of 1st semester and she is failing again.   I can't do anymore if her father doesn't step up and do what it right and make her do her homework and respect me and her teachers.  Who am I kidding he doesn't respect me so why would she? I don't know what to do anymore....Help me

..................
First of all, YOU NEED HELP!  there are several reasons that you need help and I rarely get involved in posts of this nature but in your case I will make an exception.  First of all it is never wise to strike or abuse a child, it is not only against the LAW but it is just wrong.  You should either do one or two things. first, contact your local community crisis center and tell them that you need help and they will direct you to or they will contact child protective services and take appropriate action.  Second, seperate yourself from the situation.  You obiviously can not deal with it and if it is nearing you to the point of hurting a child then you need and MUST get away from the situation.

I wish you the best of luck but remember, IT IS NEVER APPROPRIATE TO STRIKE A CHILD, AND IT IS AGAINST THE LAW.

Good Luck
mc1962

[queenofnines]

You need to call a friend or family member that you can go live with for awhile, pack up your stuff and get out. Don't tell your boyfriend where you're going, just that you're going. Live with your friend or family member until you are back on your feet.

[dking12]

 please get out!  my aunt went back to her husband 4 times and they divorsed once and remarried  he promised to stop hitting her .the last time he almost killed with a long hospital stay. he did the flowers and candy  and she fell for it .  she went to a women shelter they helped her to get a job then an apt. for her and the kids her self comfidence back . she is her own women!

[tdecet]

I find giving all my problems to God Helps.   Get out while the getting is good.  Refuse to have anything to do with him anymore.

[kcoleman2]

I agree wtih alot of the previous post. You need to get out of that relationship. If he's abusive , then he has no respect, love or any concern for you. His daughter is picking up on his habits. Why should you have to suffer for them. You need to look in the mirror and say, I DESERVE BETTER!!! After you say that and believe in what you say, start your life fresh, without them. I'm not saying its going to be easy, but i know it will be worth it. Take the first step and everything else will fall into place.

[falcon9]

I find giving all my problems to God Helps.   

Religious non sequiturs cannot help due to being based upon empty religious beliefs and false attributions.

"Religion is the most malevolent of all mind viruses."
-- Arthur C. Clarke

[maxinmotion]

What ever you decide to in this relationship be sure you are ready to take a stand for what you want. When or if you decide to get out do not go back because he say "It will change, or he will change", being that it has not already changed is a sure sign that it wont.

[tzs]

DON'T PRAY, ITS USELESS TO DO THIS...RUN AWAY!!!

[pattersondebra]

It sounds to me like your expecting respect from these two but show no respect for yourself by putting up with this abuse. Get out!

[BlackSheepNY]

The keyword that struck a chord for me in your post was "abusive."  Run, girl, run!  There's too many fish in the sea to be putting up with BS.  You're not married, and even if you were, I'd still tell you to run.  Get out now.  You deserve so much more and life is way too short.  Good luck to you, I wish you well.

[Storm61115]

find somewhere else to live if that is the problem. it's stupid to live and be with someone who doesnt treat u right.

[Ittai]

  You need to move on and get out of the relationship.YOU HAVE MADE IT CLEAR.."been very unhappy for the lasthttp://3 years.   I have an abusive boyfriend as to whom I dislike very much and he has turned me against him and when he starts his I give a piece of my mind, but here lately it's his daughter too." ... Please listen to everyone, get some good advise and think of what is best for you...!!!

[lbryanwf]

Your problem goes way deeper than  a child failing in school! You are living in a toxic environment where no one will succeed or be happy!

I speak from experience. I had a situation much like yours. Only I was stupid!!! I had excuses not to leave..I can't afford it, etc etc, so I endured it for 25 years. Probably to survive, I jumped off the fruitless merry-go-round and  stopped focusing so much on him, because it was so miserable.

I took control of my own life, and stopped trying to be responsible for his kids failures or for him. I basically gave all that burden to him, and emotionally backed out. I still gave the kids care and love, but I stopped agonizing about their situation in life. I would always tell him to handle it and remind him that I would not. I forced him to share in the housework, and grocery shopping with threats to leave. He stayed horrible to live with, but I was busy "escaping", so It was ok.

That single act of "opting out" kept me from going crazy. I told myself I was going to have my own money, and I took more control of my life by getting a job and squirreling away money. That whole time I let him support me. I never shared my money with him. Then there was an an incident that was the straw that broke the camels back. It propelled me to get out for good.

 By that time, I grown enough to become detached from him (and his drama) and had been for years. So after the initial exhilaration wore off, there I was a 62 year old woman, wondering where the hell my life went.

 I needed to start the healing process, and get on with life. Through counseling and lots of prayer, three years later, I am reborn and happier than I have ever been.

 I still regret that I essentially threw away my life. I don't know why I waited so many years to leave. Maybe with counseling, I would have gotten out 15 years earlier. But my future is bright now so I look ahead, not backward.

Don't be like me, and be a senior citizen when you get your life back!! Unless you take action, this is your life for the rest of your life!. Get some counseling, get strong and get the hell out of  there!