Losing That Spark

[BK_Adores_Chase]

I feel like my boyfriend and I have lost our spark.  He always wants my attention but I'm always "too busy" and when we do hang out, I feel like he's bored and I can never come up with anything fun to do.  We have a 26 month old.  Also, it seems like things he does annoys me but if anyone else did it I would laugh or say something silly back.  Why do I do this to him and how can I change my outlook.  I do love him, so I don't know why I act this way.

[missijl]

Some people have a fear of commitment. It sounds like you're trying to push him away. Try to think of things you did when you first got together. Go out and DO something... Go to a zoo, park, fishing, anything. My hubby and I went through a spot where we never got out of the house. We seemed to get on each other's nerves a lot more then!

[lynnc35]

This is the how things are when he is more in love with you then you are him, but if he suddenly lost interest, you would probably want him, if this is your only problem, then I wouldn't leave him, or make it seem boring, their is alot worse out there, why do we always not want the things that are good for us.

[BK_Adores_Chase]

Oh I know, we went out to the bar this weekend and even when he talked to another girl I got jealous, but if he talks to me half the time I blow him off or don't listen.  Yes, it does seem like he loves me so much.  Even after 4 years, he is very loving - hugs and kisses and sometimes I get annoyed and I don't know why.  I did go fishing with him yesterday (even though it was boring for me because I had to watch my 2 year old the whole time instead of fishing as well)

[jneff0603]

I'm in the same boat as you...my BF andI have bee together 2 years and sometimes things he used to do to make me laugh I have to suppress an eye-roll at. I know I love him and I have no interest in being with anyone else, it's just that I get annoyed so easily. If he tries to get me "in the mood" I try to get away...it's not the actual "IT" that bothers me,  I just feel so blah and unhappy about howI look even though he shows me he still finds me sexy. It's so frustrating!

[missijl]

If he tries to get me "in the mood" I try to get away...it's not the actual "IT" that bothers me,  I just feel so blah and unhappy about howI look even though he shows me he still finds me sexy. It's so frustrating!

It sounds like you're having a little self doubt, which is no fun. Once a week, I try to make myself up even if I'm just staying at home. I take a nice bubble bath, get smelling nice, do my hair and make up and nails, and put on something that makes me feel sexy. It's important to do little things for yourself to boost your own self esteem. If you can do it for yourself, you won't feel so awkward if he finds you attractive! 

[jneff0603]

You're very right, I usually feel much better if I just get some "me" time which is hard to come by with a one year old lol.

[sigmapi1501]

Just sounds like you're a typical girl.  If a guy shows you attention and is nice to you, you have no interest. Maybe if he had a drug problem or hit you or wanted nothing to do with your child you might love him more.

[missijl]

Just sounds like you're a typical girl.  If a guy shows you attention and is nice to you, you have no interest. Maybe if he had a drug problem or hit you or wanted nothing to do with your child you might love him more.

I don't think what you described is typical. Psychologically speaking, women who look for those types were often treated bad by other men (maybe even their own father) and have become accustomed to poor treatment. Codependency counseling is GREAT for curing the low self worth that those women might be facing. Once you increase their self worth, they'll be able to attract healthy men, and likewise, healthy men will be attracted to them. 

[jneff0603]

I've already been with the stereotypical abusive drug addict and I left him without a second glance. I'm not one of those girls that thinks the grass is greener if the man is pissing on the lawn. I love and appreciate my boyfriend but we are going through that same "funk" all normal, couples go through.

Just sounds like you're a typical girl.  If a guy shows you attention and is nice to you, you have no interest. Maybe if he had a drug problem or hit you or wanted nothing to do with your child you might love him more.

[GoGoKokiGo]

Just sounds like you're a typical girl.  If a guy shows you attention and is nice to you, you have no interest. Maybe if he had a drug problem or hit you or wanted nothing to do with your child you might love him more.

Oh no you didn't! I can't even think of a response low enough to respond to this. Oh how about just because you had a bad experience with a girl who showed no interest in you doesn't mean you have to blanket statement all of us.

[GoGoKokiGo]

As for the OP maybe you can take some time apart. Like a vacation or something. Even for just a day. If you see too much of one person they can begin to get on your nerves.

[sigmapi1501]

Bitches be crazy that's all.

[missijl]

Bitches be crazy that's all.

Wow. With your attitude and calling WOMEN "bitches," it's just a wonder why we have such low opinions of most men. I'm glad my husband is respectful and decent to ALL women, even if he doesn't get along with them. I guess it just goes to show what a good, strong female role model (a.k.a. "Mom") can do in her son's life. 

[willow80834]

NOT a expert been married 22 years  but it sounds like to me your looking for away out....   it should never be a chore to be with someone ...   being in love and loving someone in my book are 2 different things....  Hope you got lots of good advice