Why is it?

[dreamyxo]

When someone owes you money they turn it around to make you look like the bad guy when you mention paying it back?  My cousin owes me some money now I have not been nagging him to pay me back but he keeps telling me it's on the way.  This has been since January.  He lied back in March and and told me he sent it but it got sent back  yeah right.    He's been saying it's on the way since January.  June he said he'll send it in two weeks that was a month ago.  Then I find out he took his kids on vacation  .  You tell me you don't have money to pay me back yet you have plenty of money to go on vacation?  Her said it was a sacrifice to something nice for his kids  . See if I ever do him any favors ever again in life. 

[luvh8tragedy87]

I think with family you have to assume that the money is a gift not a loan.

[dreamyxo]

I thought family gives money to one another in tuff times without expecting to be paid back....I guess not in all cases.

It wasn't tough times.  I didn't give him money per he wanted to fly back home from when he worked in another state.  He used my buddy passes and that came out of my paycheck so he needs to pay me back for that.  Family or not if I ever owed anyone money regardless I'd pay it back.   He was the one who said he was going to pay me back. 

[LaTashaS28]

If you loan him money and he offer to pay it back to you, then I think that he should go on and pay you back like he said he was in a timely manner. Where you mess up at is that you did'nt get it in writing stating that he will pay you back.

[TVALLO]

Never loan family or friends money, if you cant just give it to them just say no.  You will just ruin a relationship

[Annella]

One rule I live by:  If you give money......NEVER expect it back.  If it does come back, it's a surprise.

[rbeal2324]

It seems like it is always a sticky situation with Family/Friends  and Money.
I dont have much to advise on, but I do know that alot of relationships have been broken over money...  Yes it seems odd that they took a vacation but could not pay you back, but unfortuanately this happens when you are dealing with Family/friends..  Good Luck, I hope that they prove me wrong.

[shernajwine]

Oh my lord, I have been in this situation more times than I care to think about. And it always involves the same person. My problem is that I don't know how to say no....especially when I know the person really needs it. The amounts of money borrowed kept getting bigger and bigger and the time it took to pay back always got longer and longer with more and more excuses.

My husband and I finally said to each other, if we don't have it to "spare" then we need to just tell them we don't have it.  We ran into problems because we would loan them money that we had set aside for our own expenses with the promise they would pay it back within a week or two. Something ALWAYS happened that they NEVER paid the money back when they were supposed to and it caused us to get behind in bills, we even had to get food from a food bank because we lent them our grocery money.

It almost ruined our relationship with these other people because we felt taken advantage of.

If you loan someone money make sure it's not money you need to get back and if they pay it back they do and if they don't, they don't. Either that or don't loan it in the first place (if you're like me that's where you get stuck lol)

[ULuvCeCe]

One rule I live by:  If you give money......NEVER expect it back.  If it does come back, it's a surprise.

great way to look at it

[lynnc35]

That is just the way it works, or if someone you live with pays the rent, say, your husband, makes you feel guilty for it.

[bschumacher]

Your cousin is being manipulative and unprincipled. If it's a lot of money, keep nagging. If it's not too much, let it go for the sake of family peace. If he ever asks for more money, say you can't spare it!

[elysee24]

With family, money is always a tough issue.
I will rather just give family the money when I can help out instead of loan the money to them.
Sorry to know that happened to you and hope one day, he will finally find out he does you wrong and return your money back to you.

[franlee46]

One rule I live by:  If you give money......NEVER expect it back.  If it does come back, it's a surprise.

I like your rule... I would just add NEVER give money it always becomes a problem even if you write everything down and it is signed and sealed You like to help out but you should not be taken advantage off.  At this point I would just let it go and use it as a lesson learned.  

[martinbastin]

One thing I have learned is to never loan anything to your family members. It will cause trouble every time.

[belleg1]

Just wait until your kids do it to you, talk about emotional pain! And it doesn't seem to matter how good you raised them or how many values you instilled in them,  kids can play you and take from you and look you right dead in the eye and lie!! I pray you never have to experience that.