men don't listen

[krissi79]

My hubby and i have a friend from church who is single. His ex wife has came back into his life. He ran right to her and is helping her move and taking her places. she did him so wrong in the past. Our pastor who we are all friends with even stated she is bad news for him. Should we just let him stumble or should we tell him how we see him heading down the wrong path AGAIN?

[tigerlilly01]

You may advise him to be careful and not fall into a trap because he is lonely but it IS his decision and he is a old enough to make his own decisions.  People DO change and maybe she truly wants him back in her life.  I of course don't know the whole situation but I wouldn't say TOO much to him because it may just make him have hard feelings toward you or keep him from church, etc.  which is the last thing that needs to happen.  Pray for him and for his ex ... God can do anything!   

[sammywantsya]

i feel you lol my hubby dont listen that well too. little things gets me at times

[kolathegreat]

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT COULD HAPPEN

[lorettahknox]

She may be bad news but, from what you're saying about his behavior I don't think he wants to hear it. Tread carefully you may be right but it may cost you the relationship if you push him. Friends are well meaning but, their relationship intimacies are still private. My advice is to be supportive of him but do not interfere if he wants advice...
Remember the old saying "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread" stay out of it.

[dreamyxo]

You can talk to him until you're blue in the face but he's going to do what he wants to do.  If you feel you have to get it off your chest tell him how you feel then let it go and don't say another word.

[mintopewku]

I agree with some of the previous statements.  The man is grown, and fair or not often the messenger is whom gets shot.
If you are concern, try helping.  I mean if the ex needs help moving things, help your friend so he isn't alone.  And he will be able to see how she treats others.  So the manipulation isn't has strong.

[pvs_19857]

You should build trust in him so that he can listen to you. You should show responsibility, maturity and intelligence in rlation and once he thinks yes this is the right woman, he will listen to you. And if he does not then you choose your way and let him feel the importance of you

[southernhorizons]

It's not just men. I've seen women in similar situations, and they don't listen to reason any more than men do! When it comes to relationships, "love is blind," and somehow the trouble that we can see so clearly isn't visible to them.

[lvstephanie]

It's not just men. I've seen women in similar situations, and they don't listen to reason any more than men do! When it comes to relationships, "love is blind," and somehow the trouble that we can see so clearly isn't visible to them.

I agree that women can be just as blind-in-love as men... One of our friends was married with a man that kept cheating on her, and finally he left her for another, younger woman. While they were apart, she kept slamming him by saying how much happier she was with him out of her life, etc. But then the other woman kicked him out and he ended up coming back to our friend who let him stay with her (supposedly until he could find his own place to live), and soon we started seeing them go out to dinner or the bars together. Her whole mindset of how much happier she was without him in her life evaporated, and she started accepting his excuses. It is so unfortunate, but I'm thinking she'll end up right back with him, and he'll be good for a while but then go back to his cheating ways. Sometimes I think people are too worried about being alone that they will get into a relationship just to have a relationship even if that person they're with isn't right for them.

[KSimonetti92]

My brother-in-law is like this... It's all in one ear and out the other. His ex really messed up his life. I mean completely destroyed it. He even tried to end his life over it.. unsuccessfully, thank God! But when she moved back in town, he fell all over himself for her attention, and she's acting just the same way, intentionally trying to hurt him. Some guys, they just don't GET it, do they? It's sweet the amount of devotion he has towards this girl, but he's just setting himself up for another heartbreak. Oo, well. What can ya do? 

[renin23]

it goes both ways i talk to my wife and she dont listen

[loriecampbell]

I would point blank ask him if she's changed that much for him to trust her again. Hear what he has to say then leave it alone. Be a friend to him and him alone if you know for a fact she's up to no good. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way. They want to believe so much that things have changed.

[falcon9]

It's not just men. I've seen women in similar situations, and they don't listen to reason any more than men do! When it comes to relationships, "love is blind," and somehow the trouble that we can see so clearly isn't visible to them.

Believe it or not, I'd agree with your observations here.  If communications are an important key to relationships, (and they are), then learning how to more effectively communicate would be up to all parties involved.  Beginning with establishing a consensus of context and building on that basis is a start on that process.

[Abrupt]

What I tend to tell my friends (have in a few cases in the past with similar relationship issues with their exes) is something along the lines of "I hope she rips your heart out again so I can remind you of it every time I see you over the next year", or something similar.  My friends know that I will do it and that I will have a grand time doing it also.  It isn't that it necessarily works to convince them to use better judgement, but at least when/if it goes wrong they will not come to me crying about it.