Marriage

[anotherlaujgirl]

My brother's getting married soon.

I'm Hmong. SO the way marriage works is different. The girl moves in with the husband's family.

But the process before being officially married is LONG.

Getting married takes up about 3 days.

[Falconer02]

Cool! Congratulations to your brother! Hmong culture is quite interesting. I recall doing an independant report on it in HS. If you care to share more about the marriage ritual, please do!

[samrhett2]

Dang!  Sounds like one heck of a party.  Three days!  No really, sounds very interesting.

[falcon9]

My brother's getting married soon.

I'm Hmong. SO the way marriage works is different. The girl moves in with the husband's family.

But the process before being officially married is LONG.

Getting married takes up about 3 days.

Congratulations to your brother.  Does the family traditional waysin that marriage process, (the symbolic 'kidnapping' prior to the "hu plig nyab tshiab thaum puv peb tag kis")?

[anotherlaujgirl]

My brother's getting married soon.

I'm Hmong. SO the way marriage works is different. The girl moves in with the husband's family.

But the process before being officially married is LONG.

Getting married takes up about 3 days.

Congratulations to your brother.  Does the family traditional waysin that marriage process, (the symbolic 'kidnapping' prior to the "hu plig nyab tshiab thaum puv peb tag kis")?

Whoa, LOL Yes, it most definitely does.

[falcon9]

My brother's getting married soon.

I'm Hmong. SO the way marriage works is different. The girl moves in with the husband's family.

But the process before being officially married is LONG.

Getting married takes up about 3 days.

Congratulations to your brother.  Does the family do traditional ways in that marriage process, (the symbolic 'kidnapping' prior to the "hu plig nyab tshiab thaum puv peb tag kis")?

Whoa, LOL Yes, it most definitely does.

My gf says to tell you that "it sounds like fun!"  I told her that I could stick her in the trunk for a moment ... to which she replied, "wouldn't be the same."

[walksalone11]

My brother's getting married soon.

I'm Hmong. SO the way marriage works is different. The girl moves in with the husband's family.

But the process before being officially married is LONG.

Getting married takes up about 3 days.

Congratulations to your brother.  Does the family do traditional ways in that marriage process, (the symbolic 'kidnapping' prior to the "hu plig nyab tshiab thaum puv peb tag kis")?

Whoa, LOL Yes, it most definitely does.

My gf says to tell you that "it sounds like fun!"  I told her that I could stick her in the trunk for a moment ... to which she replied, "wouldn't be the same."

So who's on duty the first three days?......A mans gotta eat, no?

[falcon9]

My brother's getting married soon.
I'm Hmong. SO the way marriage works is different. The girl moves in with the husband's family.
But the process before being officially married is LONG.
Getting married takes up about 3 days.

Congratulations to your brother.  Does the family do traditional ways in that marriage process, (the symbolic 'kidnapping' prior to the "hu plig nyab tshiab thaum puv peb tag kis")?

Whoa, LOL Yes, it most definitely does.

My gf says to tell you that "it sounds like fun!"  I told her that I could stick her in the trunk for a moment ... to which she replied, "wouldn't be the same."

So who's on duty the first three days?......A mans gotta eat, no?

The "hu plig nyab tshiab thaum puv peb tag kis" part traditionally is supposed to include feasting but, that isn't exclusively it.  "anotherlaujgirl" could comment further since I'm not Hmong.

[anotherlaujgirl]

LOLOLOL Otay, so a 3 day wedding isn't as interesting as it sounds.

Normally, during the "kidnapping" the girl has to stay in the guy's house for 3 days.
Then his dad and uncles go to the girl's house and informs them about the situation.

The dates are then planned.

I don't actually remember which days are where. -____-

But i do know that the wedding takes place at both homes.

The last day starts at the girls house and ends at the guys.
So she's taken to the guys house *officially and there's a feast welcoming their arrival.

It's usually really sad, but also very happy

I don't know, I'll let you guys know when my brother's wedding's over for which days are where.

[falcon9]

LOLOLOL Otay, so a 3 day wedding isn't as interesting as it sounds.

Normally, during the "kidnapping" the girl has to stay in the guy's house for 3 days.
Then his dad and uncles go to the girl's house and informs them about the situation.

What usually happens during the faux-kidnapping?  Is a "ransom demanded and paid"?  If so, what form would that take? ;>

The dates are then planned.

I don't actually remember which days are where. -____-

But i do know that the wedding takes place at both homes.

The last day starts at the girls house and ends at the guys.
So she's taken to the guys house *officially and there's a feast welcoming their arrival.

It's usually really sad, but also very happy

I don't know, I'll let you guys know when my brother's wedding's over for which days are where.

[anotherlaujgirl]

Hmm, there is no ransom.

The family can either let the marriage happen, or not happen. Because
it's tradition, there's no need for ransom.

Most of the times, the girl's parent's agree to the marriage because their
daughter has already been "kidnapped" and been a a guys house. So to
keep from any gossip or things like so, they'd agree, even if the daughter disagreed.

But, now, there's mostly kidnapping where the girl's willing to go.
Well i think there were 2 main reason why kidnapping took place.
1- it was because the girl didn't want to get married to the guy
2- the parents didn't approve of the marriage, but like i said before. Because she's
already been kidnapped, they feel there's no choice.

But, marriage also happens without the kidnapping.

Some guys who have big enough courage would tell their father, and from there, his father would bring the guys'
uncles to the girls house and ask for her hand in marriage.

Also, now there are alot of Hmong people who are Christians so American weddings take place now.
From a proposal to engagement to marriage.


But as for dates, the 2 family's set it up.

[falcon9]

Hmm, there is no ransom.

The family can either let the marriage happen, or not happen. Because
it's tradition, there's no need for ransom.

I didn't think there was when I asked about a 'faux-kidnapping', the "faux-ransom" was implied too subtlely.  Sorry about that; it was meant as humor, (e.g., while everyone's pretending about the 'kidnapping', her father could 'pretend' to "pay ransom", maybe the ransom is the wedding bill or, an actual dowry ... for instance).

Most of the times, the girl's parent's agree to the marriage because their
daughter has already been "kidnapped" and been a a guys house. So to
keep from any gossip or things like so, they'd agree, even if the daughter disagreed.

But, now, there's mostly kidnapping where the girl's willing to go.
Well i think there were 2 main reason why kidnapping took place.
1- it was because the girl didn't want to get married to the guy
2- the parents didn't approve of the marriage, but like i said before. Because she's
already been kidnapped, they feel there's no choice.

But, marriage also happens without the kidnapping.

Some guys who have big enough courage would tell their father, and from there, his father would bring the guys'
uncles to the girls house and ask for her hand in marriage.

Also, now there are alot of Hmong people who are Christians so American weddings take place now.
From a proposal to engagement to marriage.


But as for dates, the 2 family's set it up.

Thank you for elaborating on a ceremony few non-Hmong would otherwise get to experience themselves.  Don't forget to enjoy yourself during those festivities.

[anotherlaujgirl]

You're welcome.

[dwiley11]

I liked it once,  But if someone wants out the other pays forever.  So I will never do it again

[mx3madman]

 I just recently had a family member get married..