Just Venting

[marcee30]

...ugh how do I feel? I am often confused about my purpose in life because it seems to be taking so long to get there. Sometimes I think what have I done to deserve just getting by. That is unacceptable for me yet ever door seems to slam in my face no matter how hard I try. But what I considered my hardest may not be hard enough to others not that what any thinks about me matter for real. But maybe it should? I got somethings going for me...in school on the presidents list. I will be graduating in September of this year and plan to go back for my bachelors. I have to start my intern by next quarter and I have absolutely nowhere to do them. Here lies another dilemma. Where I live you have to have a car to get around and currently my license are suspended honestly due to know fault of my own. It was an EX Bf of mine who figured who could do what he want because I was out of town. Anyway it's hard to get around to look for a place to intern I have a few avenues to pursue that I am praying have a positive outcome so that I want have go to far. I also just applied for a new position at a company with better pay and hours and the one person I could depend on was in a car accident a couple of weeks ago nothing serious but he no longer has his car. What am I going to do? I don't know but I will not give up and I will not lose my faith......Just venting

[samrhett2]

I am honestly sorry.  I have felt as down as you do right now from time to time.  My situations may have not been exactly the same, but I know that feeling.  Unfortunately you have to keep trying.  I usually allow myself some time to feel bad about whatever is happening but then I have to pick myself up and go on.  It is very scary and so it is safer to sit still and do nothing.

Ironically at 50 I also need to do an internship to graduate.  I went back to school a few years ago and would have been done a long time ago but I cannot find anywhere to do an internship either.  I am not sure what I can do about it.  You would think that people would love free help, but I am finding that in the healthcare industry the practice or clinic has liability issues and therefore does not want to take students unless they have a signed agreement from the school which my school won't do.  So I am in limbo.

I am glad you wrote.  I think sometimes that helps.  Just know that I listened and that I am praying things will get better soon.  Often it is my son that keeps me going when I wish I could quit.  He needs me so I have to keep trying.

[Abrupt]

Remember your worth.  Remember your strength.  You sound determined to never give up and I think that is most of what you need right there.  I know it is difficult to throw your worries away, but you shouldn't burden yourself overly without it absolutely being necessary.  If you cannot find alternate transportation and the distance is too great or dangerous to walk it then you may have to contact them and explain and possibly pull yourself from the position for the time being -- just whatever you do go easy on yourself and remember to treat yourself with the same kindness/respect/advice you would give another if they were in your situation.

I have been in some tough spots in my time and I actually enjoyed the most difficult of them (now I didn't intentionally inject myself into making things the most difficult as they could be, but when I was met with such I adapted and toughened my resilience).  Once in a similar situation as yourself regarding the loss of transportation and a new job I was finding myself getting up for work two hours earlier in order to walk the 10 miles I need to travel (I could easily sustain a 5 mile an hour walk, at least for only 2 hours but I know that is a bit much for many people).  Something about such troubles always put a smile on my face -- maybe it was part of the male "conquering something" type thinking -- but I always enjoyed overcoming adversity.  I was careful to only allow myself to experience joy over the walk and I would never indulge in self pity or allow myself to feel angry about the situation (for instance the day it unexpectedly rained when none was called for and I had no rain gear or umbrella with me at about the halfway part of the walk).

I suspect that regardless of what happens in the immediate that you will do quite well in the long run so just go easy on yourself in the meantime and best of luck to you.

[marcee30]

I am honestly sorry.  I have felt as down as you do right now from time to time.  My situations may have not been exactly the same, but I know that feeling.  Unfortunately you have to keep trying.  I usually allow myself some time to feel bad about whatever is happening but then I have to pick myself up and go on.  It is very scary and so it is safer to sit still and do nothing.

Ironically at 50 I also need to do an internship to graduate.  I went back to school a few years ago and would have been done a long time ago but I cannot find anywhere to do an internship either.  I am not sure what I can do about it.  You would think that people would love free help, but I am finding that in the healthcare industry the practice or clinic has liability issues and therefore does not want to take students unless they have a signed agreement from the school which my school won't do.  So I am in limbo.

I am glad you wrote.  I think sometimes that helps.  Just know that I listened and that I am praying things will get better soon.  Often it is my son that keeps me going when I wish I could quit.  He needs me so I have to keep trying.

I here ya on the down time, I do the same. Its good to vent from time to time and to cry. Form me it makes me feel lighter, relieved and all the while I am praying to God. As far as school goes, I thought my school had contract sets up for student but apparently not because I have to I have to find my own place, and like you said you would think they would appreciate the free help. I'm going into HRM but due to the vehicle situation my options are limited and of course what is available is way out the way.
My son is a lot of inspiration for me as well, I love him to pieces. well thank you for your kinds words, you are in my prayers as well...God bless

[marcee30]

Remember your worth.  Remember your strength.  You sound determined to never give up and I think that is most of what you need right there.  I know it is difficult to throw your worries away, but you shouldn't burden yourself overly without it absolutely being necessary.  If you cannot find alternate transportation and the distance is too great or dangerous to walk it then you may have to contact them and explain and possibly pull yourself from the position for the time being -- just whatever you do go easy on yourself and remember to treat yourself with the same kindness/respect/advice you would give another if they were in your situation.

I have been in some tough spots in my time and I actually enjoyed the most difficult of them (now I didn't intentionally inject myself into making things the most difficult as they could be, but when I was met with such I adapted and toughened my resilience).  Once in a similar situation as yourself regarding the loss of transportation and a new job I was finding myself getting up for work two hours earlier in order to walk the 10 miles I need to travel (I could easily sustain a 5 mile an hour walk, at least for only 2 hours but I know that is a bit much for many people).  Something about such troubles always put a smile on my face -- maybe it was part of the male "conquering something" type thinking -- but I always enjoyed overcoming adversity.  I was careful to only allow myself to experience joy over the walk and I would never indulge in self pity or allow myself to feel angry about the situation (for instance the day it unexpectedly rained when none was called for and I had no rain gear or umbrella with me at about the halfway part of the walk).

I suspect that regardless of what happens in the immediate that you will do quite well in the long run so just go easy on yourself in the meantime and best of luck to you.

Believe me when I say I know a 10 mile walk...Thank you for your kinds words

[bearjake]

DONT GIVE UP. KEEP MOVING ON. GET THROUGH EACH DAY AND TOMORROW YOU WILL BE THAT MUCH CLOSER TO GETTING WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. LIFE IS HARD. YOU SEEM TO BE GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. HEAVEN WILL PROTECT THE WORKING WOMAN. THATS WHAT MY GRANDMOTHER ALWAYS SAYS! SHES NEVER WRONG! GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

[blondie71]

Right now it ruff, I get down and out as well.  I am sorry to hear that you all who are having problems with internship I am not sure how all that works but I hope the best for all of you.  Its hard to even find jobs out there.  I need to make money but with my limitations no one will hire me so I just rely on the little money my husband gets from SSI.  I feel your pain.

[plennis]

  I understand how you feel, but you are doing the only thing you can do,  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and go on.  I keep telling myself, tomorrow is going to be a little better, and each day after a little better and so it will be for you too!  Look at how far you have already come.  As Tiny Tim says   "God Bless us, everyone!"