Q. How much room is needed for fungi to grow?
A. As mushroom as possible
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A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
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Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife... she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months." Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over... women like that are hard to find." #joke #beer
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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of *bleep* are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s *bleep* are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of male members are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his *bleep* is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the *bleep* are just for decoration.”
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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
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It won't let me use the words in the joke to represent woman's chest and men's organ, keeps putting Bleep in sorry I hope the joke is still understandable - no freedom of speech here!
Bleep 1 = *bleep*
Bleep 2 = *bleep*
Bleep 3 = ball
Community Forum
Topic: Todays chuckle (Read 735 times)
September 19, 2011, 08:45:32 am
