Oh it gets so much worse, JD. You'd think that I'm not telling you the entire story and that there's more to it than just the religion, but there really isn't that much. They got this idea in their head that my brother is this 'douchebag preppy guy' who goes out drinking and cheating every night which is just ludicrous-- he's furthest from that! Their mindset is the one of anyone not involved in their beliefs is ultimately BAD! She lost the majority of her friends due to them all being aligned with the church. Her parents even have her little 8 yr old brother send (well-worded) emails to her saying "I miss you. Plz break up with him cuz he's with satan and you shouldn't align yourself with that. I miss you!". It's just pathetic. Fortunately it has been an eye-opening situation and she does not align herself with the church anymore. When her parents kicked her out, it kind of opened the flood gates of reality. Now she's a total freethinker on everything we discuss...wait...I mean she's tainted by the hand of satan due to us.
Actually (and unfortunately) I really did NOT think there was more you weren't saying as far as the reasons behind it. I know people like that, like jcibb bringing up her father, and those are toxic folks I have said before I refuse to be around. They are true brute fanatics and yes, it does give religion and religious people a horrible rep if that is all someone is exposed to. We all know you can beat a dog into complete submission, but eventually he will have had enough and his only instinct is to destroy the person who owns the hand. Those 'parents' are doing the same thing to their daughter, but unlike an animal, she had the sense to stand up to them and I honestly think she would have left their care regardless of them kicking her out. Thankfully she has your brother to help her stay away from the horrible guilt trip that is already being put on her. Bringing her little brother into it?! Shows you just how low some people will go and say it is
'all in the name of love and god'.I don't like to talk about work and my patients on here. It somehow feels as if I am breaking a code, even though it's not - I just have so much love and respect for them because of the hand life has dealt them. I have said before I NEVER bring my religious opinions and/or views into the lives of my patients and their families. Countless times I have sat and held hands with them while they prayed and I can only remember one time being asked why I didn't add my voice to it. I said something to the effect that "I felt it was their words that needed to be said, not mine, and I was there as support." Long story short - we had a 15 year old boy that was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. It is highly agressive BUT also treatable with a fairly good outcome
if it is caught early. For a couple years before he came to us and was [correctly]diagnosed, the family doctor was 'reassuring' the parents, his 3 siblings, and the rest of the family that he kept catching colds which caused the rise in his white cell count (told them every kid catches colds, strep throat, etc.) was always winded during and after sports because of a case of 'mild asthma', kids his age always need more sleep, especially boys, he was always 'tired' just being a teen and burning the candle at both ends, every excuse out there. They were also told he would "most likely grow out of it and just needed to take antibiotics when needed, use his inhaler and steroids, blah, blah". We started him on all the normal protocols, I took care of him for 2+ years, but it was too late for us to make him one of the 'lucky ones'. He had a very supportive and loving family, but they were also
very, very dedicated to their religion. Keep in mind he could NOT have any of his friends come to see him while he was hospitalized because of the risk of infection being brought in and family had to don the clean suits when he was at his most susceptible times. The one joy he always looked forward to was playing cards with his dad and grandfather when he was able and well enough to do so. I honestly believe he did it
to make THEM feel like everything was going to turn out all right. There were many times I could see in his eyes just how lousy and worn out and sick and tired of being sick and tired he was,
but he still played. That was the very last thing he did with his grandfather, 2 months before he died, because he told everyone in the family "You can say all the prayers you want, but god is not hearing me anymore, if he ever did, so I won't talk to Him anymore - you do it." His 'Pops' never came back again to see him after that and even though it was never said to me, I know his 'Nana' lied and went behind her husband's back so she could visit him 3 or 4 more times. It literally ripped them all apart and any emotional crisis in our class of patients can be the straw that will break even the strongest person's will to survive. Tyler died this past June, just shy of 2 months after all this. I just know in my heart that the absence of his Pops was one of the last things he thought about. I was able to attend the funeral home for Tyler's memorial, which I do for all patients we lose whenever possible, because you (I) cannot treat them as a chart and room number ever, but especially when they are with us for long periods of time. Tyler's grandfather came up to me with his arms out, as if to hug me. It was one of the ONLY times in all my years that I absolutely could not bring myself to offer any words to someone - I turned and walked away from him.
I know I said this would be short and it wasn't. It also took me forever to type out between tears. Apologies for another of my 'novella' posts.
Community Forum
Topic: WTH happened in here? (Read 49985 times)
August 01, 2009, 02:26:55 pm
