received distress email frm friend her hubby's cheatin!She doesn't understand

[tantricia44]

why, the home wrecker *bleep* looks just like her from head to toe! Their styles are even alike! I don't know what to tell her since, I have no experience in this area. So, why would a spouse go out & cheat w/some 1 that is exactly like the spouse he or she is cheating on?Isn't the reason for cheating is b/c you're bored or don't get along w/what's at home? So, why would you pick up the same thing as what you've gotten bored w/@ home?

Please, anyone your input is needed so I can try to help my poor friend!

[maxinmotion]

Just you don't get caught up in the middle of that relationship. Be there for your friend but please don't try to fix it for her. If that relationship is to be it will be. Maybe they need a little time apart to fix themselves. If you give the wrong advice something you do or say may hurt in the long run.

There are always two sides to a story and if you are a friend to the both of them you may be to close to give advice, just be careful with this one.

[dreamyxo]

Everyone has a type.  She may have the same general look "type" as the wife but she is a different person with a different personality and different things to offer so they may look alike but not act alike and that may be what attracted the husband to cheat with her.

[loulizlee]

I agree with both the previous comments.  I learned a long time ago NEVER to try to give advice to a wife or girlfriend of a man who cheats.  They usually go back to them in the end, and you will be the one who has said "bad" things about the husband or boyfriend.  Tell her you are there for her, but don't try to give advice.

[pirewolf]

I agree with all the above with some added. Not all of them do go back, but that doesn't matter because they never actually listen to you. I had a friend who said her hubby had cheated a while ago, and if she caught him ever cheating again then she would leave. He volunteered to go to Korea for a year, knowing she can't go to. Then he signed up for a cheating site on their joint email. Some girl started sending him emails to meet up and she said she was going to leave. He said he didn't do it and she believed him, even though she had lots of proof and he could explain if she called him tomorrow. Then the next day he said that she only slept in his bed cause he missed my friend so much. I also told he that he had hit on my and my sister already and that she atleast needed to stop pretending and deal with it. Stay, don't stay. Whatever, but don't believe something that not true or nothing will change. I find out later that she never cared he was cheating because she was too. The only got married because she is catholic and had gotten herself prego by him. Neither of them are happy and they don't want to be married, but they don't want to get a divorce. So they just lie to each other. So don't get involved unless it is impartial. Because you need both sides to even know what is going on, and even if you are right people only see what they want.

[livelife1234]

I think you should support your friend in any decision she makes but do not make it for her.  She needs to make the best decision for her; whether to stay and work it out or leave. Many times people get in the middle of someone relationship just to the one left out in the end.  Be there and listen to your friend and give only constructive advice if she asks; don't just offer your opinion or what you would do if you were her bc you are not

[CharmedPhoenix]

I once heard an expert on tv say that the reason men cheat is to get something they're not getting at home.  That does not necessarily mean sex.  It could mean respect or appreciation.

I agree with the others that you cannot fix this for her, but you can be there for her and validate how she feels.