Domestic Violence

[tzs]

I just got done reporting my neighbors' 26 yr old son for hitting his girlfriend. I actually witnessed him threatening her and grabbing her keys and her purse and shoving her up against the car. I came outside, saw him shoving and snatching her stuff away, and I immediately walked over to their car, and said "Stop it!" I broke up their fight and watched him storm into his house with her purse, her cell phone and her car keys. The first think I asked her was whether or not he hit her, and she said "YES! Look at my arms."  She was bruised on both arms from him grabbing her to keep her from leaving.
I talked to her and asked why he was acting this way. She told me he was drinking and that this was the 2nd time he had done this(he threw her phone at her before) Of course, I immediately said, "OH HELL NO!" and I knocked on his door, he came out and I told him, "give her back her keys and her purse." He stormed past me and said " Yeah Yeah Yeah, Ill give it to her!!" and started walking toward her as she stood crying and petrified. I followed, and His mom also came out. He handed her her purse and her keys, and they stood there for a while and had words,  and she proceeded to  leave All of the sudden, he snatched her purse away again shoved her out of the drivers seat, and jumped into the drivers side of her car, and slammed the door as she kept trying to get him to just leave her alone. He finally got out, and fought with her over the keys again. Keep in mind, this dudes mother is watching the whole situation go down. She watched her son put his arms around his girlfriends torso violently fighting her to get the phone away. She was screaming and crying, begging his mother, "Do you see this??? PLEASE, please help me" His mother said "No" to her, acted like there was nothing wrong, and walked away. Apparently, her son can do no harm. After he made a swift get away with his friends in the back of the apartments, the girlfriend went to his house hoping to get help from his parents. His mother proceeded to tell her while she was still pleading for her help, "If you call 911 on my son, you are not welcome in this house anymore." She looked at me and said "could you please call 911?" Of course, I called for her. I stepped in, because no one else would, not even his parents would give this girl sympathy. They basically shunned her immediately when there was a threat of their son going to jail, which really pisses me off. This boys parents couldn't even recognize that their son had hit a woman, and that it was absolutely wrong.  First of all, he's 26 yrs old and still lives with his mother and father, who just think he is the perfect son.  Secondly, after witnessing what their son can do, they turn a blind eye to it, and ditch the girlfriend, who is the victim. Third, even though they are my neighbors, and good friends (I don't know now, since I  called the cops on their son). Would you have done anything differently? I had to do it, men who hit women is one of my biggest pet pieves EVER!

[Amber0399]

Oh my goodness that's horrible thank god you caught him before he did something worst to her, god bless you, i'm glad you helped her!

[crazyzoo]

Good for you!!! So many people wont step in she'll probably be back with him in no time hope not but most likely but you did what a person should do! Watch your back though please these people get really mad when someone steps in.

[catherinedwhite]

Calling the police is the best action in this scenario.
Be careful not to interact too much or you will become
a victim of the drama.
If the girl now knows she can run to you for protection,
you might expect her to show up on your doorstep the next
time it happens.  And yes, unless she breaks the mold, it
will happen again.
If she does, ( show up on your doorstep ) call the police
immediately. The more times you get domestic violence
documented the better chance the victim will wake up.

[sigmapi1501]

Some Say that Domestic violence is a crime of silence. I say, maybe you're not hitting her hard enough.

[thtrngng]

Domestic violence is an issue that should have more severe consequences than a slap on the wrist. I believe that men who abuse women for no apparent reason, other than the fact that they are physically capable, must not love their mother. My mother gave me the inspiration to appreciate the good things in life, and most of the good things in life I learned at home. I just want to say that Domestic violence is a problem in this country. Hopefully more people will report it.

[healthfreedom]

It is really a sad thing that in our society there is so much violence and domestic violence. It hurts me to hear about the women who are abused and children. Wouldn't be great if we woke up one day and all of that has disappeared???

[am28slone]

I really am sorry for what this young lady had to go through. Why is that people try to ignore that domestic violence is happening. How terribly wrong for that mother, to stand there and allow her son to be so abusive to his girlfreind. I don't care who it is that is doing the abuse I will speak up, because it is wrong. It don't matter to me if Iam related or not I am not going to stand by and watch. I will react. There's entirely too much violence today.

[ladavia89]

It's good that you wanted to help her but be careful with getting involved. If he has no problem harming someone he is actually involved with he won't have any issues with going after any person who tries to get in his way

[reiddb]

You did the right thing for sure.  This country is getting worse and worse in these situations.  My husband is a county deputy and they will go to situations where there is terrible abuse and yet when it goes to court the guy get about 10 days in jail...after almost killing the girl!?  Just keep calling if the stuff is happening and hopefully he'll build up a record enough for someone to notice.  If you EVER see that girl again....tell her that this is NOT ok to live with!!!

[Zhongmou]

This is a very sad story. Obviously the boys parents set an example that it is okay to treat women like crap. I hope that she gets out before it is too late.

[tzs]

Thanx for all of the wonderful advice and encouragement. There is a warrant out for his arrest, and his parents, despite their behavior, are still friendly with me. I believe they realized that their son hit rock bottom in their minds!! His now ex-girlfriend (her name is Valentina) has called it quits with him for good. YAY!  :heart:Thanx again!

[Trace321]

Common situations. That,s funny being 26 and still living with mommy. Hahahha.

[thesilenceofadam]

Unfortunately this is all too common. I have a co-worker that has been coming to work all bruised up. We got her help but she went back to her abuser. This happen all too often. I hope this guys GF gets out and stays out!

[walksalone11]

I just got done reporting my neighbors' 26 yr old son for hitting his girlfriend. I actually witnessed him threatening her and grabbing her keys and her purse and shoving her up against the car. I came outside, saw him shoving and snatching her stuff away, and I immediately walked over to their car, and said "Stop it!" I broke up their fight and watched him storm into his house with her purse, her cell phone and her car keys. The first think I asked her was whether or not he hit her, and she said "YES! Look at my arms."  She was bruised on both arms from him grabbing her to keep her from leaving.
I talked to her and asked why he was acting this way. She told me he was drinking and that this was the 2nd time he had done this(he threw her phone at her before) Of course, I immediately said, "OH HELL NO!" and I knocked on his door, he came out and I told him, "give her back her keys and her purse." He stormed past me and said " Yeah Yeah Yeah, Ill give it to her!!" and started walking toward her as she stood crying and petrified. I followed, and His mom also came out. He handed her her purse and her keys, and they stood there for a while and had words,  and she proceeded to  leave All of the sudden, he snatched her purse away again shoved her out of the drivers seat, and jumped into the drivers side of her car, and slammed the door as she kept trying to get him to just leave her alone. He finally got out, and fought with her over the keys again. Keep in mind, this dudes mother is watching the whole situation go down. She watched her son put his arms around his girlfriends torso violently fighting her to get the phone away. She was screaming and crying, begging his mother, "Do you see this??? PLEASE, please help me" His mother said "No" to her, acted like there was nothing wrong, and walked away. Apparently, her son can do no harm. After he made a swift get away with his friends in the back of the apartments, the girlfriend went to his house hoping to get help from his parents. His mother proceeded to tell her while she was still pleading for her help, "If you call 911 on my son, you are not welcome in this house anymore." She looked at me and said "could you please call 911?" Of course, I called for her. I stepped in, because no one else would, not even his parents would give this girl sympathy. They basically shunned her immediately when there was a threat of their son going to jail, which really pisses me off. This boys parents couldn't even recognize that their son had hit a woman, and that it was absolutely wrong.  First of all, he's 26 yrs old and still lives with his mother and father, who just think he is the perfect son.  Secondly, after witnessing what their son can do, they turn a blind eye to it, and ditch the girlfriend, who is the victim. Third, even though they are my neighbors, and good friends (I don't know now, since I  called the cops on their son). Would you have done anything differently? I had to do it, men who hit women is one of my biggest pet pieves EVER!

Thank you.