ok remember me everyone the one who lost her husband back in may 22

[latina1129]

I need to vent , I been really struggling and trying to deal with my husbands death, now i been doing things to keep my mind occupied, sometimes it helps but sometimes the memories are still there, I have not been getting much luck you see my husband was the provider, noe i have been having bad luck with jobs, my poor son is working and he is trying to hold down all the weight, now he is paying the rent and the other bills, thank god for food stamps but i recertification is coming up and hope i wont get denied, i still owe another $165.00 dollars to my landlord which I dont know where the H*LL im going to get it, now my son tells me they are cutting hours at work.  My light bill just came in where the H*LL im gonna get the money for that too. im going through some rough SH*T...just needed to vent, My mind has been thinking about doing things I dont want to do jus t to get the money but my husband will come from his grave and take me and I dont want that...I dont know what to do, I ask god for help  ask my husband for help I need to see some light somewhere or im gonna go nuts....thanks all for reading just needed to vent....
From Latina1129-AKA-Arlene

[jcribb16]

Arlene,

I am so sorry you are going through this rough time.  It's hard enough to go through mourning your loved one without all these other issues coming up.  I'm glad your son is helping the best he can, considering what he's dealing with, financially, himself.  It sounds like you two have a close mother/son friendship.

Is there any way you can apply for unemployment?  I don't know your circumstances about your job history.  I hope things will stay in your favor with the food stamps.  I recently lost my job due to cutbacks and overloaded with medical bills due to health issues.  I called and spoke with each company, individually, about what happened, and that I was in a hardship, and could they work with me.  They have been very kind and helpful with me.  Do you think your landlord might would do the same if you were to sit down and explain all you are going through.  Maybe he could reduce your payment temporarily?  Of course, he's trying to make a living, too, so you never know how they will react.  Can you speak with the light bill company, too, about your hardship?

I don't know if I've been of any help, but I can relate to the financial problems since I'm going through it myself.  Vent anytime you want - if it helps you, that's good.  There are a lot of caring people in here, too, that totally understand where you are because of their own issues and their compassion.  I really hope and pray it gets better for you.  I'll check in again.  Take care of yourself, health-wise, too.

Julie 

[mc1962]

I am sorry for your loss and understand.  I recently lost someone and know what you are going through.  Sometimes when you need a job you can CREATE one, have you tried to make up some flyers and do house cleaning? Caregiver for the elderly? Put some ads on Craigslist and see if you can get something to help you pay the bills.  You might try the local churchs and see if they have any leads...........Good Luck!

[tjshorty]

So sorry.  I know, it just never seems to give you a break.  Best wishes.

[robin1128]

I'm very sorry for your lost. Just keep your chin up.

[mawhite63]

Arlene I'm so sorry, all these added stresses just make it so much harder.

Have you tried contacting the United Way or Salvation Army for temporary electric and rent assistance?

[cateyes1]

Hi Arlene, AGAIN sorry for the loss of your hubby I lost mine as well and know how rough it could be....Dont go and do anything stupid or you're just digging a deeper hole for yourself. Try all the other suggestions others have made...you have a loving caring son too...maybe you can sell some things on ebay my daughter did very well doing that and helped with the bills and things...I wish you luck, but AGAIN please dont do anything you may regret later on...things will work out for you God is good!!

[Drea11301]

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please don't do anything that will land you in trouble or something that you will definitely regreat doing. Try going to any church that offers assistance. I do know that sometimes social services will assist with some of the utility bills and rent. Here, Shore Up assists with utility bills. Try Shore Up, Social Services, local churches. If you have a Joseph House, try them. That's all I can think of right now. Good luck. I am sure something will come your way!

[dreamyxo]

Why don't you work?  You can't expect people to take care of you all the time.  I'm sorry for your loss and what happened to you but you need to learn to stand on your own two feet at some point.  God forbid anything happen to your son then where would you be?  Go register at a temp agency, give blood, babysit, walk dogs,  deliver pizzas, rent out your room.  Look in cragslist and see what you can apply for. 

[jcribb16]

Why don't you work?  You can't expect people to take care of you all the time.  I'm sorry for your loss and what happened to you but you need to learn to stand on your own two feet at some point.  God forbid anything happen to your son then where would you be?  Go register at a temp agency, give blood, babysit, walk dogs,  deliver pizzas, rent out your room.  Look in cragslist and see what you can apply for. 

It's only been a month since she lost her husband.  When it's your spouse you've lost, it's not that easy for everyone, like some people think, to hop up move on with life that quickly.  We also don't know what health issues there are that may be involved.  She made the comment at the first of her post and at the end that she just needed to vent.  There were several in here who listened, including yourself, gave her support, and tried to give ideas to help.

By the way, those were some helpful ideas to look at, since I just lost my job.  Thank you!     

[scollontrade]

Hello Arlene,
For short term help you can call 211 in just about everywhere for information on assistance. Also you might try Catholic Charities or Catholic Social Services or Lutheran Social Services or Jewish Family Services. All three help anyone regardless of your faith.

[ladycasshmere]

I am sorrry for your loss.You mentioned that you had food stamps have you tried applying for cash as well. When my mom lost her job she got on the energy assistance program and that really helped.If you hve any items in the house that are not being used you can have a yard sale or put them on ebay.Another thing that may help if you dont already have one is to create a resume.There are sites like monster jobs.com that you can submit your resume to that will find jobs that best suit you.You may even find luck at a temp agency. When I lost my job I struggled to make ends meet.Then I began doing child care.Whatever you do dont give up keep your faith.

[lucky382001]

It is okay you can vent as much as you like here. My husband died in 2004, three months after my mother did and you know what? I was a real mess for awhile.  Time real does help with some things like dealing with your loss but in the meantime you have to work at taking care of the details that sometimes can be time sensitive and make a world of difference in your present life. I am assuming you have already checked to see if your husband had a life insurance policy and set up an appointment to talk to social security? They pay a one time death benefit that isn't much but it all helps as you work things out. I imagine since you are receiving some food stamp benefits that your worker probably has already asked about this. But sometimes it is hard to have enough money before policies and things go through. If your husband was a member of a union or association sometimes they will help you but you have to ask to find out. With the other things...talk to people about your situation so you don't get in trouble for not making payments especially your landlord. Sometimes they can suggest things that we would never think of.   And remember we go through our life day by day .

[swv]

I am so sorry you are going through a rough time! But please do not do anything you will regret; it will only make things so much worse. Hopefully, you can remain on food stamps and see what other services your Dept. of Human Social Services or Human Services can provide to you. I agree with checking around at various churches to see how they can help, have a yard sale or sell things on ebay. Just try to have multiple streams of income coming in to help out with bills. Look online for job openings if you don't have a full time job or if you want to work part time. Best of luck to you!!! Hang in there!!! It Will get better!!!!!!!

[Player54U2]

Arlene, I am sorry for your loss. I am going through very tough times myself. Still trying to find work & etc. The only thing I can say is try social security office, unemployment, salvation army, or community help centers, or ask them to direct you in getting help for what you need, & pray... I will pray for you... May God Bless You & Your Family, & bring you through all this pain & suffering & financial stress, & help make you & your family strong together... Amen...

P.S. Please know things take time, & healing takes time. God only gives you what he knows you can handle. I have lost my Mom & Dad 9 months apart, 2-3 years ago & I still feel the loss, but it is getting better. When I needed help, they were the ones who were there for me & I them, but I believe God has a special plan for the good, & they are not suffering but helping God & others. I believe we are all going to see each other again when it is time. Our love ones who are with God, are now our angels, & want us to be happy, & strong. Honey...Things take time...YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT!!! God Bless You & Your Family Always...
 
                                                                                                                             Sincerely,
                                                                                                                              Michelle