MEN!!!!!

[jczgirl]

 
I just don't know why so many men have to be such buttheads to their wives?

My husband enjoys making me angry everyday, I really, truly believe it. We have been married 2 1/2 years but for some reason it feels like an eternity. I ask him if he could help me out with some of the things that need to be done around the house, and he gives me 101 different excuses why it can't be done. So most of the time I end up doing them myself, and then he gets angry with me because it wasn't done right. My thing is, that he should of did it when I asked instead of giving me an excuse. WHY ME??

[narlo]

now shouldn't the topic have been my husband!!!!! not all of us men are horrible people. my wife wants me to do something she starts a hunny do list. now some chores on the list have been their for a long time, but yesterday I got off my rear end and power washed the house. wife came home and she was happy with me, today i might make her happy and not be home when she gets here.

[busybodyinak]

GRINS Men, Husbands....Same same right? Can't have one without the other! So stop asking him to do things and hire a young good-looking handy man with your husbands money a time or two....Giggles bet things change???

[JessieKateRose]

It sounds like you definitely didn't marry the guy who was right for you.

[jordandog]

I have to ask why YOU allow him to get away with it? He can't control you unless you allow him to. He can't make you angry anymore than anyone else can. Reacting with anger is how you choose to react. If you didn't really know much about him before you married him, and it sounds like you didn't, then maybe you shouldn't have chosen to do that either. I am a female, with a much worse ex-husband than what you seem to have, but I made the choice to NOT allow treatment like your's, and he left. I also wound up raising 3 sons alone. I know all men are not like your husband or my ex, there are a lot of decent guys in the world, and I will be the first to admit women are not easy to get along with either.

[shernajwine]

I find that when I go out of the way to do something for my husband (even when I don't think he deserves it) it makes him want to make me happy. The most important lesson I ever learned for my marriage is....men need respect and women need love.

Not to say it isn't also the other way around but men are wired differently and showing them respect makes them feel loved, women being shown affection and love makes them feel respected. I don't know all the details of your marriage but you need to remember all the things you love about him and let it inspire you to do something that makes him feel like a man. A man that feels important is a man that pleases his wife

[GUESSWORKZ]

SOME GUYS NEED TO LEARN IF YOUR MATE, SPOUSE, LOVER ISNT HAPPY YOUR NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY ..IT WONT KILL YOU TO TAKE 10 OR 15 MINUTES TO HELP YOUR LADY DO A FEW CHORES OR WHAT EVER IT MAY BE..IM SURE IF YOU DO THE REWARDS WOULD BE PRICELESS  

[ladydi770]

 
I just don't know why so many men have to be such buttheads to their wives?

My husband enjoys making me angry everyday, I really, truly believe it. We have been married 2 1/2 years but for some reason it feels like an eternity. I ask him if he could help me out with some of the things that need to be done around the house, and he gives me 101 different excuses why it can't be done. So most of the time I end up doing them myself, and then he gets angry with me because it wasn't done right. My thing is, that he should of did it when I asked instead of giving me an excuse. WHY ME??
[/quote

MY HONEST ADVICE TO ALL YOUNG WOMEN FACING THIS SAME PROBLEMS, IS TO NIP IT BEFORE IT GET STARTED AND BEFORE YOU MARRY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A MAN'S SLAVE IN ORDER TO GET HIM TO MARRY YOU THAT IS THE MAIN REASON MOST MEN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION AFTER MARRIAGE IS BECAUSE YOUNG WOMEN ARE GIVING TO MUCH OF THEMSELVES TO THESE GUYS AND THEY HAVE BECOME ACCUSTOM TO IT! SO I FEEL YOU HAVE NO REASON TO COMPLAIN IF THAT IS HOW YOU STARTED OFF THE RELATIONSHIP.  AS WOMEN WE HAVE TO LEARN IT IS OK TO HOLD BACK, BECAUSE A MAN SHOULD ACCEPT US FOR WHO WE ARE INSIDE AND NOT EVERYTHING WE DO FOR THEM.  NEXT TIME HE GET ANGRY BECAUSE IT ISN'T DONE RIGHT POLITELY TELL HIM TO DO IT HIS WAY AND EVERYTHING ELSE HE FINDS WRONG. AS FAR AS FOR EXCUSES THAT IS THEIR NATURE AND IT ISN'T ANYTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT! TRY SITTING HIM DOWN A IMPLAMENTING SOME GROUND RULES ON WHO WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT.  BUT ARGUING , IF YOU HAVE NOTICE DOESN'T GET THEM TO DO ANYTHING. I FIND THAT THEY ARE JUST LIKE LITTLE KIDS. BRIBERY SEEMS TO WORK FOR ME!! TRY IT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!

[MYKRLuciano]

You guys are newly. The first five years of marriage are hard. But you have to set him straight and telling him how you feel. I have been married for 11 years. And my husband was the same way until I did exactly what he did. Yeah thats right I got to his level. And now or days he and I are always trying to better our marriage.

[kingreyam24]

That sounds like my first husband and me. We were married for 5 years, but should have just gotten divorced after 1. It was pretty dumb to stay together because I was miserable living with him and fighting with him over everything. Now I am married to someone who I am completely happy with. He helps me when I need help, but I don't ask too often since he said I could quit my job and stay at home. There are a few little things that make me angry, but I've grown accustomed to them. He works a full-time job and goes to school afterward. If I could do my first marriage all over again I would have ended it right away. I knew things were not going to work out, but I tried for 5 long, painful years anyway. What a waste of 5 years!

[kapeh12]

One thing you may want to try, that I've found seems to generally work even though it seems a bit weird...

When you ask your husband to do things, how do you ask him?  Do you make the request as "Can you..." or "Could you..."?  If so, next few times try asking "Will you....". 

Reason is in general, when a man answers yes to a "Will" question - it's treated more like a contract/commitment, and they are more likely to complete the task.  When asked "Can/Could...", that's treated more like a question of ability - are they able to do the task, which is less direct and less motivation to complete the task.

Women, on the other hand (again, in general) respond better to requests phrased as "Can/Could..." as it's received as a polite request, vs "Will.." which a woman interprets as a command, which usually rubs them wrong way and makes the woman more resistant to completing the task.

It sounds strange, but after reading this in a psychology book, I tried using in over the years, and I've found it to be fairly true.  Doesn't work all the time, and there are always exceptions - but sounds like it may be worth a try...   

[Ittai]

 :icon_rr:YES i have to say not all MEN!! Some of the people we end up with or begin a relationship with are not the ones for us!

[ancmetro]

        Some men are like that: "They just do not want to do it"! In their minds they think: "Women should do everything at work and at home". It is the old battle of the sexes...on which side are you? On the other hand, there are some men who work really hard at work and at home. And this really helps!

[TnkrBelle]

There really someone out there for each of us.  Life is way too short to spend time with someone that is treating us poorly!!  I'd rather be a little bit lonely all by myself than miserable with someone else!   

[sarapow79]

that is a way of life dear, just always know you have this to vent I am a army and a stay at home ..It gets irrating from time to time but i love it . I have been married for 5 years and a mom for 4 years , and our son has adhd . times are really rough but I always keep intouch with my friends and stay close to family . they have all the right things and the right support to help me (FYI that some men for you )