why do children leave home from good parents, but don't write or call much?

[sexychocolate47]

I feel they was spoiled too much by the parents and when they get out on their own, they become too selfish, self-center to care about anyone feelings, needs, or well being but their own, they forget the love, struggle, sacrifices, debt, and late nights of losing sleep worrying about them and trying to give them a good life their parents did and on top of that giving them a chance in life by giving them life.

[nvwikiwiki]

Count your blessing - you did a good raising an independent child.  Now you have the freedom to do for yourself.

[Nancy5]

I think sometimes kids have to "test the water" and they get caught up in living independently, away from mom & dad, it doesn't always mean they are bad, uncaring, or selfish.  Most of the time after awhile they "grow up" and realize how important family is and change their ways.  Sadly sometimes it does take a long time and sometimes it never happens. 

[vickysue]

Give them time and they will grow up and come back into the fold. They sometimes just get so caught up in all the things there is out there. But most will come back.

[momoney555]

Grown children are just that, they are children that have just gotten bigger.  Mentally they are still pretty much children and cannot appreciate the sacrifices their parents endured just to keep them alive to get to the point they have gotten.  When they have experienced life for themselves outside the world their parents built for them to grow up in, and when they themselves become parents, then and only then do they get it.  If you have been a parent who was always there for them growing up,  then they will start to understand and appreciate what you did.  It can be a long wait, I know, mine is 26 and still does not totally get it, but that is what parenting is about.  Sometimes the only gratification you ever will get is in just knowing you were a good parent who gave 100%.

[jolena23]

Maybe they do grow up selfish but other times they just want to grow up a little bit and show their parents that they can do it. They only thing we can hope as parents is that we taught them right from wrong and that we taught them how to be strong and that they can always come home and that they will be loved. And we are they for advice.

[stretch1967]

Enjoy your life. They will come around. I have 2 kids 24 & 26 and they only come around when they need something.  I do however have 2 of my grandkids almost full time. The other 2 I get pretty regularly. I also have a grandson in California that that I havent gotten to see in 2 years. I enjoy a break when I get one. Which is very rare.

[sexychocolate47]

  To all the comments on my posting Quote: Why do children leave home from good parents, but don't write or call much: I thank all of you who commented, because each and everyone of you gave me a new and positive way of looking at it from their side, i love my kids and i guess i am so use to having them constantly in my life and miss them since they are not there where i can protect them and watch over them. But i am so proud of my grown children, because they are like i was when i ventured out of my parents home at 17 years old, i was, still is and probably always be independent and i am married. But i thank God he blessed me with a child when i was told i could not have anymore and i had him at 39 and he is my straight ace partner, he loves him some mommy lol, i am 48 be 49 in January and raising my 9 year old and my husband of 3 years is 57 and we enjoy having him in our life. He is so energetic and wise, but a little too curious and sneaky at times lol. but a true blessing and miracle. God must knew i was going to get lonely when my two adult kids left home, so he gave me someone to be there to keep me company and busy and he is doing his job, i be glad when i have some grandchildren, someone he can grow up with and mentor to and look after, so he can stop trying to boss me around lol. I am so proud of my oldest son, he was going down a wrong path, but eventually with my firmness and love, turned his life around, he got his education, went into the army at 17 now at 24 he is a sergeant in the U.S Army, he has been to Iraq in the war twice, now he is in Afghanastan in the war and happily married to a beautiful woman who loves him, he is in a interractional relationship and i wish the whole world saw what i see in them, just true love and much friendship, they are so beautiful together. I always told my kids when they choose someone for a partner, not to worry about the color of their skin, or what possessions they  have in life, just the size of their heart and how they respect and treat you and their honesty, plus good morale values. I love people of all types, culture to me we all are God's creation and he loves us all just as we are just the way he created us and as a christian that is how we suppose to accept people and love them. 

[tinajacksonville]

Children grow up and dont believe that the parents need to hear from them that often. They get to busy with their own lives and forget where they came from and who they should be thanking for their lives.

[mrsbluesmith]

My mom always said that 'children don't grow up and move away - they grow up, move away, multiply, and then come back!'  Be careful for what you wish for. 

[sdenimandlace1]

I like mrsblues answer, be careful what you wish for.

[banderson5]

as a young adult who, when I left home, had good parents, i did not call or come visit because i was ashamed of the life i was leading. i did not want my mom to see me the way that i was. when i got better, the first place i went was home.

[Pplaya123]

Being a student myself, I believe that people act this way because it is such a drastic change by living away from home. They want to experience new things and live the life of being more independent. I am sure that they do miss their parents very much however and are appreciative of everything. 

[sexychocolate47]

Hello i am amazed at how many response i got from this post. You all was right in your posting. My kids both called me this month and told me how good of a mom i was when raising them and i was totally shocked. I am glad though my kids are on their own and learning from their mistakes. I am especially proud of them because they are really trying to do good things in their life and honest things and not breaking the law, my oldest which is a girl she is 28 as of September the 25th she is going to school to get her nursing degree at University of Phoenix and my son who just turned 24 September 5 is happily married to a wonderful woman, they are a biracial couple and i like that because that let me know he listened to me when i told him love comes in all colors and to love a person for who they are in their heart and not because of color, position or monetary reasons. They are so in love and a beautiful couple, now i am waiting on some grandbabies lol, i want some grandkids so much. All my sisters have grandkids, my friends i grew up with talks about their grandkids and i just want some before i leave this earth to just spoil lol. Oh and yes my oldest son he is also a Seargeant in the United States Army and he is in Afganastan figthing in the war, so please pray for his safe return and all the soldiers safe return to their love ones. I thank my son and all them for risking their lives, losing time with their love ones and families just to protect us and keep our freedom for us.

[diala84]

College is full of new experiences and also new problems. Often times the pace of college life makes it not only difficult to keep up on school work, make new friends, make money, explore the area, etc.. you also tend to lose track of time. Sometimes something as simple as telling your kid that you really want to talk with them more will do the trick. Other times they may be they are too embarrassed, ashamed or stressed about how college life has changed them to want to call home. Hopefully it is just because time flies by and they are really enjoying themselves.