Are people who are Childfree selfish?

[shernajwine]

I just read an article about the stigma and prejudice people face when making the decision to not have children. I don't watch Sex and the City the series or the movies but it was listed as a Hollywood example of the type of responses people get when they say they chose to be a family of 2. 
I love my children to death but I never really wanted children. I was told I couldn't have them, so when I married I didn't use protection and got pregnant. I used protection and got pregnant with my second. I had my tubes tied and then got pregnant with my third LOL. Jokes on me right? Well I wouldn't go back and change having them but I can certainly sympahtize with people who have a made choice about how they want to live their life.



What do you think of the decision not to have children? Is it selfish? Or are couples who choose to be kid-free just self-aware enough to know that, for whatever reason, they're not parent material? Are you childfree by choice?

[ro901]

I don't think it's selfish. In fact, in today's world, I think it is selfish to choose to bring another child into this existence.

[wsnyyankees2009]

If someone chooses not to have children, I say "LIVE & LET LIVE"

My heart goes out to those that want children more than anything & for medical reasons and such, can't have them

[liljp617]

No, how is it selfish to desire living your own life and doing things on your own time?  How is it selfish to choose not to contribute to overpopulation?

If anything, given the world's population (and population estimates within the next 50 or so years), it's arguably more selfish to continue bringing multiple children into the world.  The world's population by 2050 is estimated somewhere anywhere from 8-10 billion -- that's a hell of a lot of people to feed, clothe, and keep content -- we're struggling doing that with a little over 6 billion right now...

[queenofnines]

Okay, I'm going to resist commenting on how you could get pregnant after having your tubes tied.  lol

It's interesting that you should bring this up, as I read a ton of insightful comments about this topic not too long ago on this article:

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/why-are-more-women-choosing-not-to-have-kids-1846964/;_ylt=AuDPMIUcUYWzB3NFX5d21P1dbqU5 (it is the pages upon pages of comments - not the actual article - that bring up good points)

Shine is like my trashy, guilty pleasure.  lol

Other articles I agree with:

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/on-the-virtues-of-barrenness-or-why-i-dont-want-kids-234901/;_ylt=AtjezWK22G0DXHyacDYu17xdbqU5
http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/relationship-issues/articles/childfree-by-choice?link=emb&dom=yah_life&src=syn&con=blog_marieclaire&mag=mar

P.S.  I am child-free by choice.  

[shernajwine]

No, how is it selfish to desire living your own life and doing things on your own time?  How is it selfish to choose not to contribute to overpopulation?

If anything, given the world's population (and population estimates within the next 50 or so years), it's arguably more selfish to continue bringing multiple children into the world.  The world's population by 2050 is estimated somewhere anywhere from 8-10 billion -- that's a hell of a lot of people to feed, clothe, and keep content -- we're struggling doing that with a little over 6 billion right now...

i am in total agreement with that. like i said i was completely ignorant to the fact that people making a choice not to have children was some kind of issue! it's ridiculous that anyone would call them selfish on the premises that i have heard.

and queen i looked at the shine sight you referenced, i saw some good points made.

what i'm waiting for is someone who thinks it's selfish to comment on this thread so i can see why they think such a thing!

still waiting.................

[queenofnines]

what i'm waiting for is someone who thinks it's selfish to comment on this thread so i can see why they think such a thing!

still waiting.................

There is no logical reason to label it selfish.  I think when people say it is selfish, what they really mean is they are insecure/jealous of the time/money/freedom a child-free woman or couple enjoys.  Or it is like: "You're not in my club.  You don't like what I like.  Therefore, you're wrong."

It's really ironic for them to throw such a term around, because I believe it could also be called selfish to bring another human being into this world just so a person can have a "mini-me" or to enhance THEIR life by deriving joy out of the child's various milestones.  That's their prerogative, of course, but it doesn't in any way make the way they want to live their lives "better" than the child-free person's.

[MandieMc]

I'm child free by choice.  Heck half the time my life's been in a whirlwind I couldn't imagine having a kid along for the ride.  I don't really have the desire to have kids either, i'm not a kid person.  Do i love my little cousins and my friends children?  Of course but, that doesn't mean I want any of my own.  I think people who are childless by choice are labled selfish because they're "preventing" a life from being created which i think is a slippery slope to an abortion debate.

[shernajwine]

LOL yes the world is a mess cuz women don't want to ruin their figures!

as a matter of fact that's the real reason behind all the wars we have ever been involved in.  

[queenofnines]

I am all for animal "children", Sheryl!    They're a ton less expensive, you don't have to worry about raising them wrong or teaching them profound life lessons, they're a lot easier to take care of, they only live to be 15 or 20, they love you unconditionally, and the best part is, THEY DON'T TALK BACK!  lol  

I don't want to experience death and the pain so why would my kid?

Also you would be putting your kid into a potentially troublesome economy where they might have to struggle just to survive when they're older...

What if they grow up to kill or molest little children or rape females. All things that happen but it not certain.

Yep.  Even if you were the perfect parent, all bets are off when the rugrat is living on his own.  lol

I don't understand why people want kids or feel the need. I try to stay away from as much difficulty and pain in life as I can.

I can sort of understand; it is one of the most quick-fix ways to feel like you're doing something "meaningful" with your life (no offense to parents and p.s., thanks mom!  ).  But the cons far outweigh the pros in my opinion.

[shernajwine]

i just read another article right now at http://thebritgirl.com/2007/03/26/lydia-lovric-thinks-childfree-people-are-selfish-for-not-having-kids/
i lol'd a lot! 

[shernajwine]

9ro901)I see a lot of young people on here talking about wanting to get pregnant and I see it all around me. I also know people who get pregnant again to add to the welfare benefits! This truly angers me

yes, my own sister who lives in a $160,000 brand new 4 bedroom home, has 3 brand new vehicles, and big screens in every room in her house was complaining to me that she didn't qualify for foodstamps! so she got pregnant so she would fall into the bracket of qualification AND she lied about her income in the first place! she really makes me mad!  she actually told the rest of the family that we all needed to chip in and buy her food and she asked me if my church had a foodbank! i really have to restrain myself from not slapping her half the time 

she doesn't even really enjoy being a mom she doesn't work, she is a stay at home mom who sends her older child to daycare so she can 'have a break'

talk about selfish!!!

[ro901]

9ro901)I see a lot of young people on here talking about wanting to get pregnant and I see it all around me. I also know people who get pregnant again to add to the welfare benefits! This truly angers me

yes, my own sister who lives in a $160,000 brand new 4 bedroom home, has 3 brand new vehicles, and big screens in every room in her house was complaining to me that she didn't qualify for foodstamps! so she got pregnant so she would fall into the bracket of qualification AND she lied about her income in the first place! she really makes me mad!  she actually told the rest of the family that we all needed to chip in and buy her food and she asked me if my church had a foodbank! i really have to restrain myself from not slapping her half the time 

she doesn't even really enjoy being a mom she doesn't work, she is a stay at home mom who sends her older child to daycare so she can 'have a break'

talk about selfish!!!

That is outrageous!!! One of my in-laws has 4 children..all on welfare and the 15 y/o has 1 new baby and momma wants her to have ANOTHER to add to the food stamps as she still lives at home with mommy and sibs.....this really burns me up!

[ro901]

Also, too many young people desire to get pregnant because they think that a child will fill a void they have...will love them..will make their life complete or even save their marriage....Well, it will definitely fill a void (THAT'S FOR SURE) BUT they love may or may not be there....that is not a given, just because it is your offspring that it is going to love you! It may even grow up to murder you! Forget all that mushy BS! I see too many young people who cannot even keep a checking account straight and have NO CLUE how much a box of Pampers cost, let alone day care, school supplies, the list goes on and on!

[klkwid]

There are going to be exceptions to the rule, but for the most part, I don't think it's selfish at all!  I agree with the people who dont' want to bring a child into a greed-filled, overpopulated world like this.  Maybe I would feel different if I met the right person and we decided otherwise, but for now, there's no way I want to have a child!  In fact, I think it would be selfish of me to have one because I don't think I would have the time or energy to devote to raising a child the proper way.  The people who are selfish are the ones who go out and have a baby just to qualify for welfare or to keep a man around longer.  That just isn't right.