Divorce

[laine39]

Wow, after 18 years had to file divorce....coming on I guess, yet happened so quick at the same time. Christmas seemed great....What a crazy and lost feeling. Anyone going thru it? Or did go thru it? It's such an awful feeling of loneliness and hurt....I think I was with a man I never really knew now, except for the verbal and emotional abuse. How does this happen?? How do you move forward?? I wonder....

[inertia4]

I am going through it now. I have been separated for a while but I think it's time to terminate. I have one evil ex. Believe me. She is not human.

[Tresbn00]

Years fifteen through nineteen of marriage seem to be the new seven year itch with the added bonus of a lack of appreciation for one another's partner.  I have seen so many divorces occur...especially in the aforementioned anniversary period.  Usually it is tied to lack of attention for each spouse as concentration is spent on work and raising children.  If the leaving spouse were to re-consider what it was that originally attracted them to the person they are leaving they might reconsider.  Getting accustomed to the dating scene and all of the idiosyncracies that a new relationship brings can be alot of work.  I am not saying settle but put alot of thought into leaving before doing it.

[livelife1234]

Not going through divorce or have been through one but I ave thought about it in the pasty and it has come up in discussions with husband.  I find it amazing how quick and easy it is to go from love to hate.  Like I always say when I see people who were once in love now acting as if they hate eachother; Its a thin line between love and hate.  I sounds cliche but it is very true bc one wrong choice or act or even saying the wrong thing can make people not like each other   

[CHANEYLAKEGIRL]

No advice here, but just wishing you the best. It sounds like you are making the right choice if he is not treating you well.

[sunflowers20054u]

I have been though the same thing. Moved in with him in 1993, finally got married in 2000, then 2004 he asked for a divorce.  Tried to talk and work it out but all I saw was the man that I moved in with in 1993 or even married in 2000 was not the man standing before me asking for the divorce.  There were many years of emotions and verbal abuse that I endured from him and it took a good 2 years to finally feel free of the pull in my heart.  I later found out last year that he married the girl he left me for and not very long after the divorce was final either.  Now she is the one that is with him enduring the same attitude he would give me and the same emotional and verbal abuse I used to have on my shoulders..... Better HERS than mine!!

[ancmetro]

    That is the reason some people remain single. Sometimes marriage is a hassle!

[kellie816]

My parents are going through a divorce, it's been coming for at least 8 years or so. Don't have any advice for you, just hope everything works out and if he's being abusive I'm sure you're doing the right thing.

[tyler62]

My parents got divorced when I was 7 I think, and my sister was 5. I think it was better for us because when my parents were together they fought a lot. They are both much happier now. I think as long as the two parents are happy and continue to be involved and with their kids then it is quite possible that it will be better for everybody. I can't speak about the effects of finances or how it affects the parents but children seem to be and should be a big consideration as well.

[laine39]

Thank you all for the support. I tried to work my marriage out for years, and yes I guess while doing so I also saw the man he was when we first met. I took him back three times, three restraining orders. The last was July and five months later everything was so bad again. I endured years of so much emotional and verbal abuse, and then the cornering, pushing and shoving. He is a big drinker, too and I suspect cheater. My daughter is 24 now, and had to see years of arguing. I think I lived for those good times in between. Eventhough, I don't miss all the bad....I miss him and wonder what I could have done different. It makes no sense to me though, and I feel like I will never be ok or heal these wounds. I don't know how you move on when you lose what was the love of your life....I feel like I will never find that again and the loneliness, and the thought of getting older alone is not something I want to do.

[squirrelgirl44]

I was married for 7ish years, we got divorced about 3 years ago. We were in the middle of filing when I found out I was pregnant so we stayed together another couple of years. Obviously having a baby together did not help. Best thing I ever did for myself, it was not a healthy relationship. Things are "weird" at first, and can often be lonely. I suggest finding something you have always wanted to do (hobby) and start doing it. You will probably meet some new people!

[noirlupe]

Its not easy but to be free of the abuse will be a wonderful thing for you.  It takes awhile but you will find that if you work on healing yourself it will make it easier.  I dont miss my ex but I also found out he was cheating on me at the time of the split.

[premar16]

my best friend is getting a divorce from her abusive ex he got aa  llawyyer and shee cant afford one what should shhe do he wants full custody of my niece

[lbryanwf]

I Kicked out my husband of 24 yrs in 2009. It was a long time coming. Something inside me just snapped, and I decided to not live another moment with an unloving spouse! Even if it was your idea, You have to mourn, like a death. Prayer helps tremendously! You must come to the place where you know things happen for a reason, and that you ultimately will be better, happier and stronger for this experience. You must take this time to decide how you will conduct the rest of your life and begin to put it into action. Lean on family, or friends. If you have children, hold them close, love them and let them love you. Love yourself .... Practice healthy living in your foods and your activities. Go for a walk or join a gym.. Learn new things, open your mind to new expriences and people..  This is your time to take care of yourself.When you begin to have a fit body, and an active mind, your self confidence will grow. If you allowed yourself to be treated badly in the marriage,  realize that you did not deserve that, it was not your fault ( when someone treats another badly, It is always 100% their own decision and very deliberate) and that no one who truly loves you would ever treat you badly. Vow to never let it happen again. Good luck and God Bless You.