PAlease can someone help me to understand?

[cateyes1]

I have known my friend for 40 years. She is the type that she wont call you unless you call her first UGH. She is a nurse and works right down the hall to where my primary Dr is and I ALWAYS try and make a visit to her when I see my Dr. well yesterday I went to see my Dr and as usual I asked to see her after. granted I maybe only called her a couple times last year, so anyways she says to me, " all I asked was for you to call me, have a nice day and then walked away" prior to that we chatted for a few moments and I told her how I went to my Mom and Dads grave a few weeks ago and where she only lives like 2 minutes away I droped by her house (being in the area) altho her car was there she didnt answer. well she did tell me she was home and knew I dropped by but she didnt answer the door because I didnt call her first grrrrrrrr...I told her I was in the area after going to see my Mom and Dad so I thought i'd drop by and say hello. her response was " oh you werent just coming to see me you just happened to be in the area" THAT is when she said "all I ask was for you to call me" and then turned and walked away....now my question to ANYONE who will answer is? is it me? or does SHE have issues?....thank you!!

[mawhite63]

Cateyes I'm not really sure I understand what she is upset about.

Is she upset because you're not calling her first before you stop by to see her at home or at work? If that's the case, then I can understand that, I personally don't like people coming by my house without calling first, and someone coming to see me when I'm at work would be something I wouldn't want at any time.

If that's what she's upset about, then I get it but if she's upset simply because you didn't call her when she's perfectly able to make a phone call herself, well then that sounds like someone who I wouldn't have as a friend.

[ptfunds]

Hi Cateyes...I'm with your prior responder. I, too, do not like it when people stop by unannounced. If you are planning to be in her area or seeing your doctor, why not give her a "heads up" call and check in with her before stopping by. It could be that she has made this request before and is frustrated that you haven't complied with her request. Why not check in with her (by phone or drop her a note/email) and see if that is the problem. No need to speculate - just ask.

[cateyes1]

Cateyes I'm not really sure I understand what she is upset about.

Is she upset because you're not calling her first before you stop by to see her at home or at work? If that's the case, then I can understand that, I personally don't like people coming by my house without calling first, and someone coming to see me when I'm at work would be something I wouldn't want at any time.

If that's what she's upset about, then I get it but if she's upset simply because you didn't call her when she's perfectly able to make a phone call herself, well then that sounds like someone who I wouldn't have as a friend.

Mawhite63, she is upset that I dont call her in general (which I have) I told her the phone calling works both ways but that doesnt matter to her she wants me to ALWAYS call her......even when I call her i'll say "ok you owe ME a call now" but she NEVER calls!!

[jordandog]

granted I maybe only called her a couple times last year

This sounds to me as if you are not really close friends anyway. I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about what happened. If you really want to know what bothered her, ask via a phone call to her. At least you'll know if it is worth calling a 'couple times' in 2012.

[cateyes1]

granted I maybe only called her a couple times last year

This sounds to me as if you are not really close friends anyway. I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about what happened. If you really want to know what bothered her, ask via a phone call to her. At least you'll know if it is worth calling a 'couple times' in 2012.

Hi Jordan, I thought we were close. she is my sons Godmother, she was my maid of honor, but she has this thing that I need to be the one to call her ALWAYS. I have done so much for this woman and her family especially when her Mom passed away. she makes me not want to call her for the way she is that is only why I called her 2 times last year...alot of my friends tell me its her but I tend to dwell on things and make myself nuts lol...maybe I should just let go..I dont know..I tried calling her home last night but she wont answer her phone now...oh well

[Abrupt]

Some people just don't have much room or time for other things in their life.  Such people often schedule things or at least present it to themselves as if it were scheduled and allotted.  It might seem a bit unusual to most but that is just the way some people are or become and although it can be more difficult to associate with such people, it is just how it will be unless the change.

[masked_brown_guy]

some people are just not down to have unplanned meet ups. If think about it there really isn't a point if you two talk on the phone and know each other well unless you two are planning to do something.

[lorettahknox]

I think you should rethink this relationship. I don't know about you but I love my friends they are precious to me and I adore them. I feel it is very considerate if they call me before they come over but I would never refuse them access to my home if they didn't. I think when someone is a really good friend you are very considerate of their feelings and you don't say off color things to them. She was mean to you. You took the time to drop by and instead of her celebrating the moments she could have spent with you she acted nasty. You didn't do anything to her and FYI your life is just as important to you as her life is to her. She acted like you are something she scraped off the bottom of her shoe. You seem very nice to me, you took time to see her when you were busy seeing your doctor and when you were attending to your parents. That was nice. You stopped over to see her because you wanted to be with her. That was nice. Unless she is menopausal ( which is mild insanity) I would say she is suffering from a mild case of bitchitis in which case you should ignore her completely indefinitely until she comes to her senses.

[jwallbank]

This person seems to have something else going on. Has she been this way all these years you have known her??If you explained to her that you were in the area Visiting your Mom, I would think she would understand that you wanted someone to talk too. If she is that rude and self centered about her feelings, maybe like an other person mentioned, you may want to rethink your friendship with her. I lost a relationship with a friend of 20 years because he was ruining his life and he would not listen to anyone. I just gave up on him. It sound mean but, sometimes it is not worth the effort, if the people you are trying to save a relationship with, does not want to hear you!!

[robin1128]

Hi I think I would just ask her does she have a problem with you or what? Then said all I ask is for you to call me and walk away. Good luck

[dreamyxo]

I personally don't like talking on the phone so maybe she is the same way.  I would also still like people to call before they drop by however if they were my friend I would still welcome the visit and wouldn't not let them in the house just because they didn't call especially if they are my friend.  That is extremely rude and weird.  Regardless, relationships work both ways.  If she is not willing to put in the effort to maintain your friendship I'd say kick her to the curb.

[mardukblood2009]

I have or had a similar experience. This can't be the first time your friend has acted like this. It has to be an on going thing whether you are aware of it or not. It sounds like she is jealous of you. It could really be anything. I would move on. There are 7 billion other people in the world, I am sure you can find someone else to be friends with or a least talk to.
 

[noirlupe]

sounds to me like she has issues.  And you are better off without her.

[sherryinutah]

I have known my friend for 40 years. She is the type that she wont call you unless you call her first UGH. She is a nurse and works right down the hall to where my primary Dr is and I ALWAYS try and make a visit to her when I see my Dr. well yesterday I went to see my Dr and as usual I asked to see her after. granted I maybe only called her a couple times last year, so anyways she says to me, " all I asked was for you to call me, have a nice day and then walked away" prior to that we chatted for a few moments and I told her how I went to my Mom and Dads grave a few weeks ago and where she only lives like 2 minutes away I droped by her house (being in the area) altho her car was there she didnt answer. well she did tell me she was home and knew I dropped by but she didnt answer the door because I didnt call her first grrrrrrrr...I told her I was in the area after going to see my Mom and Dad so I thought i'd drop by and say hello. her response was " oh you werent just coming to see me you just happened to be in the area" THAT is when she said "all I ask was for you to call me" and then turned and walked away....now my question to ANYONE who will answer is? is it me? or does SHE have issues?....thank you!!

I think it sounds like your friend is high maintenance.  If I were you I'd spend time calling people who are easier to deal with.