Should you do a room check often in your child's (children) room?

[freepcmoney]

Im only 14 years old and i dont think you should check on children's room unless ur kids are in elementary school. We dont feel comfortable when out parents goes into your room and start going through everything. Its invasion of privacy. Only do it if your REALLY protective or unless they're in elementary school.

First of ALL it is NOT your room. The entire house OR apartment belongs to your parent that is working and paying for it. It is only the room that they let you live in rent free.

It is the Parent's JOB to be your parent and NOT YOUR FRIEND. They are supposed to provide for you, protect you, discipline you, teach you life lessons and personal responsiability. IF they want to ,,,they have the right to look at anything in the room that they let you live in rent free, any time they want to. IF you don't like it, then you can always go rent your own place.

[ttoland8908]

Geeze I take it that you had a heated arguement with your child?? lol I agree with what you say though but you also have to trust your child. If they give you a reason for you to check it for sure but i think they also need there personal space and privacy, but i agree yo have the right anytime you want, but i would suggest to have a reason like they just got into trouble or have been acting up because you don't want your own kids to think that you don't trust them for no reason.

[footemama]

I'm a little confused about why a parent wouldn't let their teenage daughter lock the bathroom door!? I also don't think it's terribly realistic to worry about BB guns and snack packs being laced with poison. I'd love to know how many times you have found that your kids squirt gun is actually a real gun, or discovered poison in your kids snacks or BB's.

Even my parents don't lock the bathroom doors when they go in. For our household it has to do with safety and not having to break down the door if someone had to get in (think medical emergency). We have had a little bit of a problem with my 3-year-old coming and going whenever he wants but we have gotten that to the point where now the only person he walks in on is me. Still working on that one for some reason Mommy apparently doesn't need any privacy.

As for the OP: As my son's room is my room currently he really wouldn't have much say about me looking through it if he was old enough to be concerned. In the future I think that I will continue to peek in on him when I go to bed, going in to get his laundry is a given LOL he is a boy after all and I doubt that laundry will get into a basket (I can try but who knows). He will have to clean his own room etc. That said if I thought that he was drinking or doing drugs it is my house and I will look for proof and talk to him about my concerns. I hope that I will raise him better than that and that I will never have to go searching but you never know and I am not one to say that I would never do something. LOL

[roshelle7]

i didnt check my daughters room very often but now i'm a grandmother so i guess i should have

[jnjmolly]

I do not have children yet, but I think you should if you feel that they are up to no good. If you trust them and you think they are behaving then you can give them more freedom.

[lightningclix]

It depends on what you mean, I have 2 teenage girls, one rule in my house is that no door gets locked, I mean bathroom and bedrooms doors, unless is mine and that depends on the reason why I would do it.    I give them independence up to a point.  I go to their bedrooms to make sure the room is clean, to talk to them or yell at them depending on the situation, to say good night and to make sure they are doing homework.  I go in and out all day during the weekends for laundry and to make sure they cleaned, I do not snoop on their stuff but then they know I would do it if the situation arises, they have no problem with that.  When they work and pay rent then they can have all the privacy they want for now it is my house and my rooms I look thru anything if I think that there is something I should know and they do not tell me, same with their emails and facebook accounts, I will check them if I smell something fishy otherwise they can have their privacy all they want.

I couldn't agree with you more 

I have 6 kids, ranging from 5 to 19. I feel and do the same thing as stated above! As their Mothers it is our responsibility to make sure everything is okay, you know your children better than anyone else in the world (or should anyways...) - If you feel that something is wrong and don't at least look into it, then if something happens you will be blaming yourself...Right?  It is better to be safe than sorry.

I do not step in unless I really feel that I should. My kids and I are very open and honest with each other, but you never know when they might decide to change. Life is too short to not be extra careful! Just don't abuse your power... 

[girlswin2]

Im only 14 years old and i dont think you should check on children's room unless ur kids are in elementary school. We dont feel comfortable when out parents goes into your room and start going through everything. Its invasion of privacy. Only do it if your REALLY protective or unless they're in elementary school.

First of ALL it is NOT your room. The entire house OR apartment belongs to your parent that is working and paying for it. It is only the room that they let you live in rent free.

It is the Parent's JOB to be your parent and NOT YOUR FRIEND. They are supposed to provide for you, protect you, discipline you, teach you life lessons and personal responsiability. IF they want to ,,,they have the right to look at anything in the room that they let you live in rent free, any time they want to. IF you don't like it, then you can always go rent your own place.

No your totally wrong its is not your room its your parent(s) room you just get to stay in it.  When you start paying them to stay in that room then you get a little more privacy.  But I agree with this quote above they are your parents not your friend.  When you get to this stage in your life you will then have to go through the same thing.  You get privacy when you move out.

[sarabtrayior]

I go around and if I found anything illegal, you can be sure that I would check my child's room with a fine tooth comb...and your kids shouldn't be doing anything illegal so they should not be unhappy when they were caught... it's better than going to jail!!!

[Barbaralynne]

Depends on the motive= if your just checking to make sure they are safe-of course-I found that even after they had their own place if I visited they expected me to check the house-rooms, doors, windows- it was part of a routine that makes them feel secure. But if you are just trying to catch them at something,they need your trust,or they will not confide in you

[sigmapi1501]

the way the world is today. if you did not do a room check you would not be a good parent. people can put drugs in your childrens favorite snack. a play gun might be a real gun. even a b b gun can be laced with poison.

 

Wow.... Just WOW

[lywb2168]

I'm a little confused about why a parent wouldn't let their teenage daughter lock the bathroom door!? I also don't think it's terribly realistic to worry about BB guns and snack packs being laced with poison. I'd love to know how many times you have found that your kids squirt gun is actually a real gun, or discovered poison in your kids snacks or BB's.

Even my parents don't lock the bathroom doors when they go in. For our household it has to do with safety and not having to break down the door if someone had to get in (think medical emergency). We have had a little bit of a problem with my 3-year-old coming and going whenever he wants but we have gotten that to the point where now the only person he walks in on is me. Still working on that one for some reason Mommy apparently doesn't need any privacy.

As for the OP: As my son's room is my room currently he really wouldn't have much say about me looking through it if he was old enough to be concerned. In the future I think that I will continue to peek in on him when I go to bed, going in to get his laundry is a given LOL he is a boy after all and I doubt that laundry will get into a basket (I can try but who knows). He will have to clean his own room etc. That said if I thought that he was drinking or doing drugs it is my house and I will look for proof and talk to him about my concerns. I hope that I will raise him better than that and that I will never have to go searching but you never know and I am not one to say that I would never do something. LOL

In my house is for the same reason you never know what could happen that may require you to have to go in, but then my girls have no problem with that, they have taken the fact since they were babies, that the doors are not locked.  We do not walk into anybody private business, we see the door close they light on, somebody is in there and it is left alone, then again everybody walks in on me to ask for money, where is this item or that item, thank god for thick curtains LOL.

As for the rest of the house, teenagers like to do things that they are not allowed, it is the nature of the beast, so my kids and their friends know if you come to my house, as long as the doors are closed but not lock you never know when I might walk by and decide to check on you!The one and only time a door got locked in my house my daughter was 8 with 2 friends and I discovered that they had accidentally gone into a *bleep* site when they typed the wrong search and they locked the door so they could see it, and all hell rose later.  And then 1 time when my teenage daughter throw a party for 13/14 years old and they decide to turn off the lights and locked the doors, needless to say that everybody went home 10 minutes later. 

[vb543]

Digging through all of there personal stuff, probably not a good idea. Just checking in on them and what they are doing and stuff like that is fine.

[clickers]

I'd say watch their behavior and do your searching accordingly. Some children don't need it, but some of them do :-)

[springsgardner]

I think it's important to know what is going on in a child's life. I would hate to be one of those parents whose kid went on some rampage at a school and was surprised. It's a good idea to know if your kid is in bed when we go to bed so we know they're not out getting into trouble. I think it's important to know what kinds of things they are collecting. But, more importantly, I think that keeping it easy to converse with our kids is paramount. The more we can talk freely with our kids and listen to them, the better. But, my oldest kids is 10, so I still have a lot to learn about the teenage years.