How Do You Fill the Need-to-Be-Needed?

[mythociate]

I think of church---oh, I offer all kinds of 'encouragement' & 'humor' etc.; but if I don't show up, church goes on anyway (oh, not as cheerful or -empowered or -something; but just as "good" ... i.e. I don't think anyone's stopping just because 'I miss service too often'!)

That's what I want sometimes: not 'for anyone to be absent from church-service,' but rather 'something that people hopes will happen, which WON'T happen unless I'm there to let it!'

What should I do? 

[minioncookies]

You can always fill the Void By doing things were people are dependent on you. That might help because Then you will be needed. Sometimes people feel the need to be needed but do not realize that they are already needed. Everything in life will always go on because life is a continuous cycle untill it stops. I know people who need the help but do not say they need the help due to pride. So sometimes You won't really know your needed but you are.

[bud1]

No person  stands  alone.  We  lean  on each other  in  one way or another.

[thtrngng]

I like to help other people who are less fortunate than I am. This just give me a warm feeling inside.

[Kirenisa]

nothing, I prefer my own company over others honestly, not to be rude but it's just how I am.

[countrygirl12]

I am not being mean but honestly life will always go on even if you are not there.  It kind of sounds like maybe you do a lot and would just like to be appreciated.  That is understandable.  But if you miss a service at church or stop going altogether then the things you do somebody else will do and life will go on and they will eventually forget you were ever there.  Probably sooner than you think.   Not trying to be a downer just speaking the truth.

My brother told me today :  All we can do is do our best every day and at the end of the day we know we done our best whether anybody else did anything right or not.  You can go home and you can sleep because you done what is right.  You done what you were suppose to and you done the best job you could.

Of course we were talking about work and my job but it kind of applies.  You need to focus on you do what ever it is you are doing and you know you done it.  God knows you done it.   It doesn't matter if anybody else knows or appreciates it.  If it really upsets you then you can go to church and not do whatever it is you are talking about.  See if somebody else does it or if it just doesn't get done.  People are lazy.  Hope you feel better soon.

[demaina]

If you want that, find things that others either can't do or don't really want to do and do them.  My one friend knows how to unjam the printer at his work so while it happens a lot, he's not worried about them firing him because he can at least do something that's needed.

A lot of time, you won't know your impact until you stop.  Most people don't think about the janitors or those who collect the garbage until they stop doing it, then we realize how much we rely on them.

[mythociate]

nothing, I prefer my own company over others honestly, not to be rude but it's just how I am.

I think you're the kind of person I want to help; the most 'appreciation' I seek from you is 'that you depend on me for the help,' but I then start to try to help you in every possible way I can (and get 'Jealous' when you seek help from anyone else in areas where I helped you in the past ... like God in the Old Testament).

Maybe that's why Paul seems to say that we each only have ONE gift---so that we don't forget that each of us are only PART of the Body.

(My right arm itches; my left arm wants to scratch it, a wish it would not have if the right arm did not tell the brain and -if the brain did not tell the left-arm. So who is YOUR brain? Who tells another body-part when YOU 'itch' (or whatever other discomfort that other can alleviate)?)

[mythociate]

... You need to focus on you do what ever it is you are doing and you know you done it.  God knows you done it.   It doesn't matter if anybody else knows or appreciates it.

I disagree.

I think of when Lord Jesus asked Peter "Who do the people say I am?... But who do YOU say that I am? ..." and from Peter's answer, THEN He mentions that God was the one who told Peter.

So I guess you're right that "God knows what we do," but it doesn't MATTER until someone appreciates it!

If it really upsets you then you can go to church and not do whatever it is you are talking about.  See if somebody else does it or if it just doesn't get done.  People are lazy.  Hope you feel better soon.

A lot of time, you won't know your impact until you stop.  Most people don't think about the janitors or those who collect the garbage until they stop doing it, then we realize how much we rely on them.

I don't do that, because of a fear of absolute rejection---my fear there is NOT 'that I'll be refused,' but rather 'that things will change'---for example, I want to 'marry' a woman who is my best friend; but I'm afraid to ask her for fear it will 'destroy our friendship' if she says no (then--rather than let me be her friend, which I'm happy to be--she'll treat me like some sorta creep who is only friendly "to get her into bed" [em]doh[/em] ... which isn't my ENTIRE desire, but indeed one little aspect of it ...

(But I also fear that another man will 'swoop in' and provide the help I'm hoping to offer.)

[countrygirl12]

nothing, I prefer my own company over others honestly, not to be rude but it's just how I am.

I think you're the kind of person I want to help; the most 'appreciation' I seek from you is 'that you depend on me for the help,' but I then start to try to help you in every possible way I can (and get 'Jealous' when you seek help from anyone else in areas where I helped you in the past ... like God in the Old Testament).

Maybe that's why Paul seems to say that we each only have ONE gift---so that we don't forget that each of us are only PART of the Body.

(My right arm itches; my left arm wants to scratch it, a wish it would not have if the right arm did not tell the brain and -if the brain did not tell the left-arm. So who is YOUR brain? Who tells another body-part when YOU 'itch' (or whatever other discomfort that other can alleviate)?)

Where does the Bible say we each only have ONE gift?  Some people have many gifts or talents.  There is something everyone can do.  It sounds like maybe you scare people off.  If you were helping me do something and I got help from somebody else for the same thing and you got jealous that I didn't just rely strictly on you that would make me uncomfortable.  Maybe you could volunteer at a nursing home.  They always need help with different things.  But there are also a lot of things you would be restricted from doing.  Like when I was volunteering a lady always wanted me to take her to the bathroom.  "I" was not allowed to do that.  Only a nurse or CNA can do that.

[mythociate]

... Paul seems to say that we each only have ONE gift

Where does the Bible say we each only have ONE gift? 

I believe I was linking you to the chapter in which Paul says that---where he's talking about the gifts of the spirit, & says 'to some there is prophecy, & to others there is speaking-in-tongues, and to others there is administration,' etc.

[countrygirl12]

... Paul seems to say that we each only have ONE gift

Where does the Bible say we each only have ONE gift? 

I believe I was linking you to the chapter in which Paul says that---where he's talking about the gifts of the spirit, & says 'to some there is prophecy, & to others there is speaking-in-tongues, and to others there is administration,' etc.

I don't see a link.  I just don't recall EVER reading that we only have ONE gift.  Some people have a ton of talent and many gifts.

[vickysue]

I take care of my husband, and my dad. Clean at both houses. I don't have time to feel like i have a need to be needed. I just do.  Sometimes i wish that i had more time to myself.

[mythociate]

... Some people have a ton of talent and many gifts.

That's not what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12: "8 For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;

9 To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;

10 To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues:"

He DOES go on to say that "The Spirit divideth to each severally as he will," but he doesn't explain how to handle it if you have MORE talents than the one.

I take care of my husband, and my dad. Clean at both houses. I don't have time to feel like i have a need to be needed. I just do.  Sometimes i wish that i had more time to myself.

Wow. Just know that they appreciate you more than they can show, and that we appreciate you for making them good for us.