I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH HOUSEWORK

[Tresbn00]

There could be worse problems, I suppose.  Having a roof over the area that you can't keep up with housework is one blessing that a percentage ofpeople aren't able to enjoy.  Having the time to attempt doing housework is a luxury that few can afford. Having a family is a gift that some people have lost, never had or may never know.  I would place a lower value on the housework and embrace all that you have been given and earned.  A lazy fiance is part of the equation that can be subtracted but I have a feeling that over fifty percent of your time with him is special enough to put up with his idiosyncracies.

[sportsjb2]

ya its hard, you have to use good time management!

[BK_Adores_Chase]

Actually, involving your little ones is a good way to keep them entertained.  I give mine a wet paper towel and ask them to wipe things like the baseboards, door knobs, light switches, anything like that.  They really feel like they help, and they aren't using any cleaners that will hurt them.  But just doing a little at a time really makes a difference.  Try setting a timer for 10 minutes and see how much you can get done in that amount of time.  If your fiancee won't help now, don't expect that to change when you get married.  As long as that arrangement works for both of you, then ok.  Otherwise, you need to have a serious talk with him.  Don't yell and don't attack him, just ask him nicely if he would help you do (be specific).  And lastly, don't stress about it.  It's probably only bad to you. 

"it's probably only bad to you" ...you could be right because every time someone I visit says that about their own house I always think they're crazy and tell them it's not that bad...which, it isn't.

It doesn't really bother me that my fiance doesn't help because he has a really stressful job and I also like things done my way, but after having surgery I also realized that, help, wether done my way or not, is greatly appreciated...I usually give him a quick task on days that I work and if he doesn't get to it I don't stress about it.

Your fiance is a lazy bum he is not your child if he makes a mess he needs to clean it up.  Tell him if he doesn't want to help you clean he needs to hire a maid at least once a month.  He needs a good kick in the you know what.  Your son is old enough to help a little.  How about getting him to pick up his toys and other little stuff off the floor.  Give him a piggy bank if he doesn't already have one and give him little chores like picking up his toys and other things and give him some change when he's done he can put them in his bank.  At the end of the month take him to the dollar store so he can pick out a toy or candy or something with the money he earned.

Are there any colleges in your area?  Put up an ad for a mother's helper.  You can get a college student to come help you once a week and pay them for a few hours to help clean. 

OMG it's so funny (in a way) because right after I read your fiance is a bum, he said "babe, will you get me a pillow, a blanket, and a drink.." and I'm like "......you were just up...why didn't you grab it (I wasn't being bitchy, just matter of fact)...yeah, things like that, like one time he was standing in the kitchen and he asked me to get him a drink....it's like, REALLY?  ARE YOU SERIOUS? ... as for my little guy, he has a chore list he completes in the morning which consists of swiffering the floors for 3 minutes, putting his clothes in the hamper, "making his bed"...at night he is responsible for picking up the toys.  He gets stars every day and when he reaches a total of 100 stars he gets to pick a prize out of the "treasure chest"

The clutter gets me    I'm never sure what is important and what really should be trashed.  Seems like everything that has a flat surface grows clutter.  I think I'll take a clue from my 1st daughter-in-law and just throw everything away.  I could do that in less than 10 minutes!

LMAO..that could definitly do the trick

DREAMYXO - actually, after surgery I did get paper plates and THANK THE LORD FOR THAT!!!

[lgemini]

I would ask my family to help and your spouse can as well.  It is so much you can do and you need help.  Good luck to you.

[kapeh12]

I'm a big believer in the 4 minute "commercial break" cleaning.  I tend to watch a lot of TV at night, and I do my most needed clean-up tasks during the commercials.  Works really well for dishes: com break 1 - fill dishwasher and sink for hand wash, soak first batch, com break 2 - wash/rinse dishes in sink, load next round - repeat until done. 

Same with other areas - one night it's the bathroom, next night it's tackling the pile of clothes in the bedroom.

It's amazing how much you can do during an evening of commercials - plus it doesn't feel like you really worked that hard to get it done.

When things get really out of hand, I do tend to write down a quick list of the major areas of attack to better focus which I need to get first. 

Plus I tend to make almost a game of it - how much can I get done in 3-4 minutes and be back in time to watch the next segment of my show!

I'm easily entertained.   

[patti4me]

I have a problem of keeping up with housework too, but for different reasons.  I retired in 2010 so I could relax after a very stressful job. But, as luck would have it, there was no relaxing for me; our youngest daughter announced she was pregnant right before I retired but I had already turned in my paperwork to retire so I did go on and retire.  But, when her baby was born she asked if I would keep the baby till she was old enough for daycare.  I agreed and that baby is now 13 mos. old and I'm still keeping her cause my daughter can't bear the thought of leaving her with anyone else.  Then, our middle daughter got divorced and moved back to our town with her 2 kids and couldn't afford daycare.  So guess who keeps them?  I'm glad to be able to help my girls but some days its almost more than this old lady can bear.  Anyway, my housework sure suffers all week and weekends I am just too give out to do much; I only do what is necessary to keep my house from being referred to as a pig stye!  I know there are lots of other grandparents doing the same as I am, but every once in a while I just have to have a pity party. 

[lannl]

I can't keep up with my housework either. I am going to take the 10 miniute advice. My sister suggested 15 minutes. I do not have any kids to bribe. I do not think I could take a man around that would not help me even after I just had surgery. That seems pretty abusive to me.

[kqa]

Definitely get the kids involved as much as they can and don't allow them to leave a mess and toys all over the place.  It's too bad that your fiance doesn't care.  Pick up and clean up as you go.  Make it a habit to get this under control on a daily basis.

[gaylasue]

I'm saving my housework for retirement.  I'll need something to do then.

[jordandog]

I'm saving my housework for retirement.  I'll need something to do then.

Haha! I think I'll have to use that one the next time my home is looking as if it is 'in need of attention'. I've been living by the 'motto', "There's plenty of time to sleep when I am dead.", for the last ~30 years, so your's seems to be compatible with that one....

[erinelise2]

Start training your kids now.  I didn't do a very good job of that and now that they are tweens and young teenagers and it is a constant battle.  I don't know if you can train a grown man.  You have to be very specific with men on what you want help with.  I think men and women just look at things differently and what might just seem super obvious to us would never occur to them.  And vice versa!

There's a great website called Flylady where she helps you set up schedules gives great tips and shortcuts.

Take care of yourself and recover quickly.

[vmcutshall]

I had three small kids and they had chores to do when I did my housework. They would get paid each day when they would help. For instance laundry day the would unload the dryer for me into a basket and they were really big on helping because at the end of each week they had  .50 cents to  spend or save for something they really wanted. It not only taught them about money and saving it kept them occupied while I cleaned. I had certain days to do certain tasks. My children were 2, 3, and 4. When I mopped they had books to read or look at and they stayed in the living room. When I did dishes they each had something to unload out of the dishwasher, onto the counter top so I could load the dirty dishes. I put the dishes away,  and praised them for what good workers they were and gave them some pennies. You have find your own solution but I would definitely talk with your fiance about his helping out in the house.

[Storm61115]

yeah i hear ya. there are some days that i dont want to do anything. today my back hurts like i'm gonna start my period so i feel icky.

[bretay]

I have a hard time myself.It's just me and my husband at home.But I keep my 2 granddaughters ages 7 and 10.The 10 yr old goes through dishes and the 7 yr old,well it's like the papers say here she comes lets hit the floor.They do help out,but it seems like I never get done.

[dmahoney]

Just a word to the wise BK, If you dont like something about your fiancee now, it will only get worse after marriage. Dont expect him to change.