Cute duck joke

[cateyes1]

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint and ham sandwhich

the bar man looks at him and says,

"Hang on! You're a "I see your eyes are working,duck."

" replies the duck.

"And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck.

"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich
please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that,"
Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.

"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.

What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road,"
Explains the duck.

"I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants
to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper
from his bag and proceeds to read it.
 
So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids
the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks...

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to
him
 
"You're with the circus, aren't you?  Well, I know this duck that could
be just brilliant in your circus. He talks,drinks beer, eats sandwiches,
reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvelous,"
says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.

"Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,

"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying
really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job,"
Says the duck.

"Where is it?"

"At the circus,"
Says the barman.

"The circus?"
Repeats the duck.

"That's right,"
Replies the barman.

"The circus?"
The duck asks again.
With the big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who
live in caravans?" says the duck.

Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in
the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . ..
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"What the **** would they want with a plasterer??!"

[natashaspy]

LOL now that's cute

[falcon9]

LOL now that's cute

Garbled but, a little cute once parsed.  This one can't really be called "cute", however .......

"A guy tells a bartender, “I’ll bet you 100 bucks I can pee in this cup from five feet away without missing a drop.” The bartender takes the bet.
 
The man misses horribly, hitting pretty much everything except the cup.
 
The bartender laughs and the man pays him the money.
 
Then the bartender sees the man’s friends laughing by the pool table, and he asks the man what is so funny.
 
The man says, “I bet them 1,000 bucks I would pee all over your bar and you wouldn’t try to stop me.” "

[cateyes1]

LOL now that's cute

Garbled but, a little cute once parsed.  This one can't really be called "cute", however .......

"A guy tells a bartender, “I’ll bet you 100 bucks I can pee in this cup from five feet away without missing a drop.” The bartender takes the bet.
 
The man misses horribly, hitting pretty much everything except the cup.
 
The bartender laughs and the man pays him the money.
 
Then the bartender sees the man’s friends laughing by the pool table, and he asks the man what is so funny.
 
The man says, “I bet them 1,000 bucks I would pee all over your bar and you wouldn’t try to stop me.” "

remind me to laugh later hahaha, ok that was semi cute hehe

[pkrahmer]

That's cute .Thanks for the laugh!
Have a great Day!

[sgluckadoo]

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint and ham sandwhich

the bar man looks at him and says,

"Hang on! You're a "I see your eyes are working,duck."

" replies the duck.

"And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck.

"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich
please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that,"
Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.

"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.

What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road,"
Explains the duck.

"I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants
to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper
from his bag and proceeds to read it.
 
So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids
the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks...

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to
him
 
"You're with the circus, aren't you?  Well, I know this duck that could
be just brilliant in your circus. He talks,drinks beer, eats sandwiches,
reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvelous,"
says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.

"Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,

"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying
really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job,"
Says the duck.

"Where is it?"

"At the circus,"
Says the barman.

"The circus?"
Repeats the duck.

"That's right,"
Replies the barman.

"The circus?"
The duck asks again.
With the big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who
live in caravans?" says the duck.

Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in
the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . ..
>  .
> >
>  .
> >
  > >
>  .
> >
   > >
>  .
> >
  > >






"What the **** would they want with a plasterer??!"

so stupid but i am laughing so hard. i could not figure out where it was going, that last line cracked me up (or should I say Quacked me up!)...

[jnjmolly]

Lol thats a cute one!! I love the posts that are about jokes!!! I love learning new ones all the time!!! Fusion is a great place to learn them!

[cateyes1]

LOL now that's cute

Garbled but, a little cute once parsed.  This one can't really be called "cute", however .......

"A guy tells a bartender, “I’ll bet you 100 bucks I can pee in this cup from five feet away without missing a drop.” The bartender takes the bet.
 
The man misses horribly, hitting pretty much everything except the cup.
 
The bartender laughs and the man pays him the money.
 
Then the bartender sees the man’s friends laughing by the pool table, and he asks the man what is so funny.
 
The man says, “I bet them 1,000 bucks I would pee all over your bar and you wouldn’t try to stop me.” "

Falcon that one is soooooo old!!.......I bet you laughed at mine comeon admit it..........ya'll come back now ya hear

[falcon9]

Falcon that one is soooooo old!!.......I bet you laughed at mine comeon admit it..........ya'll come back now ya hear

Many jokes are old ones; as this one may be:

"Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him ...
 
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis."
--anon.

[joyroos18]

lmbo adorable

[vicogden]

It took a while to get to the punch line, but it was worth it!  Very clever...