Single Mother six kids and counting.....

[tantricia44]

I was walking out of the local Wmart when I saw a mother carting out 6 kids. 3 in the basket 3 on foot & i don't know why but I automatically became angry. My husband(who has passed)& I had decided along time ago tht we wanted 2 save the world & not have kids. LoL. When he was alive, we saw the same thing, a single mother towing a bunch of kids behind her. I wondered out loud, didn't she hear about birth control? How can she afford 2 have so many kids? It looked like she had the kids 1 after another. My husband gave me sad grin & said Honey, you & I & the rest of America is paying 4 those kids. Then I find out that 4 each kid the mother gets governt assistance. Maybe, I got angry because I miss my husband & it was flashback reminder of my loss but I don't understand why we have 2 pay 4 other peoples actions/mistakes. There is no excuse not 2 use birthcontrol b/c birthcontrol is available free in any clinic in the state of FL. Governt assistance only encourages single mothers 2 use the system getting knocked up 1 after an other. I don't see the fathers being held accountable. I don't mean 2 sound cruel but I think the governt shd change the rules dealing w/this issue. Why not change the rules, all males will be taxed extra just in case some girl gets pregnant out of wedlock; Tax unwed mothers; if the single mother gets pregnant again after the first child she will lose governt assistance or get fixed. Only if the woman is raped should she be excused frm the requirements. I know it sounds mean, heartless even but I decided not 2 have kids. It's not right that I have to pay for some 1 else kids. I was wondering what members in FC think about this issue. Is this also happening in your state? Is this issue,the same in your state? If you were given the power 2 solve this issue what would do? I don't mean 2 offend anybody but I was just venting & this rare emotion just burst out of me.

[chadw97]

I was walking out of the local Wmart when I saw a mother carting out 6 kids. 3 in the basket 3 on foot & i don't know why but I automatically became angry. My husband(who has passed)& I had decided along time ago tht we wanted 2 save the world & not have kids. LoL. When he was alive, we saw the same thing, a single mother towing a bunch of kids behind her. I wondered out loud, didn't she hear about birth control? How can she afford 2 have so many kids? It looked like she had the kids 1 after another. My husband gave me sad grin & said Honey, you & I & the rest of America is paying 4 those kids. Then I find out that 4 each kid the mother gets governt assistance. Maybe, I got angry because I miss my husband & it was flashback reminder of my loss but I don't understand why we have 2 pay 4 other peoples actions/mistakes. There is no excuse not 2 use birthcontrol b/c birthcontrol is available free in any clinic in the state of FL. Governt assistance only encourages single mothers 2 use the system getting knocked up 1 after an other. I don't see the fathers being held accountable. I don't mean 2 sound cruel but I think the governt shd change the rules dealing w/this issue. Why not change the rules, all males will be taxed extra just in case some girl gets pregnant out of wedlock; Tax unwed mothers; if the single mother gets pregnant again after the first child she will lose governt assistance or get fixed. Only if the woman is raped should she be excused frm the requirements. I know it sounds mean, heartless even but I decided not 2 have kids. It's not right that I have to pay for some 1 else kids. I was wondering what members in FC think about this issue. Is this also happening in your state? Is this issue,the same in your state? If you were given the power 2 solve this issue what would do? I don't mean 2 offend anybody but I was just venting & this rare emotion just burst out of me.

I'm a child of 6, but were separated in age.

Oldest- 25 and married

Youngest- 7 and in 2nd grade.

[dreamyxo]

You're judging and making a lot of assumptions.  Why are you angry just at seeing a mother with her kids?  How do you know they were even her kids?  How do know that woman with the 6 kids is on public assistance?  Rich people shop at Walmart too.  How do you know she was single? Maybe her husband was sick in bed or something.  Do you think just because you chose not to have kids that you are better than other people who chose to have more than one?

Yeah I hate that I'm helping support lazy welfare queens but I don't assume every woman shopping by themselves with more than one kid is on welfare.  I also don't think welfare should be a permanent thing.  People fall on hard times and a safety net should help them out but there should be a limit.

[Debj1951]

Dreamyxo,
You took the words right off of my keyboard! Between my daughter & her husband they have 6 kids. She was working, he was off work due to an injury. The had to go on partial public assistance, her pay just wasn't enough. Even with both of them working they still qualify for (some) food stamps. They both had married previously, like everyone else, thinking it was going to be forever. They have a wonderful marriage - the kids are all happy & well taken care of, but .... lets just let them go hungry because their parents both made mistakes when they were young by choosing the wrong partner. The kids have no idea how poor they really are - $$ wise anyhow, but very rich with love.
Tantrica,
people with your attitude really bother me - YOU decided you were going to save the world by not having kids? That was your choice. There will always be people who fall on hard times. I do agree that after a couple of kids with no father in sight (as far as $$ support goes) maybe the government should step in & say no more hand outs for you - You will have to have a tubal - then on the other hand the government is in our personal business too much as it is.
Personally, I had to retire early due to a movement disorder. Medicare & living in subsidized housing is no fun! Doing without medical care because I can't afford to pay what Medicare won't cover. I am supposed to have Botox injections in my neck muscles @ 3 months to keep down the pain & the muscles from spasming - can't  afford the nearly $400.00 each time. Suffering from a toothache because I can't afford a dentist - trade places with me babe.  Don't mean to be offensive, but people with your high & mighy attitude really offend me!

[Debj1951]

Oh & BTW, how do you know the woman was single? Divorce? Prison? Death? People are too quick to judge when they don't know the facts. Mom & dad had 6 kids, he became abusive. After the divorce, she worked nights, kept the house spotless (yes we kids had to help) Cooked a big dinner, put out a garden, canned food like a mad woman & ironed in her spare time for others at $5.00 for a bushel basket full. She literally worked herself to death. Dad paid his child support, we babysat each other, if we older ones made any money, at least half of it was given to mom, out of respect, not because we had to.  Still, we had to accept some assistance from the government much to the embarassment of all of us. This subject is so debatable, I am anxious to see others' replies.

Just an added FYI - sometimes people have a load of kids with them because they are babysitting for a couple of families, TO MAKE MONEY SO THEY CAN STAY OFF THE SYSTEM.

[lgemini]

I do not like when people judge someone's life.  Why do we always have to put someone down, to make our life better.
Stop looking down on people.   Instead of putting people down, try helping people out.  You just might like it.

[tjung10]

Wow you got all that from somebody walking out of a walmart! Talk about jumping to conclusions, maybe she owns a daycare? Maybe she is watching some kids for a friend? Maybe she loves kids and can afford them!

[cubarican210]

I was walking out of the local Wmart when I saw a mother carting out 6 kids. 3 in the basket 3 on foot & i don't know why but I automatically became angry. My husband(who has passed)& I had decided along time ago tht we wanted 2 save the world & not have kids. LoL. When he was alive, we saw the same thing, a single mother towing a bunch of kids behind her. I wondered out loud, didn't she hear about birth control? How can she afford 2 have so many kids? It looked like she had the kids 1 after another. My husband gave me sad grin & said Honey, you & I & the rest of America is paying 4 those kids. Then I find out that 4 each kid the mother gets governt assistance. Maybe, I got angry because I miss my husband & it was flashback reminder of my loss but I don't understand why we have 2 pay 4 other peoples actions/mistakes. There is no excuse not 2 use birthcontrol b/c birthcontrol is available free in any clinic in the state of FL. Governt assistance only encourages single mothers 2 use the system getting knocked up 1 after an other. I don't see the fathers being held accountable. I don't mean 2 sound cruel but I think the governt shd change the rules dealing w/this issue. Why not change the rules, all males will be taxed extra just in case some girl gets pregnant out of wedlock; Tax unwed mothers; if the single mother gets pregnant again after the first child she will lose governt assistance or get fixed. Only if the woman is raped should she be excused frm the requirements. I know it sounds mean, heartless even but I decided not 2 have kids. It's not right that I have to pay for some 1 else kids. I was wondering what members in FC think about this issue. Is this also happening in your state? Is this issue,the same in your state? If you were given the power 2 solve this issue what would do? I don't mean 2 offend anybody but I was just venting & this rare emotion just burst out of me.

How do you know all the kids were hers? She could have been babysitting her nieces and nephews. Not to be rude but if you feel so strongly about it maybe you should move to China. This is a free country and women can opt to have children or not. The way you put it, the U.S. would have to become communist instead of being a democracy. Enjoy your freedoms while you can.

[TCREVAN5]

What you just said was very presumptuous.  Did you know this person personally?  You just see a woman with six kids that are all close in age and assume she is a bad person.  She could have been a foster parent or maybe she is a single mom and works very hard to support her family.  Maybe she is a widow also.  There are so many possibilities and you just assumed the worst of that person.  Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.

[tjshorty]

I don't know about other states, but this state doesn't really do much to help with assistance.  I will say that it isn't like the mother isn't working.  This state requires the parent to work or be looking for work or going to school.  All of which have strict conditions.  What you should be getting angry with, is the government paying employers to hire wellfare recipients, or paying for day care all of which cost more than the parent staying home and taking care of their own kid.  Which in my opinion would make for a happier child. that could possibly end up with a happier adult that manages to stay off drugs and out of prison.  In this economy, people need the assistance, do to unemployment.

[diala84]

I admit that I am quick to assume too. I have met women that used the system and lived in better houses and had better income than I have ever had just for having kids. It shouldn't be praised or encouraged for women to get pregnant. If they want kids and have a stable job/stable relationship with someone who does by all means have children but it is irresponsible to have children when you cannot support yourself. A sister of an old friend lived in a two story home with 3 bedrooms on her own with no job and two kids. They had very nice furniture and appliances and the works. Money came rolling in every month to pay her bills. At the time I was living in a quad with a bunch of roommates I hated working full time trying to make ends meet.

Don't get me wrong I believe that support should be offered to single parents with children in a bad place but it shouldn't come in the form of currency because currency can be used for everything from groceries to new shoes. All the assistance should be in the form of items of use. Provide them free food from food banks, free housing in a community home for single parents, free daycare (other single parents watch your children from time to time), free donated clothing, etc.. Eventually a person would want out of the situation because their life is not full of luxuries. They don't have money to buy snacks, new shoes, pop, or anything none essential. Providing daycare would allow them to look for work or go to school to better their lives. No money got alcohol or drugs. This is my solution. 

[tjshorty]

I admit that I am quick to assume too. I have met women that used the system and lived in better houses and had better income than I have ever had just for having kids. It shouldn't be praised or encouraged for women to get pregnant. If they want kids and have a stable job/stable relationship with someone who does by all means have children but it is irresponsible to have children when you cannot support yourself. A sister of an old friend lived in a two story home with 3 bedrooms on her own with no job and two kids. They had very nice furniture and appliances and the works. Money came rolling in every month to pay her bills. At the time I was living in a quad with a bunch of roommates I hated working full time trying to make ends meet.

Don't get me wrong I believe that support should be offered to single parents with children in a bad place but it shouldn't come in the form of currency because currency can be used for everything from groceries to new shoes. All the assistance should be in the form of items of use. Provide them free food from food banks, free housing in a community home for single parents, free daycare (other single parents watch your children from time to time), free donated clothing, etc.. Eventually a person would want out of the situation because their life is not full of luxuries. They don't have money to buy snacks, new shoes, pop, or anything none essential. Providing daycare would allow them to look for work or go to school to better their lives. No money got alcohol or drugs. This is my solution. 

Food banks, allow for a couple uses a few times a year.  They don't give enough food for a week for a small family.  If you are getting assistance from the state you get food stamps(free food)  the money that you get isn't enough to cover all the bills and rent every month.  The medical won't usually cover everything, as with many insurances and to make things worse, the case worker is the one that decides if something you need will get paid by them.  She isn't a medical professional. The food stamps, and the money is determined by how much you pay in rent and utilities and how many to feed and the ages.  If your oldest child is sixteen they are also supposed to be going to school and working and by the way if he misses school that isn't deemed as excused the family risks loosing the assistance for that month.  Now the child is working and the parent is working the income goes up so the assistance from the state goes down.  What you also might be interested in knowing.  Not all poor people are on some sort of assistance.  If you adopt a child through the federal gov. that child recieves medical insurance, that will cover the cost of diapers (huggies) but that child gets that until he is 18 as opposed to a state adoption that doesn't.  Now if you have enough money to adopt???

[sommap]

Instead of deciding not to have any kids of your own, you should have adopted.  That would have been a much bigger and better contribution to society.

I also wonder how you made the assumption that a woman is a single mother if she has a bunch of kids in tow and is leaving Walmart.  As has been said, she may be a daycare mother.  She may have foster children.  She and her husband may have enough money to live in a nice house and have all of these kids.  Or, she may be on welfare.  I believe in welfare as a temporary help.  If a single mother has one child after another with different fathers, she should not be eligible for welfare.  The fathers should also be held responsible. 

[thetop31]

I do not know what to say, I agree that do not look down people and I do not think there is woman who want so many kids. I have only one for now, it already make me tired and boring and no patient.
I hope those woman who should know how to do B/C. but some of them don't know, they just enjoy that time and then....so kids come and come

[Lindaroof]

I am the youngest of 6. And my mom(god rest her soul) worked her tail off to make sure that we had a roof over our head and food in our bellies. My father got another woman pregnant,all as my mom was carring me.So I have a half sister that is 7 months younger than I. To assume that the woman on her own with those children is on Welfare or that somehow she has impacted her life onto you is just, well shall I say, STUPIDITY. My mother never recieved assistance from anyone, she would have been eligible, but she chose to work to support her own children and depend on noone else to do so.
While my father and his new family lived a quite comfortable life. Please do not judge others that you see, for some day it may be you or someone that you love being judged. The next time you see that woman and her 6 kids, just think that those children maybe have a broken heart, from a parent passing or just not caring enough to stick around.