Amazingly Simple.....

[sflynt]

.... HOME REMEDIES    

    
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
    
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat up by using the sink.
    
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
    
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
    
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
    
You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
    
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to a pizza parlor, place an order for home delivery and catch a ride home with the driver.

Always keep several get well cards on your mantel... so if unexpected guests arrive, they will understand you've been too sick to clean the house.



Hope these help! hahahahaha

*Edited: to add a few more 

[jcribb16]

   LOL!  These are great! 

[sflynt]

  LOL!  These are great! 

LOL!  Thanks jcribb! I thought they were pretty funny myself. And I'm sure there are more that can be added to this list lol!!

[shernajwine]

LOLOLOLOL Hilarious sflynt!

I will have to send that out as an email to some people! 

[sflynt]

LOLOLOLOL Hilarious sflynt!

I will have to send that out as an email to some people! 

Hahahaha!    I did that too! 

[fairuzaavalon]

lol

[Valerie1979]

oh these are too funny 

[cjobey99]

Too funny, thx for the giggle.

[ppv2]

These are terrific!

[karenkpc]

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

oh, man, this is SO my motto!! 

[samrhett2]

I read the first one and thought you were serious.  Then I read on.  Thanks for the laugh.  I think there should be one also about Robitussin.  If you ever heard Chris Rock talk about it.  According to his mom there was no health issue that Robitussin could not cure.

[rogery]

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

I tend to assume no one is normal. I'm seldom proven wrong... maybe it's just me ?

[franlee46]

.... HOME REMEDIES   

   
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
   
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat up by using the sink.
   
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
   
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
   
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
   
You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
   
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
   
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


Hope these help! hahahahaha

These are tooooo funny I needed a good laugh, Thanks

[busybodyinak]

Good list, but you forgot one or two really good ones......
Stupidity should be painful......When I am stupid it is ALWAYS really painful
And
Silence is golden......Duct tape is silver......................Smiles

[sflynt]

Good list, but you forgot one or two really good ones......
Stupidity should be painful......When I am stupid it is ALWAYS really painful
And
Silence is golden......Duct tape is silver......................Smiles

Definitely could add more to the list! lol...