Im not happy

[lparker5]

I have been very unhappy for the last 3 years.   I have an abusive boyfriend as to whom I dislike very much and he has turned me against him and when he starts his I give a piece of my mind, but here lately it's his daughter too.  I just want to take and whoop her little behind 11 years old in 5th grade and is very defiant all the time.  She has repeated 3 grade twice and failed, 4th grade she failed and 5th grade end of 1st semester and she is failing again.   I can't do anymore if her father doesn't step up and do what it right and make her do her homework and respect me and her teachers.  Who am I kidding he doesn't respect me so why would she? I don't know what to do anymore....Help me

[sara18]

I have been very unhappy for the last 3 years.   I have an abusive boyfriend as to whom I dislike very much and he has turned me against him and when he starts his I give a piece of my mind, but here lately it's his daughter too.  I just want to take and whoop her little behind 11 years old in 5th grade and is very defiant all the time.  She has repeated 3 grade twice and failed, 4th grade she failed and 5th grade end of 1st semester and she is failing again.   I can't do anymore if her father doesn't step up and do what it right and make her do her homework and respect me and her teachers.  Who am I kidding he doesn't respect me so why would she? I don't know what to do anymore....Help me

the key here is boyfriend, not husband, you better get out, and as far away as you can, in the future its going to get worse, leave and dont look back, and if he tries to be nice dont go back, if its abuse, it'll only end bad put your fellings on the side and get away.

[stretch1967]

Yes first get rid of the boyfriend. Your daughter needs to feel more stable. If she feels your upset she is going to lash out. Dont take abuse it is not worth it. Your daughter dont need to be around that either. Has he hurt her? You need to think of yourself and that little girl. Think about your future. There are a lot of government programs out there that will help. Go back to school get back on your feet. God bless you and your daughter. Best of luck to you.

[sara18]

Yes first get rid of the boyfriend. Your daughter needs to feel more stable. If she feels your upset she is going to lash out. Dont take abuse it is not worth it. Your daughter dont need to be around that either. Has he hurt her? You need to think of yourself and that little girl. Think about your future. There are a lot of government programs out there that will help. Go back to school get back on your feet. God bless you and your daughter. Best of luck to you.

i think you missed something, she said it was his daughter, not hers, which is even a better reason for leaving

[stretch1967]

Sorry. She can still get out and get help and get back on her feet. She just has to be strong.

[acurtsinger2]

her abusive attitude was learned from the boyfriend..kids act like they dont listen, but they hear everything being said and see everything being done.   let her know that her slacker attitude is not acceptable and no matter what, remind her everyday that you love her

[africanclaudie]

I agree with all the previous posts....get out as soon as you can! I know it's difficult and scary to start anew, but you will feel a very heavy weight is lifted off your shoulder when you walk away. Maybe it's time to start thinking of your own life and well-being. Good luck!

[annettefayeroach]

You have to be strong for yourself and GET OUT now before it it to late.

[kapeh12]

Others have already stated it - get out, get out fast.  Look to friends and family to help give you a place to stay as you get yourself back on your feet.  Start looking for a job if you don't have one - anything that can put a roof over your head and food on the table.  No one deserves to be that disrespected for so long.  A healthy relationship does have its ups and downs, but this does not sound anywhere near "healthy".  Even in down periods, in a healthy relationship there is still mutual respect and eventually resolution to conflicts.  Your situation does not sound like there is any mutual respect, nor any attempt to resolve these conflicts.  Time to take your life back by moving on.

[tzs]

WHat the heck are you still doing there? Get out! Do you have a codependent relationship with this man??? Get away from him ASAP, or you will be unhappy forever!

[DeliriousKris]

Get out...
I know it SOUNDS like an easy solution, but emotionally you may feel dependent on him, or attached like a security blanket or something.
The only way you're going to get happy though is if you leave him, and focus on yourself for a while before getting in to another relationship.

[dmahoney]

I dont know what else I could add that hasnt already been said. You are not married, so whats taking you so long?  Pack your bags!!!!

[Skyisbluetoday]

If I were you I'd leave as soon as you can. Men shouldn't do that to women, or the other way around! Good luck and hope you can decide soon! 

[BK_Adores_Chase]

I'd say leave without saying anything and go stay somewhere where he won't look, long lost Grandma lol who he doesn't know the address of and although this will be EXTREMELY HARD, DO NOT ANSWER HIS CALLS, READ HIS TEXTS, LISTEN TO HIS VOICEMAILS, OR RESPOND TO HIM.  In a month if you miss him maybe there's a reason, if not move on!

[dcrotteau]

Get out as soon as you can or kick them out!! I've been in your shoes and it took me a long,  long time to get my self esteem and self worth back.  Guys like him don't change and unfortunately their kids often times grow up repeating the same behaviors.  Good luck to you.  God Bless.